Hi! So I was on here about a year ago around this time (weird) and I went 10 days sober. Which is the longest I’ve gone in probably 8 years. Tonight will be the first night since last year that I’m not drinking.
I drink every night from about 8 to 12, usually passing out with my clothes on and getting up groggy and sometimes straight up badly hungover for work at 6am the next day. Sometimes I get to like, 12 in the afternoon and realize that I have no idea how I even got to work. Needless to say I’ve been absolutely miserable for the last decade and last night I had a complete meltdown and hopped on here. I remembered this community from my 10 days last year and how helpful it was.
I have 2 kids and one of them is turning 5 in May, and I’ve just really been ashamed of myself for how long I’ve been like this. And now I’m pushing 40 and realize I’m hurtling towards an early death (I’m also overweight and completely unhealthy) and it scares the shit outta me to leave my kids and my wife here with no one. So here I am.
Anyways, thats my story.
Tonight’s not too bad so far, just incredibly anxious. I’m gonna throw on a movie and poke around on hear until I (hopefully) fall asleep.
Welcome back @Stupidrummer. Like @littlemisschatterbox said stay busy. For sure stay hydrated. Keep your belly full as much as you can. And remember your kids want and need you around. So do we! You got this and really happy you made the choice to get back in the game. Proud of you.
Hi @Stupidrummer. I’m new on here & just getting my head around how to use this App. Just wanted to say its great that you are back on here & trying again.
I have been sober 21days (this time) if you’ve done ten days before you know it gets easier. The first 5 days are the worst.
I did 6 years & still picked up a drink on anger.
We cant afford to get angry or anything else that triggers us.
I hope you’ve got some coping strategies on place for the next few days ? Like something to calm your nerves & maybe something to help you sleep.
I know I certainly needed that.
The main thing is you are trying again & I wish you all the best in staying sober - One Day At A Time You CAN do this.
@Dolse71 Thank you Like I said I was sober for six years then I relapsed. My relapse lasted two tears. I am now back on the right track & I intend to stay there.
How about you ? How long you been sober & are you feeling strong atm ?
Hey @Stupidrummer, I wasn’t around last time you were here, but welcome back all the same!
Glad to hear you got sick of your own shit! That’s usually the turning point. Just own the fact that this is the final decision. As of your first sober day- you are no longer a drinker. It’s no longer an option. You are on a desert island… you get the point.
Stay well, be brave, and kick that shit to the curb.
I know exactly how you feel. Day 7 for me today. I don’t miss the all day hangovers or passing out on the couch at 8pm. Wine is my poison. I drank 2 bottles a day for years. Quit for 4 months in 2019 and then started again. I also need to lose weight and take better care of my health. Maybe we could motivate one another. I wish you best of luck.
this time around I’m 177 days but I’m in the best position I’ve ever been and using all the tools I have and as you know that valuable experience of past failures. I can’t promise anyone I won’t drink tommorow bc I’ve made them promises to myself before and couldn’t keep them but knowing I can’t take this for granted keeps me sober today.
Congrats on 21 days! I’m also still trying to figure everything out on here lol.
I’m trying to put some coping things together, but I was completely unprepared tonight so I’m just trying to ride this anxiety out. I have no means to buy anything tonight, so that’s good.
As for sleep, fortunately I have some melatonin which has helped in the past.
With all respect, Charlie, what we have got is a progressive, ultimately fatal disease. Successful recovery from it is probably less likely than succumbing to it. Certainly, recovery powered by the self alone has almost never worked. It sure didn’t for me.
After half a lifetime of drinking, I put all I had into getting and staying sober. The first thing I recognized is that I would not be able to get and stay sober on my own. At first, the most help I would accept was a prescription for Antabuse. Then I returned to AA (not pushing AA here, this is just my story), to individual counseling, and then to an intensive outpatient program. I also had enforced sobriety, so that every day I had the very clear and immediately enforced choice to drink or go sit in jail until my trial some 5 months out. If I were going to not drink, I would need help.
We all need help in varying amounts and differently at different times. The attitude of “I;ve got this” damn near killed me, and I want you to avoid that same false sense of immunity. In fact, for me, the feeling of “I got this” was always accompanied by a flutter of panic - I felt like a young kid whistling in the dark as he walks past a graveyard - trying to keep his fears at bay.
If I seem like a curmudgeon raining on your parade, that’s poor communication on my part. But I do want to disabuse you of the notion that you got this. You don’t, I don’t, none of us do. That’s why we’re here.
Thanks for checking in😊
I’m doing ok. Just kinda jittery and anxious. Trying to keep my mind off it. I bought a 12 pack of flavored sparkling water which is helping a bit. Like, at least I have something in my hand, you know? Getting through the afternoon without buying anything was really tough, but I did it. I’m hoping I sleep a little better than last night (which was hardly at all).
I will say that the morning was nice and I felt really good when I woke up (aside from being tired). I felt accomplished and happy. I wasn’t groggy and I didn’t have the typical “don’t call out of work” fight with myself that have every morning.
You CAN do this. 
