F me gently with a chainsaw

Day 1. Yet again.

I thought I could control it, and I was wrong.

(The title is a quote from the movie Heathers)

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Today is a good place to start again :hugs:
Try and feel some relief in knowing you are back on your journey and good days are ahead of you.
Feeling bad inside will keep you in that dark place.
Keep reaching out and maybe try a meeting?

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Welcome back! Great title.

What is your plan to stay sober?

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Thank you! So far my plan involves hitting a meeting. I’m travelling abroad, so it’s gonna have to be online. I kinda stopped therapy because I was doing so well, so I’m gonna restart that.

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Ahhh, the old “stoping therapy cos I’m good now”. Heard that before :wink:
Sounds like a good plan. Make that 20 meetings and may I suggest a sprinkling of quit lit, daily journalling and checking in here.

Some cool stuff here:
Resources for our recovery

Good luck!

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80’s Christian Slater movies are top tier.

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Heathers was a great movie. Gotta keep that sneaky thought “I can control it” in its place.
Ironic that the better you feel, the longer you are sober, the sneakier it gets.

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As I’m waiting for an appointment from my therapist, I’m here, in my abusive parents’s house about to go to sleep hugging my dog. I promised my husband we’d only be here for two days, yet they managed to railroad me into staying the week because some big family gathering. Husband had to go and check into our next AirBnB and here I am. Here. My trigger place. The one spot where nothing changes. My unsafe space that’s soothingly safe. I didn’t drink tonight, so that’s something.

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That’s a huge thing Amy. Congrats. Sleep sound and rest well.

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Amy, you absolutely could have said no and gone with your husband. You really have to protect your sobriety. Sorry you are struggling. Make your sobriety the priority. We really don’t have a choice in that if we want to survive.

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Yeah, I should have and I really need to work on setting boundaries with them. I’m away most of the year, so saying no to shit I really really don’t want is easier via text. But when they get me in person, resisting to their manipulation tactics is challenging, to say the least. I did, however, say no to Christmas this year and put my foot down. So, I’m justifying this week as the compromise. Or something… Atm I’m deep into the twilight zone, my husband is not back till Friday and the only things helping me keep it together are my work and my dog. I’m grateful to be so busy. My carpal tunnel isn’t. But I am.

I know the feeling I’m here yet again myself, can not seem to focus past 5 days then indulge in drinking, other things and it’s effecting my life my children, I couldn’t get them to school yesterday, nor myself to work, but on a positive I’m trying to start again today, a need a good break from the drinking for sure, I did used to have control, where I could have one then no more, but I decided to use it as a stress relief for my problems, the worst thing ever, I hope you do well :muscle:

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Oh good, Amy. Yay and setting boundaries and understanding the importance of protecting your sobriety. My dog is absolutely one of my sobriety angels. And having work will be good. It sounds like your husband is very supportive. All good. Holidays, especially your first sober ones, can be hard. Please check in for support. We are here. I promise to monitor this thread throughout the day to be a cheerleader for you.

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How you getting on, girl @Amy30?

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