How do you know and more importantly, how do you respond when a loved one is Gaslighting you?
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Great question…I have no answers lol sorry! But I’ll look it up on the internet right now.
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Generally if someone has done something and they’re making it out to be your fault, that’s gaslighting. It’s a pretty common tactics in abusive relationships, but it can happen outside of them too and it’s easy to get blindsided by it, especially if you’re emotionally involved with the person or are emotionally compromised at the time.
It’s hard to say exactly how to respond because every situation is going to be different depending on if the person is a parent, a lover, a friend, etc., and if there is a possibility of physical harm. I try to stay calm and stand by the truth as I see it. If the other person becomes emotionally unstable, then I try to remove myself from them until they can calm down. I’ve ended friendships, stepped away from relationships, and distanced myself from family members because of how I’ve been treated. You have to know what you will and will not put up with, and who you will allow to be in your life. No matter how much you care about them, if they are harmful to your wellbeing, then it may not be worth it to continue to be around them.
But again, every case is different and in some you may not be able to just drop them from your life. I don’t know if that was helpful at all, but I hope it was somewhat helpful.
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I am Ok/good. I’ve contacted my old therapist to schedule new appointments. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to obtain an appointment due to Covid. Not sure I will do well with Telehealth meetings that are currently offered. That’s all I can do though so we will see.
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Healthy boundaries.
Oh. Wow. Not to side rail things, but I never realized people, like, actively gaslit other people like this. I’ve heard it in conversations often enough, but not so cruelly trying to push someone like that with active manipulation.
Huh… Yes. No bueno. None of that, plz.
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I had experience with this just lately ,what I did was write them a letter and explain where I’m too to where I was too in life and why I’m not exception that behaviour from anyone especially family ,and that you have choices today and you choice is too not have you in my life ,explain what they do makes you feel but don’t just rush write it it took me a few tries to Really get down to the basics and simpfly it for them ,as if gaslighting there mental or emotional capacity maybe not that great so the more basic and too the point the better ,don’t try to get angry in letter keep it polite and simple.i hope it works out for you.look me up in had alotof issues with my brother the theard is called narsasustic bully excuse spelling 
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You write like that’s a simple thing Duncan when you in the middle of it it isn’t that easy as saying ok health boundaries especially if it’s a family member that has done it for years through your addiction no judgement just a bit of inside information as I’ve lived with this for decades healthy boundaries take time especially when newly sober.
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Well having healthy boundaries personally has decreased the occurrence of gaslighting in my life, in my experience. But each to their own. How about you supply us with your unabated wisdom.
Ouch touchy I’ve already said my peace
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Yeah I get you there but I feel if we put them in a situation where they know we see it for what it is call a spade a spade ,drop contact altogethet .that’s not Gona change there behaviour to gaslight others but it does start protecting ourselves from it.xxbut I do agree with what ya saying 
my brother even does it too my mum to everyone.
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All the more reason to enforce healthy boundaries.
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How about if your not Inna position to enforce your own boundaries Duncan how on god’s earth do we enforce onto someone else if I was newly sober or getting clean and going through this and struggling not to pick up .as you are aware this is a forum for addicts it’s not that simple
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Having healthy boundaries will protect you from people with personality disorders, no it’s not easy, but it is worth it. And it’s not about just saying the words healthy boundaries, it’s about creating them and sticking by them and having enough awareness and self worth to take charge of your own boundaries and deal with people who try cross them. https://www.infinumgrowth.com/gaslighting-relationships-setting-boundaries/
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But that’s exactly what you did in your comment
HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
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Saying No and or walking away is a good start. Contacting agencies if you’re a victim of crime. Seeking help. Self defence. List goes on.
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Grow up lol.
Healthy boundaries can be both internal and external.
All the best OP.
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This is interesting @Lilemm because I recently asked my sister what boundaries she had in her romantic relationships and she literally said “I don’t really know what Boundaries are, I’ve never thought about it”. It’s so true, it’s a very complicated subject but I guess I get how it could be simple once you have an understanding of it. I too have had terrible boundaries with others as well.
I allowed someone for so long to bulldoze over any boundary I tried to implement, that once I was in a relationship with someone else that actually had boundaries, I took them as being selfish… And I projected exactly what the bulldozer had done to me onto them.
To quote a recent favorite song of mine “Evil is a relay sport when the one who’s burnt turns to pass the torch”
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My boundaries are all new and I’m far from all seeing all knowing my gaslighter my brother still makes my feel like a fearful child as he’s a drinker and my dad was a drinker and he’s turnt into what scared me the most as a child drunk farther.so yeah it gets personnel but I can see what your saying in your comment and I will take that on board fully
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I am a pro as this topic!!
I have been in a marriage for 6 years with a woman who has been gaslighting me sense before we moved in together!
Common gaslighting signs are:
You apologize for everything, even if you didn’t do it.
They lie to you without even a eye twitch but you knkw they are lying.
They use things that mean a lot or the world to you in their attacks at you.
They confuse you such as saying you are going in circles or telling you that you are contradicting yourself to make you stop and think if you are or how you are.
They blame EVERYONE else and blame you for lying all the time.
You stop believing yourself…
Gaslighting is serious stuff and you will go insane from it.
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