I woke up an hour or so ago, with a splitting headache. Made myself a cup of chamomile tea and took some painkillers. Reading my book at the moment. Do you read fiction?
I know this feeling very well. I always beat myself up for relapsing especially if I have a hangover. Thatās why Iām trying to break this cycle. Dont forget to be kind to yourself.
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Iām not much of a reader. The only reading I have done recently is on here
Thank you for this post, thatās what I love about this fourm. I have been going to AA and at that time I wouldāve excercised and now it is more important that I go than excercise. Honestly I havenāt been thinking straight, a lot on my mind and completely forgot that I can ,
GET THE F. UP EARLIER and excerciseā¦
Hahahaha like wtfā¦
I miss excercise and tommorow Iāll just do that.
Thanks man !
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Hey Addictive you mentioned gambling been part of ur problems I think u did anywayā¦my dad was and still is a gambler it is the reason my parents split up and the reason he ended up sleeping in a car due to selling all his belongings. Now he is still gambling but at a much more controlled level he wont take his bank card with him and sets a limit to what he can afford to lose every day. He always says that to me nowā¦its not how much I can win but itās what I can afford to loseā¦he didnāt get any help with this and he lost everything, he just realised he wanted more from life and set himself a goal like wanting to save for a motorbike he had in the 70s and he is almost at the point so he can get it which I never thought would happen since i knew how bad he was. He has proven it can be done with will power and a dream that he can reach. I just wanted u to know that sometimes you have to walk through the fire to get out the other side to safety. Just give yourself time and some loving kindness and you will walk through it too xxx
Thanks for your kind words. I know I can do it, itās just going to be a battle to get where I want to be
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It will all be worth it. Who you will become on the other end will be worth it and people close to you will be very thankful
Iām doing this alone. Everyone I know either does one form of drugs or another and I destroyed my family. Thanks for your kind words though, it means a lot.
Except for meetings and medication, or a schedule like @Yoda-Stevie. So far your plan is just see what happens. Do you see what Iām getting at? If you were willing to do whatever it takes you would have already been to a meeting. You would have a disciplined schedule. You would be charging headfirst into sobriety.
Iām not ready for meeting people and listening or telling them my story. Maybe it is the right way to go but for me right now itās not. I need support from you guys not constantly being told to do it this way or that way. Not everyone is the same and everyone will have their ways. Iām into day 3 by just being on here. Please donāt keep pushing me to go to aa etc as that might just push me away from this site which at present is helping me more than you can imagine.
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Iām just pushing you to do anything bc nothing is not a plan and I really want to see you succeed.
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Iām not sure if you have a Refuge Recovery where youāre from but it could be very helpful. It is similar to AA but more grounded in spirituality and mindfulness instead of religion which was my problem with AA too. It has concrete things you could do, big focus on meditation, thereās a group reading and some sharing at the end of class. I found it more focused on finding your inner power as opposed to trusting a higher power. Just suggesting something different not saying you should do this. If itās not your vibe itās not your vibe. You do have to find what works for you but definitely here to support you on your journey!
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Something that may be helpful is therapy, if you have many addictions getting to the root of what you are looking to gain or escape by these addictions will be the most beneficial to you. This is likely where you will see and feel a big shift in healing yourself to break these addictive habits. Wish you well my friend! 
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Perhaps you could define āsupportā, at least as you see it, in this moment.
Iām seeing a lot of support here, but maybe you have a different idea of how this community can best help you.
Youāve made it clear that you arenāt ready to listen to other peopleās experiences in meetings, so I will assume that sharing my experiences wonāt be helpful either and in fact, sharing them might actually push you away. So I will cease this, immediately.
Another way we support each other here is to make helpful suggestions, present ideas that perhaps had yet to occur to the one seeking help. But youāve made it clear that whatās been helpful for so many, isnāt appealing to you. I will cease this immediately, as the last thing I want is to contribute to your staying right where you are.
So Iām out of ideas, strategies, approaches and wisdom to offer as youāve made it clear that you want to find your own way. All Iāve got left is encouragement, so Iāll offer it, and bid you fair winds and following seas on your voyage of self-discovery: You can do this if you want to. If itās important, we will find a way, not find an excuse. Good Luck. Godspeed. Peace.
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I totally understand what you are feeling, it can be overwhelming to have so many people come at you with suggestions when you are feeling scared and alongā¦but I promise you, this isnāt āpushing you to AAā. It is pushing you to stop and honestly think about what you are willing to do. Iāve seen LOTS of advice that has nothing to do with AA and you are dismissing it all. You have to do something if you really want to succeed. Iām a chronic relapser, I only want to help you avoid all the crap Iāve been through. So, donāt do AA. Thatās fine, its not for everyone. Try SMART. Try one on one therapy. Read some recovery books (my personal favourites are āDrinkā and āGutsā. Try yoga so you can get in touch with your body and learn to read what it is asking for. Go for a walk in the forest and marvel in the light that filters through the leaves. Buy an art pencil and some paper and draw anythingā¦even if it is just doodles. Get an adult colouring book. TRY ANYTHING.
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Also keep in mind that MANY people read these threads. Someone might see the title and think āI hate my life too, I wonder what people on here are saying.ā So while you might not be wanting to hear these suggestions they may very well be helpful to someone else.
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Iām not saying Iām totally against another way but for me right now Iām happy here. It just feels like the last few days everyone is saying go to aa, do this do that and itās not helping me, I feel like your trying to push me away sometimes even though Iām sure none of you are trying to do that. Iām taking everyoneās opinion on board and if I fail and canāt do it in a way that works for me then I may have to pluck up the courage to try a new path. Please donāt give up on me just because Iām saying no to different options.
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I know some of the options available to me and hopefully someone who reads this will take your advice. For me right now itās just a no go area for many reasons.
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You need to do what works for you right now, I get that. I donāt do AA either, tho it works for some. We need to remember that the world of recovery and science has grown since AA was founded in 1935. There are many more options for us now.
There are other modalities, not just AA/12 Step, such as SMART, Women for Sobriety, LifeRing, SOS, among others.
There are rehab facilities that take a variety of approaches to recovery.
There are medications such as Acamprosate, Naltrexone, Disulfiram and others.
Holistic therapiesā¦exercise, vitamin therapy, yoga and meditation, mindfullness, acupuncture, etc.
Apps like this one Sober Time (the best IMHO) or Sober Grid or reddit r/stopdrinking.
There are online groupsā¦She Recovers, Soberistas, Hip Sobriety, Hello Sunday Morning, Living Sober, The Naked Mind.
There are books and memoirs to give you inspiration and tools for your toolbox. The Naked Mind, The Big Book, Healing the Addicted Brain, Allen Carrās book and many more ā¦here is a good thread on books to readā¦ (Sobriety reading)
There are so many tools to help us in sobriety.
ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL.
We all need to follow our own path, which is rarely straight or straightforward. It is a journey some of us take on our own, some with community, some with online community. The point is to get healthy and sober and figure out how YOU stay sober and heal yourself.
Try whatever you have to to find the combination that heals your tired body, mind and soul.
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Sometimes, myself included, we tend to forget exactly what was going thru our own heads in the first few days when we were getting sober. The pushiness comes from us wanting to help.
Truth be told, stay hereā¦take the things that you find will help, leave the rest. As long as you are sober, then you are doing it the right way. In time, as you gain more sober days, then branching out will happen if its suppose to.
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