Hi, I’m new here. This might be a long post but if you have experience with cocaine abuse, PLEASE read this and give your best advice/opinion. I have been “hooked” on cocaine on and off for 4 months. Tried to get sober once during that time and only made it 3 weeks. I have been really bad about going through 1-2 grams a day lately. Last night while on a middle of the night bender, I sat down in front of my mirror to clean off some boogers and dry blood (gross, I know). I used my ring light to look up my nose and noticed what I THINK is a giant gaping hole in my septum. I can’t really tell if what I’m seeing is normal nose anatomy, or if the hole is just THAT big. I have noticed a recent increase in pain in my nose, but I thought that was pretty normal for how much I was doing. I often blow my nose and large skin chunks will come out, I always knew that couldn’t be a good thing, but I had no idea it could potentially be this bad.
After I realized this, I didn’t do a single bump more. It has now been 24 hours since I last did it. I have SEVERE health anxiety, and this scared me so bad to the point of sobriety. Just thinking that I may have permanently destroyed the structure of my nose for four months of a stupid “high” makes me sick to my stomach. I feel like because of this, I absolutely have to get sober. Obviously, it’s a good thing to do anyways, but feeling the pressure of not being able to do it for health reasons makes it even harder. I would’ve rather gotten sober on my own decision, when I felt like I actually wanted to. Because I know you can’t get sober until that’s what YOU want. I posted something vaguely similar to this in an addiction support group on Facebook, and the people were very rude and not helpful. One girl even mentioned that she saw an episode of Botched where a girl’s nose literally caves in because of a perforated septum due to cocaine abuse. My skin crawls just thinking about that happening to me. The cherry on top is, if I do need to seek medical care for this, I have to sit face-to-face with a doctor and tell them why I have a gaping hole in my septum. I also don’t have health insurance, so I would need families help to pay for the visits which would mean confessing to them that I have a drug problem that they are CLUELESS of.
Sorry, I know that I am kind of rambling at this point, I am just so scared, and also depressed knowing that I might not ever be able to do it again. If anybody else has been hooked on cocaine and has any tips, even if it doesn’t have to do with the problem at hand, please please please share. I will take any advice I can get on getting sober. I need to do this. This drug has basically ruined my life in just 4 short months. I’ve lost two jobs, spent so much money on it I can barely bills, missed out on things with my kids, lied to people, and so much more. I’m so broken. I have no idea what to do.
Welcome to the TS forum Kass.
My drug of choice is alcohol so I don’t have any experience to share with you on that subject.
But this is a great clean and sober forum to get and give support. I know for a fact you are not alone. As a matter of fact I believe just recently 2 or 3 people joined in on this forum with an addiction to coke.
Here’s one thread someone just started.
If you go up to the magnifying glass on the top right you can search cocaine or whatever you’re looking for.
This place has kept me sober and along with my gratitude practice are my 2 strongest tools in my recovery. Have a good read around. Join in when you’re comfortable.
I think if you put in the work and make recovery a success, it won’t matter the reason why you got sober. Facing the consequences of our bullshit is a big part of anyone’s recovery journey. It’s never pleasant but it’s important we learn to deal w life on life’s terms. Reality and all that.
Welcome to the Forum. Hope one of the other coke addicts will join you here shortly. Tho no matter your addiction, you are never alone on here.
Hey, I feel you about the cocaine addiction. I have been a daily user at some point, going through 1.5g to 3.5g every day for 2+ years.
I’m now a little over 2 weeks clean from it. The way how I did it was I needed to get to my rock bottom where I became sick and tired of being sick and tired, where I was so desperate to get clean that I wanted to be clean more than I wanted another line. To reach your rock bottom, you basically need to reflect on what happens every time you decide to use and why it happened.
I promise you, you will feel so much better when you get to the recovered side of your addiction. Even though I’m a little over 2 weeks clean, I do not ever wanna go back to cocaine. You gotta train yourself to think more about the long-term and remember when you have a craving, that it will pass.
Lookup SMART Recovery, they have a really great practical toolkit to help you stay sober. Get their handbook as well. It was pivotal in turning around my addiction. Join Cocaine Anonymous meetings every day as well and get a sponsor. Try to get an addiction therapist too if you can.
A key thing you need to understand is why you are using cocaine. Is it boredom, trauma, etc? Once you understand why you use cocaine you need to come up with a plan to avoid your triggers for using.
Also, get into the habit of reaching out here and to your other support people whenever you feel like using. Start checking in here daily. Check in daily with your Cocaine Anonymous sponsor as well.
Best of luck homie, I hope that helps. Feel free to reach out to me or anyone here whenever you need
I know you’re aiming for abstinence, which is really great. Abstinence is really the only way out of cocaine addiction in my opinion. Shit is so addictive that even a single line induces significant tolerance to the drug, even relative to other drugs from my understanding.
Lastly if you haven’t already, since you’re trying to abstain from using cocaine, flush the rest of your coke down the toilet if you haven’t already. It sucks to have to do that, but I PROMISE you after like 2 weeks of sobriety from it, you’ll feel so much better and will be thankful that you’re away from that awful drug
Cocaine leaves your body fully after 4 days from my understanding, but the dopamine receptors in your brain may need longer to heal. In a few days you’ll slowly start to feel so much better than a coke high could ever give you. Best of luck, you got this!!!
I used even more cocaine than you daily for longer and I still got sober. I know of addicts who used even more than me, like we’re talking 3.5g to 7g here and even they managed to achieve long-term sobriety still. I don’t even know how someone can possibly fit more than a ball up their nose, but yeah it’s 1000% possible to get sober from this drug if you’re really willing to do whatever it takes
Welcome Kass!
I’m an ex cocaine abuser and perforated my septum from long term use. The good news is you can stop any further damage if you commit to sobriety. The bad news is, it will continue to get worse if you don’t stop. Make a commitment today and get started on a journey to a better life.
Read that above passage over and over. Sometimes seeing it in black and white gives us the kickstart we need. Sounds like you’ve lost enough. Sobriety will give you all that back and then some.
Fentanyl is in everything these days. All it takes is one laced line and your kids will have one less parent. I’ve seen others post about losing loved ones to snorting one line that they never imagined would have Fentanyl in it. I don’t care how well you know your dealer, they’re all in this game for money and money only. Don’t be another casualty, quit now.
Definitely I agree with the fentanyl part. I’ve actually encountered fentanyl in my cocaine while I was in active addiction before. The only reason why I’m not dead is because I had this gut feeling to test it. I think God genuinely saved my life that day. You never know what’s in your drugs nowadays. Definitely abstain from using as hard as you can @MichelK
on the top right you can search cocaine or whatever you’re looking for.
