My favorite place to drink is at home, alone. I can’t avoid being home so how do I shake this!?!?! I can’t seem to get back on track! I just came off of a 332 day streak and for the past few months I’ve fallen back into my old ways. It’s like every other day I swear to myself that “TODAY IS THE DAY” my LAST day of drinking! I get so pumped up about being sober, make all these plans and ways to avoid drinking. Gonna get healthy, wake up early, go to bed early, avoid driving past the liquor store, make all the to-do lists to keep busy at home. I spend 1day not drinking and feel great! That’s when the mind falls off track. I drink when I’m happy. That rush I get when I think about having a buzz ruins everything!!! Then I get wasted and blackout then spend the next day on damage control, struggling thru the day swearing that “THAT WAS MY LAST DAY!!!” then the vicious cycle starts all over again.
I tried AA and it’s not for me. I spend most of my time here reading. It doesn’t seem to matter how many stories I read on here, or books I read, or plans I try to make… I can’t get back on track. What do I do! I need help. Do I get a sponsor? I need to be held accountable, or maybe I need someone to literally tell me to not drink. I don’t know… I just know that I can’t do this alone.
I think you have to do it alone. Maybe with some support but ultimately it’s you alone calling the shots (so to speak). There’s always going to be alone time so you can’t pin a bad choice on someone else. If you think you need to find a sponsor look in a mirror. That’s the only one that can possibly do this.
You definitely don’t have to do it alone. An alcoholic alone is in bad company. Reach out her. Find whatever support groups are available and make new friends. Even if you don’t like the program of AA, it’s still a great place to meet like minded people.
I’m honestly surprised that someone would tell you to do this alone. Our disease wants isolated, alone and afraid. There’s power in numbers. The more recovery you surround yourself with the easier it gets.
Through my experience i woudnt try to go alone , meetings make it easier AA or smart you need support and if you go to AA you can get a sponsor who will guide you sometimes its hard to get of that hamster wheel wish you well
Alone isn’t the answer. That’s why we’re all here, right? To support each other. AA, SOS, SMART, WFS, Refuge, IOP, CBT - the options are multitudinous. But find support. I do SOS, SMART, CBT, and a variety of other things. Isolation and drinking at home got me to this app. Time to try something different to change my life for the better. You can do this. We support you.
If you need some one to tell u not to drink reach out to someone u know and knows your situations s if u can’t DONT DRINK … occupy your mind go for a walk go to the mall if being by yourself is the Trigger go to a crowded place
AA isn’t for me either, I was sober for 4 and a half months and now I’m in a rut as well, my parents want me to move back home, but i worked so hard for everything i earned, idk what advice to give you but to keep trying and reach out, it’s the being alone that causes me to drink, I starting just being outside and walking, so far it has helped
Sounds like you do the same thing I do. I use when I’m done with the day, as a reward for all my hard work. I deserve it, right? Well maybe that’s not what you’re thinking, but maybe it is. What are you thinking when you decide to drink? How does that self talk sound? Do you drink when you’re happy because you don’t think you should be happy or because it might make you happier? The addict mind is a terrible place to be alone. Call a friend, reach out here: some people may be willing to give you their # so you can call or text. Isolation is the breeding ground for addictive behavior. Keep trying! We are here for you!
I hear it suggested (and often forget about it) and have never been able to find the Oxford aligned or other non-commercial houses when I have looked for others. Most of the people I know that did it, did it in a rehab sponsored one or the rehab funneled people into certain other local ones.
Can I ask how did you do your first 332 days sober? Did you work any type of a program? I know AA didnt work for you but there are many more and you don’t have to do this alone. We all need a helping hand at times! Especially when we are drowning. Those that have been in our shoes can offer wisdom I never could have come up with on my own. For me personally, I also needed to connect back to my true self to really make these life changes stick and do the soul work to keep me there. Self love is a powerful thing! When I truly love myself and connect to me, I have no craving for alcohol because I know it doesn’t serve me. When things suck is when I struggle at times but now it’s getting easier. I started by saying one nice thing about myself every day as I journaled. It was actually hard to do! But the longer I do it, the more I feel it. And the less I want to put anything in my body that’s going to poision me. Just something that has helped me that I wanted to share. Hugs! Please keep reaching out here, we are here for you.
So don’t try to do it alone. You’ve tried meetings, but they “aren’t for you”. Ask yourself “why?”. Is it that you feel uncomfortable in a group setting?
In order to change, one must become comfortable with being uncomfortable. All growth happens outside of your comfort zone. I haven’t tried a meeting yet, as what I am doing is working, for the moment. However, I am committed to going, should what I am doing fail.
Is it possible to do it alone? Yes, if you are obsessive about self-discipline, and are stubborn as hell. I don’t go to meetings, but I am not alone. I am very active here. I refuse to lurk. I have my wife and I have an accountability partner, a friend who loves me enough to get in my face, and call me out when I need it. So I, and insanely self-disciplined person, am not doing this alone. I can’t.
From the website, thanks for the recommendation, it was inspiring:
Sober is the new black. More and more of us are waking up to the reality that drinking is not sexy or sophisticated or adult. It is the exact opposite of those things. Drinking makes us ugly, kills our self-confidence, sucks our time/money/energy, ruins our health, works against every single goal we have for ourselves, and keeps us stuck and stunted. By just trying on sobriety or questioning our drink-centric culture, you are profoundly ahead of the pack.
I drank alone too. I drank once my children were in bed. I drank in the bathroom when my husband wasn’t looking. The secrecy and the lies were killing me.
I could not stop by myself. Oh, how I tried… and tried…and tried. I read the self help books, I tried every moderation method. It didn’t work. This is what did:
I got rid of every drop of booze in my house.
I found this forum, and I post regularly.
Despite not wanting to go, I found AA. I attend regularly.
I got a sponsor. I work the steps. I’m finally dealing with why I was drinking.
I have a bunch of sober friends’ numbers in my phone. If I’m having a bad day or if I feel like I want a drink, I call someone. I talk it out.
I keep a letter to myself in my purse, reminding myself why I cannot drink. I read it often.
I make sure to spend time outside every day.
I get exercise every day.
I stopped trying to change the innate nature of who I am. I’m an introvert. I hate big gatherings. I’m finally just fine with that.
I try to help others who share these struggles.
I remind myself, on a daily basis, all I have to be grateful for.
332 days is a heck of a long stretch. What changed for you? In any case, I’m glad you reached out here. Please let us know how you are doing!️
In Syracuse we also have long term supports living houses through our main rehab agency. We also have smaller ones through other programs that are for up to a few years or more.
No offense, maybe for a select few that works. Basic psychology would tell you that this would more than likely not work. One of the most common traits of successful sobriety is having a network. If in your path that works great! But I would be careful handing out that advice without knowing a person’s history.
So what do you think @Kmills888 you’ve heard some really great advice here. Anything hit home? I wanted to let you know, that I’ve thought about you all day. I know exactly what it feels like to be you right now…I also know exactly what it feels like to be me right now & because of that… I’ll do whatever I can to help you. Did you drink today? ️
I am beyond grateful for everyone’s responses today, you all played such a strong role in helping me stay sober today. This topic will be my place I go to when I’m feeling weak. It’s just really hard when home is my drinking grounds, get buzzing and start cleaning the house or organizing. Getting out of that thought process is probably my biggest battle. One thing suggested today was a pretty cool link, hipsobriety… that’s a very good read!!! Considering seeing a therapist too.
When I had quit the last time for 332 days, it took me forever to finally get sobriety to stick. Years of failed attempts but I never gave up. And I guess I kinda figured well, I was able to quit last time so I’ll have a drink and just quit again because I know I can. Ya, that’s not how it works lol. I don’t have some rock bottom story or anything major, and I usually drink when I’m happy… just never ends happy. I don’t stress drink, or have bad days that needs to be forgotten so being in a good mood makes me want one. It’s a bastard of a feeling!!! But I’m not giving up and today with this topic and everyone’s support, it has given me this little bounce in my step that I needed.
100 % cannot do this alone. Nope. So thank you so very much to everyone that was here for me!!! You all may have just saved me from this vicious nosedive.
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