This is my first time writing in this app and I had no idea I could.
I have struggled with the amount of alcohol I drink since I was a young teen.
I then found out at the age of 30 that I have hereditary hemochromatosis which as it turns out means I shouldn’t have even been drinking let alone the amount I have over the years.
The initial shock of it all sent me into a emotional rollercoaster from the realisation that the thing upsetting me the most was that I couldn’t drink anymore. I spent a few weeks being very mindful, journalling and envisioning what I wanted my life to look like.
This worked for 6 months until I visited home for Christmas.
My friends and family only know the fun drinking me. And slowly I slipped back into old habits convinced I could stop when I came back to my everyday life far away from my friends and family.
But after what felt like a bunch of stress triggers came one after the other after the other. I ended up back to drinking too much everyday.
I wake everyday guilty, anxious, tired, worried for my health and just overall hating that I seem to have no control over myself but then by early afternoon I’m already looking forward to a drink.
I don’t know what I wanted to get out of this but I’m hoping with a place to write it down it could help me get back to long term sobriety. I want a long life and I want to be healthy.
8 hours sober and praying this will be the time I don’t have the reset the timer.
Welcome to the greatest sober community. Do you have a plan of sobriety? Have you thought of a meeting such as AA, Dharma or another recovery program? So many resources online and in person. Read as much as you can around here and post often…I am glad you are here on our Sober Journey.
I’m going to look Into a local or online meeting as I think as much as I’ve tried to convince myself I can do it alone I just can’t.
I’m looking forward to staying active on here and holding myself accountable.
Just having somewhere to write it down and know that people understand the struggles feels like it’s helping already.
Thankyou
Acknowledging the issue is a great first step. Welcome to an awesome community. A member here says the opposite of addiction is connection. Lean on your support system and us to gain a sober day at a time
Heu @Eob, welcome to the app! I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and that it’s shining a light on a problem with drinking. I think it’s brave to admit it and put it all into words- proud of you for that. 6 months is a lot of sobriety, so you know you can do it! I also had a relapse in the last year that threw me into a tailspin, but coming back was wonderfully rewarding and absolutely worth it. You’ve got this!
You know you have a problem. You’re taking on a huge challenge. It’s not easy, but it is definitely possible. Everyone’s sober journey is different and personal, as it should be because you own it. It’s yours.
My advice would be to do whatever works for you. Try not to overwhelm yourself with guilt, anxiety and regret. It’s completely normal to require help. Don’t be afraid to ask. You’ll be surprised how many people care about you and will step up for you.
I was overwhelmed and anxious too. Sobriety will not make your life perfect and be the answer to all your problems, but you’ll be in a much better position to weather the storms of this thing we call living.
Hang in there. I’ve said this before, time will seem to crawl at first. Once you get some hours/days/weeks behind you, you’ll find it to be less stressful. And to be honest, fulfilling and downright enjoyable.
Do it for you. Take care of your mental and physical health. You’re important and you’re worth it.
Keep us posted. We want you to win.
Welcome Eob.
I could never do it alone. It took me lots of support, from this great community. Knowledge. I learned everything I could about this insidious, cunning, baffling and powerful disease. And an open mind to anything and everything to finally STOP drinking.
Have a good read around. Join in when you’re comfortable.
But, it’s the sharing that heals. Not the person that listens.
Believing In Myself
Let us know how your meeting went wish you well
Welcome and thank you for sharing. I became very ill and found out my liver is in bad shape. I also had been drinking since I was a teen. I did not get sober until I realized that if I continued to drink I would die. My recovery has been a journey put thankful I have 685 days sober. I drank daily on good and bad days so I understand how hard soberity is. Make changes now and we are all here to support you.
Thankyou all for such supportive reassuring messages and for taking the time to reach out.
It is refreshing to feel like I have a place to express my feelings towards it all and I already feel lighter.
I am also really aware of my previous habits and although I’ve made it 34 hours in the next few days/week is going to be my biggest challenge.
I’ve made it through the first day/night so many times before rewarding myself with a drink which feels so ridiculous when I write it down when the goal for a long time has been to be fully sober. I’m so aware how easy it is to convince myself but I am determined to not let it happen.
At my previous 6 months sober I felt the best I ever have, I slept better, lost weight, my mood was so much more stable, I could feel the health and my body thanking me for it. I am keeping these things at the front of my mind to push for each day.
All of this is also making me aware at some point I need to admit to my addiction to the people around me. Which although I have about 3 close people around me who are aware because they have watched me spiral and have brought up AA etc have always just tried to be there and wait it out from fear of me pushing them away or I think convincing themselves it’s not really an issue or alcoholism. There is also a large amount of people who have no idea as I have become extremely good at hiding it.
I can see alot of challenges going forward but currently I am proud that I found the courage to admit it here and I’m hoping the more I share the easier it will become.
I again can’t thank you all enough.
I will be making sure I come on regularly to update and keep myself accountable.
I hope to get to the point I can be a supporter to others as you are all being for me!
You are always welcome, staying sober is easier together 
Your posts already help people, sharing is helping yourself and others.
ODAAT
Your 3 friends are kind to suggest ways to ease your drinking
Easy does it. Don’t rush. You already supporting everyone just by expressing your hope
I’m over 2 years without a drink but seeing someone and their need to quit alcohol is a good reminder to me where’d I’d be if I pick up a drink
Being sober isn’t bad
Just take it one day at a time. Sobriety can be life changing for the better.
Keep reading and posting
The magnifying glass is helpful for looking things up that have been talked about
Day 16 check-in
I nearly had a drink last night but I didn’t and I am so so glad waking up this morning knowing I didn’t let myself down and fall into repeating myself.
I’ve spent these last few weeks falling into a tight routine but I must admit I’ve gone into myself a little bit to avoid dealing with people and talking about some of the issues I’m going through.
I feel like sobriety needs to just take up space at the minute and I’m hoping once I’ve got more time behind me I will find it in me to start trying to deal with some of the obstacles I can see in front of me.
I still haven’t found the courage to attend an in person meeting but the longer I go the more I am thinking about it and hope to actively attend one soon.
One day at a time.