So I am attending my first social (distancing) event sober and although I am so excited to see my friends. I am nervous to be around them because I know they will all be drinking. Any advice on how to maneuver myself in this situation?
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If you watch the people that are drinking you can see them slowly be changed as the alcohol takes over their body. And know that your body is not being changed that way by staying sober. Have a glass of soda and put a lime in it
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- Have your own non-alcoholic drinks ready. Could even be put into unmarked water bottle or soda can with coozie over it, etc… To lessen the amount of times people poke at you for not drinking. (some friends do this jokingly and don’t mean harm…) but they might assume you ARE drinking if they don’t know exactly what you have in hand.
Or 2. You can be honest with your friends about your sobriety efforts or say something like “not feeling like drinking today”. If they do care about you hopefully they won’t pester/peer pressure.
- Recognize how it’s still fun being there and you can enjoy the company of others without needing alcohol to fuel your enjoyment.
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How’s it going? Or how did it go, depending on what timezone you’re on and what kind of event it is!
I told evvverrryone I wasn’t drinking at the first sober social I went to. I also went into some detail because they are good friends and I know them well. They were all cool with it. A bit surprised maybe but they also saw me hot mess drunk enough to probably think it was a fair enough choice 
although no one said that.
At work events and where I don’t know people so well I just go with the classic, no thanks I don’t drink. Other people drink less than I realised, cos I was always too busy getting trashed to pay attention to what other people were doing.
It’s really amazing to properly be there with people, to appreciate them, remember the conversations you have, not worry about whether you did something desperately embarrassing and waking up bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning. That more than makes up for that bit of social anxiety that comes before the first few sober socials.
The first link @SassyRocks posted has some awesome advice that got me through the practical side of things. Have a plan and be prepared to leave early in particular.
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I love seltzer ! In a weird way Im kinda excited to observe this alcohol change in people and not have it happen to me. I have has so much anxiety about the way that I act at parties so I’m looking forward to being completely in control.
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Honesty is the best policy ! I had been so scared about admitting I had a problem to my friends that I forgot that they were just that, my friends. The amount of care and support has been overwhelming.
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Such great info thank you !
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Its this weekend I just wanted to collect a few tools beforehand in order to be prepared. And as you said I am looking forward to being present and appreciating my peers presence.
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I like to use the one"I’m allergic to alcohol? Yeah when I drink I break out in felonies "! Try it or not people usually laugh and understand. And lots of coffee !!! Lol stick close to a friend that also might know your situation and understand. Don’t be alone. Most important stay spiritually fit. Pray ask for protection and guidance.
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Here’s what works for me this is the most important part always have an exit plan. I always drive if you can’t drive with someone sober so you can leave when it gets uncomfortable because it probably will since this is your first social event. Never take a drink from someone bring your own cup I bring mine every where if you can’t bring a cup order your own soda, tea, or water. I will say it’s funny and sad watching the alcohol take over but it’s always a friendly reminder of where I don’t want to go back too. Be mindful of everything and everyone but go have some fun and enjoy it because we need interaction and we need to have fun what’s the point if we don’t.
I’ve gone to a few events sober now… birthday parties, weddings, concerts. I’ve found most people don’t even care and the other people don’t even remember what went on… you can see them getting more and more wrecked as the evening goes on. I went to a party and the next day I got a couple of texts from people apologizing if they were stupid to me and everyone was fine… Most don’t remember the evening. 
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That never gets old. The reality of (seeing) drinking in real time from a clear head. I used to bartend when I was younger and even then it was an eye opener.
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That is the sign of real friends. Anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable about it isn’t worth knowing!
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How did it go?
At first I hid my sobriety from my friends. Then I questioned why I would do that and couldnt come up with a good answer. So now I’m just honest. Telling the truth has it’s own level of freedom. You dont have to go into details other than “No thank you, I dont drink”.
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