Been trying to get sober the past 2 years. Probably 20 relapses. Had a 4 night in a row bender and today I feel the worst doom and gloom blues anxiety. Hasn’t been this bad ever… I do not want to feel this way ever again! Hoping I can remember this feeling so I don’t ever drink again.
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Hello, glad you are here
Anxiety was one of the huge factors of my decision to quite. Mine was alcohol and sleep deprivation induced anxiety. It took me long to realize this. Now that I have been past 20 days sober I haven’t had anxiety since. I’m hope you like this place and find support. Everyone is very friendly and welcoming.
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Welcome! Coming here saved my life. Being active here will really help. For most of us, just not drinking wasn’t enough to stay sober. What kinds of things are you doing to stay sober?
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The “kindling effect” Is real. Each time people quit becomes more and more difficult and scary. Just like someone else said it gets better and better even though you may have to go over the hump right now it is worth it!
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Write down just how bad you’re feeling so you have a concrete reminder to look back onto. Carry it in your pocket if you need to so its always on hand to read.
I’m with @Thirdmonkey , its near impossible to do it on your own, are you following a recovery program or have any supports around you?
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Hey, why is it called that?
@Donewithbooze Jason welcome! You need to change something in the way you’re trying to get sober. Are you really trying? How much of a priority is this in your life? It seems it needs to be a bigger one.
They say “Nothing changes if nothing changes” and I’ve found that to be very true for me.
Some helpful links:
Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser
Good luck, and commit yourself.
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Now is the time to attack sobriety and take action … 1) it will help relieve your anxiety 2) it will build the system necessary to have in place when those cravings inevitably return and forgetfulness replaces pain.
I’ve relapsed so many times following dark hangover periods and the only times I’ve started to build sustainable sobriety were those times when I took concrete action.
Examples of action:
- go to a meeting and share that you are newly sober
- call a help line
- enroll in treatment
- call and (even better) meet up with another sober alcoholic
- keep reading and writing here but form some sort of commitment tied to it that you can stick to…. Like, I will read 5 posts and comment 2x per day
These are just suggestions based on my experience. Hope your anxiety lessens my friend 
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Welcome to the forum!
I also get (got?) horrendous anxiety after benders, often to the point where I’d be freaking out and not able to breathe. There were quite a few times where that stopped me drinking etc for a bit but I always came back to it - like the person above said it’s so easy to forget the anxiety/ shame/ regret etc.
My last session really shook me up though and got me to the point where I never want to feel the way you are describing again.
Anyway, the point of my post is to say I can relate and also that I think it’s important to get help. I’m trying to do that this time round as I always struggled on my own.
Good luck! This forum is really cool as everyone wants you to do well so I hope that helps and inspires you!!
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I saw that u posted this 2 days ago… how have u been doing?
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You Got this! Seek Support with Groups from many Mental Health Facilities! I got me a Therapist to talk about why I turned to Drugs and Alcohol in the first place. Isolation is the worst thing for you because you have too much time in your head to think! I have Faith that you can do this!
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Thank you! Yeah it’s been a battle. But I’m glad I’m here too. Difficult part is a relapse, like a never ending pit. But this app seems promising, appreciate the support. And congratulations on 20 days!
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Thank you. I understand completely, I tried moderation management, therapy, but never joined any support groups. That’s awesome this app has saved you. I’m looking forward to getting there!
Thank you for the comment, I’ve never heard of the kindling effect. But just read into it. Yeah that totally makes sense. Learning something new about addiction on this app, I appreciate the support!
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That’s a great idea. I need to buy a journal or something and just keep it with me. My problem is after I get over the withdrawal phase and do well for a bit, I feel I can just have one. Eventually will realize after the 10000th time, I probably can’t. Thanks for the support
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It’s great knowing that you were able to get over those horrible episodes. I can relate to that. It’s refreshing to know that people like you have succeeded. Appreciate you
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Not as much as I should have. Did therapy 1-2 times a week when my insurance covered it 100%. Thought I was having some breakthroughs. Insurance changed and each session was $200 out of pocket, so I went at it alone. Lasted about a week. So I appreciate finding this group, and thanks for the comment!
You’re not alone in this. The last time I drank I had a three day weekend bender, which ended with a massive panic attack on Monday. After that I promised to get myself sober, and it’s been 74 days so far.
My friends, my therapist and this forum have helped me a lot during the last couple months. We are here for you for support if you need it
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I agree, I think I’m to the point where I truly realize I’ve got a problem. Past couple years and phases over the past 10 or so have been a blur. I realize now that I don’t want to waste anymore of my life and ruin relationships of people I care about. It used to be a social thing, and I was really blind to the fact that I just liked having a good time, like “a lot”.
So I’m hopeful that I will take further steps beyond what I’ve tried in the past. Appreciate the reading material, thank you!
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Totally agree with you. An action plan is what I need. When I did therapy for 6 months, it helped. But in my mind I thought just the fact of me “going to therapy” was just to magically solve things. Obviously wrong. Appreciate the suggests, really.
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