I’ve been a constant relapser for the past two years. I was here as well since 2020, but I guess it didn’t last long until I was back again relapsing. Up until now, Jan 2023 where I literally feel so fed up with … me. It’s rather ironic actually that now, I’ve become the very person I swore not to be. It’s sad and kinda depressing. But I know I shouldn’t give up. I shouldn’t give up on life because there are things that I still feel need to try and accomplish. I also shouldn’t give up on myself because … why would I?
Hope exists.
So does redemption.
People can change, so do I.
So, despite of the constant anxiety for the future, the trembling nightmare caused by the past, and the bad memories that rings up to my mind every now and again that cause fear in myself to walk in the present,
No, you should not give up. Absolutely not. And I’m glad you’re still here or back here.
Everything gets better, right? - In my experience, things got worse as long as I didn’t start digging my heels in and cause a change of direction in my life. All the regret and self hate and misery did not get me there. Making commited choices and then sticking by them day by day did.
I stopped drinking, began intensive psychotherapy, I work on living a life that does not cause me misery every day, I learn about myself, try to not bullshit myself, and try to abide by healthy habits.
Here are some resources ppl are using to get from where you are to a better place: Resources for our recovery
Sobriety itself stops the negative consequences caused by addiction in you life. Everything else such as one’s mental health or factors we cannot control are different…
Plenty of 12 step programs about now maybe try one for me personally AA helped me at that time no internet or mobiles Yes thats right this old fart remembers black and white tv and used to get into movies for a halfpenny and two jam jars they were recycling it was only a few years since ww2 ended no pods or blogs just hard core sobriety and if you had to phone your sponsor phone box on the corner lol , and they still smoked at meetings i called them smokey joes had to go out at the break to breath fresh air lol used to walk to meetings some miles away , yip hard core def , keep on trucking
Sobriety made my life so much more manageable, happier, less anxious and ‘better’ all around. Sobriety does not solve all life’s problems, not even close…life is life, up and down, stuff happens…however…being sober means I can take what life offers and not make it worse or think the sky is falling.
It took me a long time to get a solid string of sober time, so I get it. Never give up on yourself. It IS worth it, YOU are worth it!!!
Put it this way. Its not going to get better if you do the same as you always have. It’ll get worse, a lot worse. You say you’re fed up, then change things up.
Insanity is doing the same thing over but expecting different results.
You will drive yourself mad with depression anxiety and your self esteem will plummet if you continue going down the same road expecting an exit when it’s just a dead end each time.
Choosing a different path as you are and following it will lead you into a uncertain scary unknown but it will be so beautiful the whole journey.
It’s better than facing no road at all.
So yes everything is already better for the steps youv made and will continue to get better each day, however small. Good luck
