Going out... how to stay sober

I’m going out for the first time being sober. All of my friends are heavy drinkers. Any tips on staying sober?


Define going out?

Like hanging in a group? Its really gonna be a game changer, like you may find who your real friends are.

I been in groups where drinking was involved, but I was able to say no thanks I don’t drink.

If they come on with peer pressure it sounds like your friends have their own problems.

Have an escape plan if it’s too tempting

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A couple of older threads that might be useful :blush:

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Talk to them all before hand and explain the situation and why it is important you stay sober.

If they are not good enough friends that you are able to have this conversation, then I suggest either staying away, or telling a white lie that you can’t drink cause of medical reasons… Otherwise be prepared to get drinks pushed onto you.

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Find new friends with shared sober interests?

Honestly, I consciously ducked out of seeing my barfly friends the first few months sober. I spent more time with the ones who liked staying in to play board games and stuff.

They’d still have a drink or two, but they’re tame normies and I had my sparkling water and fun to keep me occupied. Plus made many new friends that just don’t drink at all. With time you’ll meet a bunch if you get into recovery circles.

Eventually I just wasn’t interested in being places where the focus was drinking. From time to time I still meet the “partiers” to have dinner and catch up. But then I wish them a good night and head home once their attention turns to bar hopping.

Still care about them, it’s just not fun to me.


Also, three powerful words: I don’t drink.

It’s all we have to say.


I had to change people, places and things. The people that were truly friends went with me and did sober things…those that refused to, are no longer friends. Some of my drinking friends have come back (been sober 1000+ days)…however, I would put them in the acquaintance category.


I can’t speak for anyone but myself, and I know that even now with all the sober time I have that I shouldn’t be around people who use/drink. I can and have said no many times, but why risk it if you dont have to? I know it sucks to have to cut yourself away from your friends, but is your sobriety important to you? What is more important to you? Are you willing to risk your clean time and sobriety?

Those are questions only you can answer, sweetie.


That’s easy. Don’t go.


club soda and bitters…my go to.

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A guy I was in treatment with does his bike rides with friends hits the bar with them and drinks water soda or other non alcoholic drinks available


I’m not sure how long your sober, so probably better to not go for a few weeks.
But if you must, bring your own AF drinks, or know a good one to order (mine is soda, cran & lime) if it’s an “outting”. & make sure to leave when they start to get tipsy.
(Honestly i can’t stand being around my friends when they are several in now)
Stay strong & remember you are working on you!


Usually I offer to D.D. and get my friends to buy me diet cokes all evening. Lol. As long you genuinely enjoy hanging with them and they’re respectful of your sobriety, then it should be a good time with real friends


To early in your sobriety and if i was you i wouldnt go, we cant go out here because of lockdown ? dont know were you live but social gatherings here isnt safe .