Hate my life

Relapses
41

Whatever it takes

44

I can’t sleep at the moment. I’m all Shakey as well but in bed just reading and thinking

46

Sorry your struggling. Glad you talked to your dr. Sounds like your moving in a positive direction. I have to say that my best thinking got me drunk and stupid. No where near where I wanted to be. I had to find another way. I couldn’t do it alone. AA helped me and I went in with no God, i actually disliked the only God I knew. I used nature in the beginning as my higher power. I know believe there is something out there more powerful than me that is helping me stay sober. Not sure what it is but I thank it every morning and night. Keep on reading it helps too.

47

I wish I could lock off my thoughts, maybe then I could sleep

1 Like
50

No, I haven’t even heard of them.

51

Yes…“militant”. Fitting because I look at this as a war. A fight for my life. A revolution. I’ve thrown off the chains of my oppressor, and am willing to live this way to remain free.

Maybe you don’t look at it in these terms. Maybe it’s more of a “journey” and that’s perfectly cool. When one sets out on a journey, it helps to have a destination in mind, a direction in which to proceed. It helps to ask for directions when lost.

You can wander into addiction, but you can’t wander out.

Good luck to you.

4 Likes
52

I’m not a believer in God, a higher power, meditation etc. Please don’t take offence if that’s what u believe in that is your choice. Its not the path I will be taking but I don’t know which one I will end up going down either

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55

Thanks stevie, I may not totally agree with you but I have seen many of your posts over the little time I have been here which have some weight to them.

2 Likes
56

Whatever you do, don’t do it my way. My way never works… for me at least.

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57

What’s ur approach then?

58

Not really

59

I had to be humble enough to admit that my way doesn’t work and give someone else’s way a shot. I don’t know why, but reading this thread feels like a bunch of salesmen vying for your business when you show no interest in buying anything. When you’re ready you’re ready. I’m not gonna sell you anything I just know that when I rely on my own thoughts to drive the bus, I always end up in the ditch. It’s scary as shit to say that “maybe I don’t know how to run my own life” but for me, that’s the truth.

8 Likes
60

You might look into a low dose of amben to get your sleep back online. Only maybe take for a night or two to reset sleep schedule. then stop taking it, because it’s addictive. I have relapsed countless times myself. Never stop fighting it, keep getting back up on your horse. The more time you put between you and alcohol, the stronger you will become. Fight!

1 Like
61

Thanks smokey

62

I have a hell of a battle on my hands, I need to stay positive even though I feel like shit and the whole world seems to be against me.

63

Everyone here wants you to win. They want to share icecream with you, when you cross 365 days. They want the day to come when someone new shows up, lost and struggling and you post “I understand what you are going through. Lemme tell you what had worked for me”.

That’s the name of that tune.

3 Likes
64

For the first 3-4 days when I stopped I just binged on Netflix. Found series that I liked the look of and watched the whole lot. It stopped my mind from thinking of drinking. If I slept I just rewound.

4 Likes
65

It’s not just the thought of drinking, it’s everything I have done to end up where I have. So many different feelings and emotions. It’s becoming addicted to everything that was bad for me.

66

Perhaps I should have said “everything”. it seemed to close down my brain and allowed me to sleep and I think it helped me to process through what I was feeling at the time. I bet if I revisited those shows now I wouldn’t remember watching them!

1 Like
67

I seem to zone out while watching TV and that’s when my head starts it’s games. Been in bed 4 hours and just can’t switch off even though I feel exhausted