Hi @Thirdmonkey
That resonates a lot. I need to come to that realization, it’s hard to let people go but sure, sobriety first!
They are real friends, I just think they have issues with the whole sobriety idea. When we speak about my history they are full of understanding and compassion, very supportive. And when we are in a party environment their own drinking brings them to forget about how important that is to me. I want to be strong on my position even though they tend to have this paradoxes. Yep I am taking a break from the triggers and offer other types of meetings with them in daytime with activities for a change. thanks @SoberGuyUSA
I am on day 7 and going to a house party to see my girlfriends tonight. They’ll be drinking alcohol and I am bribing a bottle of sparkling juice for me. I’ll pour it into a champagne glass and everybody’s happy. I could have said no to the party but chances I’ll be bored and tempted to drink are higher if I sit home alone on my day off. This could be a solution for those situations when you can’t avoid going. It is for me.
Definitely set some very strong BOUNDRIES.
When I got sober, I realized my friends were just drinking buddies. I had some deeper, emotional connection with some, but at its core, they were still drinking buds. I ended up getting new friends, sober friends.
I still send the occasional “what’s up?” Or happy birthday text, but I spend my time with sober friends now and honestly, I’ve no regrets; I’m not missing anything of value.
As Jim Rohn would say, “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”.
Welcome Julyet! I have no wisdom to offer that someone else hasn’t already said better than I could. Stay strong and protect your sobriety.
Oh that was really interesting, it feels good to read about options and how people can deal with these situations! Thank you @Lisa07
I understand what you mean perfectly! Probably my mind insn’t clear enough for me to understand if they were drinking buddies or not… I do want to find sober friends, that would be so nice!
I live in France and it seems here it is a national sport to drink all the time, sober culture and meetings are really not popular and as diverse as in UK or US. I definitely want to find how to connect with local sober people, that’s my next mission. Thanks so much for your advices @HoofHearted
Oh yeah I can relate to that as well @sandfish. I used to feel like you do. Few months of sobriety and a lot of work on myself in the past have helped me to implant the new habit to never have drinks at home, I feel safe there now, my trigger is more in the outside world but I do remember the feeling. Good luck for your party, the trick of the soft drink in a pretty glass seems super good! I wish you the best
I had the exact same problem.
I suggest reading Allen Carr easy way.
Also This Naked Mind by Annie Grace.
They both go into massive details about situations like this and they free you from the torture of feeling like your missing out or social situations. I feel like I could hang around someone drinking all day and not want to touch a drop of poison again.
Get them on audio book you’ll be finished in 8 hrs.
Right! I actually have the Allen Carr easy way, such a good idea to read it again! Thanks @Bradleyduggan86
Oh I’m french too, my friends drink alcohol like water of course, and the worst part is that my parents and brother are winemakers, so next time tell yourself it could be worse
Anyway, stay strong, tell them, if they love you they won’t tease you, and in the end they’ll get used to it.
Remember it’s not your problem that someone wants to drink poison.
If they were hurting their bodies with heroin, cocain or drinking petrol and they were trying to convince you to join in would you?
People want to see you do well in life but not as well as them.
Hi @Bradleyduggan86 , thanks! Right, when you put other poison names instead of alcohol the choice seems so clear
Well, could be they don’t want me to do that great but I’m having a hard time picturing that. That would be so terrible in fact
Be strong, it’s not worth picking up again,and again and again…
Personally, I had had enough of alcohol and stayed away from friends who drink for over 2 months, when i did finally meet up with a friend I had a bottle of coke as a treat , had some food with them,watched them open red wine bottle after red wine, and then listen to them while they said they wished they could stop drinking for 2 months,so I just carried the message by carrying myself through the night sober and absolutely fine with life and went to bed pleasantly with no hangover in the morning
The worst part is to listen to their drunk talk at the end of parties. Even if in a way, it helped me to stay away from booze. I was like “wut wut, nobody cares about that man, and you won’t even remember it tomorrow anyway”