I had a car accident yesterday. I’mreally lucky to be alive. I feel so shame and hurt inside. It’s like everyone i love i let them down again and again. I really wonder why my parents, siblings and husband still love me. When i hate my self, i
know that if i don’t change i will die sooner. I need help i just don’t know where to start? I feel lonely and irritated all the time. Only when I drink i feel alive and that right there is my biggest problem.
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Welcome Ariadna, joining this group is a great first step. We cannot change the past but we can control today. If we live our today the best we can our lives change for the better. We’re here for you.
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Welcome, our first step is admitting to ourselves and other human being that we are powerless over our addiction, please be gentle on yaself, this is a great place to start but I’d suggest looking in your community for sober based programs, there is so much choice as alone it’s so much more harder than it has to be.
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Hey Arimaa, welcome to the forum! I am glad you’re not physically hurt! I can relate to your post so much. I spent 3 years dancing around, questioning if I was an alcoholic or not … it was hell. Finally admitting it to myself and others is what set me free. What a relief to be finally able to talk about, build a life without it.
I’m so glad your family loves you and hope you’ll learn to love yourself too 
this forum is a great place to start!
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That must have been so frightening. I’m new to all this but acceptance is important, I’ve been lying to myself for years it’s hard to admit. All the best in your journey hope your recovery physically and mentally goes well.
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Thank you i really need support. I know this is a life commitment but i need it. I can’t loose my family over alcohol.
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I been lying to my self to my family, friends. I started to drink when I was a teenager around 16 years old. And it was fun at the beginning. Now i see my self and it’s pathetic. I need to start by not been to hard on my self. Because I know am always trying to do everything perfect and if it doesn’t go that way. I will start denigrating my self.
I used sobriety books, sobriety podcasts and this group to quit. I would recommend trying this out and finding what works for you. I’m a big believer in AA just from hearing others experiences in this group.
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Welcome Ariadna
Have a good read around here. This place has been a great place for me to get support in my sobriety. Addiction is too tough to go it alone. We are stronger in numbers. And we are all worth it.
Here are two good threads to start:
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Everything that you say here is true. Particularly about the anxiety. Since I got sober, I sometimes forget that I ever suffered with anxiety - that’s how much it has diminished in my life. Whilst I was drinking, it was crushing the life out of me.
@Arimaa12 read This Naked Mind. It underlines everything @Donut89 has said here, and a bit more besides. Seriously, it has changed my life, and the lives of thousands and thousands of people like us. Download the audiobook right now. It’ll be the best money you’ve ever spent.
Good luck in your journey.
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Welcome, and what you said rings true in our disease: Acceptance is the answer. Page 407, 4th edition of The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Hugs to ya and so glad you’re here!
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This is a great source for support, information alot of great people here to help you along on your road to recovery! Welcome to the forum stay a while read and post what ever you are struggling with or questions you might have, dont be afraid to ask for help.
Glad you made it here
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Thank you. I’m feel like I just got a big weight out of my shoulder by accepting the truth. Finally am able to talk about it with my loved ones. I lucky to have the fully support of all my family on my way to recovery.
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We dont have to be alone anymore especially dealing with addiction sometimes the voice telling us to isolate and pull us away from our loved ones is what will kill us, so be open and honest with yourself and things can get better😃
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Your post inspired me to return here. My Dad gave me the talk when I was a teen about the pitfalls in life. It’s hard to understand that voice in our head that leads us down that same path over and over and over again. One thing for sure is your not alone. Let’s do this together, I try and convince myself I can handle a few but it’s always a downhill slide into the trap. Keep checking in, here is a place full of people like us. I’m going to rehab on the beach for 30 days. In the process of that and know it will be the key to helping me unravel the patterns. Do what ever it takes, dig deep and make it through this. The other side looks pretty good to me, healthy and all that heart break healed.
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Dawn, thanks so much for posting. Rehab was a game changer for me. A great decision you made!
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Welcome and awesome job finding your new community!
The worst-case scenario isn’t getting in a car accident, being an alcoholic, and having to give up the booze.
The worst-case scenario is when booze doesn’t get you in trouble yet it makes you less efficient in your true long term goals. This would make you a less efficient person your whole life and inelligible for long term goals.
Make this car accident a trampoline to shoot into recovery. The remaining life you have will be one where long term goals are actually fulfilled!
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Thank you. That’s exactly what I’m doing, today is my first week sobar. It’s Friday i know that all my friend’s will be posting photos of them drinking and having fun while their are drunk. But i know deep in my soul that the more I drink the more empty my life is. I need to focus in having a healthy life and to makes amends to my self, so I’m able to cope without alcohol. One of the main reasons why i drink it’s was because I have shame of my actions and behavior while I was drunk. I need to forgive myself and that for me it’s the biggest challenge.
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I also drank, to a certain extent, to bury the shame and guilt over things I had done while drunk. Not that that makes sense to anyone except us alcoholics.
I found that the program of recovery in AA helped me to be comfortable without drinking, and made it possible to alleviate that same guilty and shame on a healthy and positive way.
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It’s good you’ve recognised this and can used the event as fuel to change for the better.
I’m so glad no one got hurt or killed.