Thanks.
Swimming has been recommended before but I havenāt tried it. I was thinking of it like, I donāt see myself feeling fulfilled from that. But now I am seeing it more as a rehab tool and will likely try it at least. I can just see myself getting bored 
but no sense in discrediting that which I havenāt tried.
I also struggle in general with altering routine so thatās part of the mental block as well. Being aware of that means I can (hopefully) work my way around it.
Sorry your back is flared up 
I tried out swimming and got very bored. Not to say it wonāt be for you just my experience with it. I went a few times but the longest I made it to was 30 minutes. It didnāt provide the normal feel good feelings for me. Iāve just been doing yoga and walking when mine is messing up. My neurologist appt is finally here, well on monday.
Yeah the long walks Iāve been going on have been the closest thing for me. Get out of my head for 2 or 3 hours.
I do love being in the pool, but Iāve never been able to see myself being a lap-swimmer. Same reason I canāt be on a treadmill too long, but at least you can people watch while doing that.
Iām still going to try it though, and also try to not let my preconceived notions about it influence my actual experience.
Good luck with yer appt!
I think my biggest hurdle is the only lap pool here is inside and I donāt like to be stuck inside for exercise. I remember one morning I went and I could sort of see the sunrise through the windows and it made me sad cause I was inside.
For sure!! I hope you enjoy it more than you think 
I sympathise w you. This is exactly how I feel every time the my mind takes a turn into the shitter or in between rapid dark phases. Which is regularly. Living w this insecurity of what will happen w a predisposition like either of ours is sth else than just living life on lifeās terms. Hope you find a way to get on w it.
Update on the old squat fear. It took awhile w the cycles but finally ended up lifting (a tiny bit) heavier today than ever before and yet I was a lot less afraid. I guess maybe the fewer reps on 531, maybe the BBB and all the carbs, none of my pants fit anymore, idk whatever it was, I take the slow progress.
Whether youāre up or down, youāll come back around. Donāt give up, team. 
Iāve been pretty hung up on the number on the scale recently because I canāt get rid of some extra weight without going into an unhealthy amount of calories. So because of this Iām trying to focus more on the non scale stuffs.
Today I did 3 sets of 12 diamond pushups and only had to modify on the last set 
Try and use the mirror more than the scale. I know you been doing a little bit more strength training since you got your barbell. Pretty good chance you might be putting on a little more muscle , which will keep the scale the same if not raise it a few pounds
The mirror is not my friend at all. I feel worse about myself and end up beating myself up for pudge here and there. Hell the āpudgeā may not even be there but I see it. Iāve gained 15lbs over the past year and a half-ish. I know thatās not all muscle, plus my clothes fit different. Iām going to get one of those tape measures and take measurements this weekend. And Iām debating on checking out a nutritionist, like maybe this is a hormone issue. Iāve cut out most sugar, upped protein and recently have been focusing on less carbs, unless the carbs are from fruits and veggies.
A nutritionist is probably a great idea then. 
I recorded a few of my training drills to show my PT to see if/where I was going wrong with any of them.
Holy cow some of the facial expressions were hilarious. (Wonāt be sharing those)
Todays workout complete 
Did a little chest and cardio before meeting up with the personal trainer for my last free session. That workout she put me thru made me feel like I was soooo out of shape. My goodness. But it felt so good to get a good sweat on. Will be incorporating those exercises into my workout for sure
Been to gym pretty much every day over the last month. Iāve lost roughly 8 kilos (~18 pounds). I can tell my 49 yr old body is getting stronger.
Donāt beat yourself up. Do beat yourself into shape!
Hope this is okay to pist in the fitness thread as I thought it was fitness/nutrition related:
Tried something a little different today!
Mocha Protein Cottage Cheese Icecream 
(Made 2 cups of icecream or 4 - 1/2 cup servings)
Each serving is:
149 cal
3.75 gr fat
9.25 gr Carbs
7.5 gr Sugar
20 gr protein
I LOVE icecream!! So hopefully this is a healthier option for me. Have to chill it for 4 hours and then give it a try!
Todays workout complete
Did legs today and i think i may have overdone it. My legs are extremely sore and my right knee is abit irritated. Not damaged but sore from overuse.
Leg day consisted of:
Its my last day at the actually gym bcuz my son will now be on summer break as of tmrw. I will return to that gym on Aug 29th. Over the summer I will be working out in my buildings gym at 530am 5x a week. We only have dumbbells and cardio equipment so that limits some of my exercises but I will continue to put in my best effort. Also reduced my calories 3 days ago as I seemed to be stuck at a plateau in my weight. Noticed that the scale budged this morning. Yay!!! Feels like Im on the right path 
You can do a lot w dumbbells girl. 
let us know if you need inspo.
Fucking cottage cheese ice-cream yaas, I like to make mine into a pudding w vanilla flavour and peanut butter nomnomnom 
Thanks so much! Ill definitly be asking for some inspo if i need it which i probably will to be honest
