Day 1. Yet again.
I thought I could control it, and I was wrong.
(The title is a quote from the movie Heathers)
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Today is a good place to start again 
Try and feel some relief in knowing you are back on your journey and good days are ahead of you.
Feeling bad inside will keep you in that dark place.
Keep reaching out and maybe try a meeting?
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Welcome back! Great title.
What is your plan to stay sober?
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Thank you! So far my plan involves hitting a meeting. I’m travelling abroad, so it’s gonna have to be online. I kinda stopped therapy because I was doing so well, so I’m gonna restart that.
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Ahhh, the old “stoping therapy cos I’m good now”. Heard that before 
Sounds like a good plan. Make that 20 meetings and may I suggest a sprinkling of quit lit, daily journalling and checking in here.
Some cool stuff here:
Resources for our recovery
Good luck!
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80’s Christian Slater movies are top tier.
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Heathers was a great movie. Gotta keep that sneaky thought “I can control it” in its place.
Ironic that the better you feel, the longer you are sober, the sneakier it gets.
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As I’m waiting for an appointment from my therapist, I’m here, in my abusive parents’s house about to go to sleep hugging my dog. I promised my husband we’d only be here for two days, yet they managed to railroad me into staying the week because some big family gathering. Husband had to go and check into our next AirBnB and here I am. Here. My trigger place. The one spot where nothing changes. My unsafe space that’s soothingly safe. I didn’t drink tonight, so that’s something.
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That’s a huge thing Amy. Congrats. Sleep sound and rest well.
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Amy, you absolutely could have said no and gone with your husband. You really have to protect your sobriety. Sorry you are struggling. Make your sobriety the priority. We really don’t have a choice in that if we want to survive.
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Yeah, I should have and I really need to work on setting boundaries with them. I’m away most of the year, so saying no to shit I really really don’t want is easier via text. But when they get me in person, resisting to their manipulation tactics is challenging, to say the least. I did, however, say no to Christmas this year and put my foot down. So, I’m justifying this week as the compromise. Or something… Atm I’m deep into the twilight zone, my husband is not back till Friday and the only things helping me keep it together are my work and my dog. I’m grateful to be so busy. My carpal tunnel isn’t. But I am.
I know the feeling I’m here yet again myself, can not seem to focus past 5 days then indulge in drinking, other things and it’s effecting my life my children, I couldn’t get them to school yesterday, nor myself to work, but on a positive I’m trying to start again today, a need a good break from the drinking for sure, I did used to have control, where I could have one then no more, but I decided to use it as a stress relief for my problems, the worst thing ever, I hope you do well 
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Oh good, Amy. Yay and setting boundaries and understanding the importance of protecting your sobriety. My dog is absolutely one of my sobriety angels. And having work will be good. It sounds like your husband is very supportive. All good. Holidays, especially your first sober ones, can be hard. Please check in for support. We are here. I promise to monitor this thread throughout the day to be a cheerleader for you.
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I guess updating this wonderfuly titled thread is in order. I’m 24 days sober. Been attending She Recovers and Life Ring meeting. Read Quit Like a Woman and The Unexpected Joys of being sober, great books, I’m off to find more quit lit.
And the post-acute withdrawal symptoms are absolutely killing me. The authors of those books I read, found pink clouds and were jogging 15 miles within the first couple of weeks. Everyone starts feeling great as they’re approaching the 30 day mark… I can’t even walk straight or think straight. My brain is foggy.
Other than that, I’m more determined than ever to never question this decision again.
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Everyone has their own pace. This is your journey, nobody else’s.
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Fear not. Those authors are most likely embellishing their stories to seem like recovery heroes so that people buy their books. I doubt their accounts are accurate. It is very common for the first few months to be exactly like you are feeling. You’re right where you should be.
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Have you consulted a doctor about your PAWS?
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I spoke to my shrink, she gave me some anxiety meds (NOT benzos) and is getting me to do some bloods to see where I’m at. I’ve been reading a lot on PAWS and apart from the intense fatigue, apathy and irritated mood… it’s manageable. Meditation, hot lemon water (don’t ask, I don’t understand why lemon water or why it has to hot or what’s the point of it… but it tastes nice lol), working and forcing myself to walk the dog seems to help. I’ve also stopped setting alarms in the morning, it seems I really need the sleep!
@Englishd thank you for saying that. I suppose being too honest about feeling shit the first few weeks / maybe months would put some people off trying haha
@Misokatsu thank you so much for the encouragement! Means a lot 
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Thank you for the update!
Your body needs to heal and sleeping is a big part of healing. So when you feel like sleeping, sleep.
The pink cloud is not for everybody, as @Englishd sayed, you are ok feeling like you do.
Be kind to yourself, have patience, there will be changes in your wellbeing. ODAAT
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