I hope my own thread is a safe place to post this. I’m getting angry lately when I come on here. I see people that I want to reach out to and encourage, but the die hard AA people get to them first and then I’m afraid to respond.
The militant AA people, (clearly not all, my besties on here are in a program) don’t respect your sobriety if you’re not in a program. You’re not allowed to say AA isn’t for you. You get ridiculed and told there is something wrong with you, or you didn’t work the program.
I’m a huge fan of the documentary “The 13th Step” I believe the original message was about predatory behavior, but more so, they ring to light the stigma that there is something wrong with you if you don’t submit to every belief in the program. Black and white.
My very dear friend with 28 years sober, just recently left AA. He actually created and ran a huge AA Facebook group. He got so disgusted with the rude and dismissive replies to people who just spilled their hearts out. It’s all robotic, unoriginal, and frankly rude. “So? What are you going to do different this time?”. “Don’t drink and go to meetings”, “go to a meeting”. These would be a one line response to someone pouring their heart out. I can’t remember all of them, but some made my blood boil, and even though it was my friends group, I got the hell out of there. Mean is mean. Tough love is a bullshit excuse to be mean to someone under the guise of saying you’re trying to help. Tough love does not need to be cruel. Anyway, he also left his own damn Facebook group for that reason. We watched the 13th Step together and he was amazed by how soot on it was. There is something vindicating about professionals confirming what you were thinking. My therapist is also on the same page as I am.
Having a year or a few months sobriety and then telling someone that just lost 5 years of consecutive sobriety that the ONLY way to get sober is with a program??? Really? So what about me? Right, the die hard AA people are sure that I will fail because I’m not in AA. Truth bomb, I did my time. Those who know me know that I worked the shit out of it. It’s not for me. What I’m doing now is for me and I’m happy.
Now, for me AA was ok in the beginning, but it lives in the past, not the future. There is a very negative vibe and a fear created that you need this or you’re going to ruin your life. The war stories are overkill and repetitive.
It turns into a big dick contest. I’ll die if I go out. I was living under a bench or a bridge covered in vomit and piss. Well fuck! I never lived under a bridge, so I’m not like these people. I don’t belong here. This is why I don’t go into details of my story. All you need is to know that if you can’t stop once you start, you probably have a problem.
Ohhhhh, I hear it now…. Don’t compare yourself to others. Come on! We are human, it’s what we do.
You have 50 years sober, an “Old Timer” if you will. So, you quit when you were 13? I’m happy for you that you realized early on in life, but I’m sorry, you cannot relate to what my life has been like and you certainly cannot sit on your AA high horse and insult my sobriety. I wish I stopped the first time I went to AA too, because my life would be so different. But apparently, I didn’t have a problem because I wasn’t living under a bridge, so I kept on drinking.
I’m so angry over the divide created by the die hard AAers to the extent I don’t even want to come here. These folks can openly mock us sober people who don’t have a “program”. You mean YOUR program by the way. But all one has to say is the AA is not for them and they get relentlessly interrogated.
I’ll never be cocky in my sobriety. I will say this, the desire to drink, as of today, has disappeared to the extent of the thought of it actually grosses me out. It is the first time it has actually been easy and natural for me. I don’t think about it. I don’t care if I’m around it. I don’t feel left out or like I’m missing out on anything. Yet apparently I’m just a dry drunk white knuckling it. Ok bro.
Then I see people in AA struggle like crazy every single day like being sober is torture and takes a tremendous amount of effort. So help me understand why YOUR program is better? Do you hate yourself? Do you want to suffer?
For me, it’s a combination of the great friends I made here, the best therapist in the world, and medication.
For the first time in my entire life, I love myself. I love what I see in the mirror, and I’m truly happy. I love my life. Boy, not going to AA sure has fucked me up, huh? 
Now, I don’t give a rat’s ass if you go and it works for you. Actually, it makes me really happy for you. Just don’t put me down because I’m doing it a different way. Wtf? It’s so weird and culty to me. I’m not on here demeaning people for going, so don’t demean others for not.
The ones that put people down and are on the highest of horses, so you know, alert alert, that judgement is going to lead you down a bad path. I’ve been around the program since 1986, and I’ve seen the preachy ones go down. Worry. About. Yo. Damn. Self.
I’m over it. I’m just going to hang out in the meme thread. And of course ignore the insulting memes aimed towards those not in AA
There was so much blood and it hurt like hell. I’ve been up all night with pain in my stomach and chest cavity. I wonder if something tore since it was so violent or if it’s just ulcers again. It hurts to inhale and I’m very uncomfortable today. This better not interfere with my test.
