Hi, I’ve been reading on and off for a few months. I have reset my drinking so many times. It’s 3 am and I’m awake and overthinking. I often think I’m ready to get better, sober, and strong. But then I give in, the voices of the people I love get too loud and a few drinks will quiet them. A few turns into 10. For the past I don’t even know how long I will go to work hungover, pick up my kids from school and then when I get home I start drinking. By the time my husband gets home a few hours later I’m pretty drunk. He can find me in a crying mess or stuck in my head. It’s really starting to effect my relationships and I’m getting scared. Thanks for listening.
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Welcome. So glad you are here reaching out. Keep coming back 
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Hey Tina, welcome to the forum! The challenge we have all faced, and some of us more than once, is getting through that first day. Today can be that day for you 
. Do what you need to get to bed tonight without taking a drink. Then tomorrow will be easier to handle when it comes along.
Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.
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Welcome to TS! This is a great place and has helped me tremendously in my sobriety. Stick around and post often, it helps!
That same cycle was me. I was in a dark place and did not like the person I had become.
This is how I changed…I kept myself busy, read books about sobriety, changed my routine, exercised.
When I say I changed my routine…I stopped going to get booze at the store, took a different route home from work. Went for a walk immediately when I got home. I kept lots of seltzer nearby and stayed hydrated. I went to AA meetings. I read people’s posts on here. Everyday. Several times a day. I listened to podcasts about recovery. I went to a counselor. All of these things broke up the toxic cycle I had become complacent in. I like me again. Hope this is helpful.
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Welcome, Tina! The first step is the hardest and no lie, the first days really can suck. There are ways to lessen the pain, stress and anxiety of not drinking.
I like Recovery Darhma meetings. The meditations and shares help me stay even. Next is the Quit Lit. Read everything possible; here, books blogs. A meeting of any kind can help you stay grounded. Thanks to Covid, you can pop in anonymously to any type of meeting, any time of day.
Your thoughts can be (usually are) the worst enemy. Make a list of things to do when the monkeys when your brain start throwing down.
So glad you’re here. I hope you’ll stay.
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Great to have you on here. Well done for sharing.
I feel silly asking, but how do you find meetings? I know they would be helpful for me. I just don’t know where to go.
It’s not silly to ask for help! I just tested it out. Go to Google and type in “aa” followed by your county and state. They will be a good place to start. If AA isn’t your thing, you can try “recovery dharma” or “smart recovery”
Remember, we all started somewhere, we all needed a question or two answered at first. It’s scary, but you aren’t alone. Keep asking questions, someone has had the exact same question before and someone can help you make some sense of it and maybe even provide an answer, I promise.
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The first is a list of all Recovery Dharma meetings. The Buddhist Recovery link has anything related to Buddhist principles. ITRs is primarily AA related meetings, but also has other communities. SMART is more scientific or CBT based.
Get on a screen, or in a room. 
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You guys are awesome! Thank you!
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Welcome. I hope you’re able to get what you need from this forum. Please check in here every day. Even if you’re still getting yourself together, I think it will be useful. So many people here want you to succeed and will be happy to give advice and support if you reach out. You probably already know this but we have a thread where you can check in every day if you need/want.
Happy to listen. Thanks for sharing, Keep sharing.
Welcome to the community 
I’m new here. Checking in. Haven’t even completed my first day. Here I go…
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Welcome to the group
Everything comes with time, i just made it to my 1 year and it took a solid 6-7 months for my brain to be clear. First couple months are rough, worth it in the end.
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You are making the steps to get better. I’ve been fighting this since I was 16. Its still a battle today at 56. Keep at it and find what works!
Hi my name is Kip I am one day sober 2dys at midnight I am a bit nervous as this the first group I have joined so all new to me
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Welcome, Tina! Tons of support and inspiration here, we’ve all got your back! Congratulations on your decision and keep staying strong!