Today is 11 years since my dad passed from alcohol related issues. As I’ve been thinking more about him lately, I am also restarting my own sobriety journey. Ive started and stopped a thousand times, but i think before I truly wasn’t ready. Now I’m willing to go to meetings, online to start, and I’m ready to tell those close to me.
Beyond that though, how can i set myself up for success? I do not want to live the way I have been anymore.
This is what i did when i started out…
I took time off work with ‘depresssion’
I came off all social media
Apart from work i was honest with every single person close to me about what was going on
For the first week my mother had my car key and my best friend controlled my money
I joined this site and came on here every single day, talked and read as much as i could
After a week i had decided that was it and it was my responsibility and mine only wether i drank or not so i got back my car keys and money
I read allen cars easy way to quit drinking which changed my minset about drinking forever
With the help of people on here i made a plan to not be around any kind of drinking for at least 3 months, i didnt keep it in the house, kept away from anywhere that sold alcohol socially and even kept away from the booze aisle in the supermarket
After 3 months and even now im still only around drinking if its with close family and or supportive friends
I watched the Stutz documentary on Netflix
I study positive psychology and work on my self esteem daily
Il be on this journey for the rest of my life, ive accepted that i can never go back to being a normal drinker, if i have 1 drink it will open up the flood gates, luckily i can control not having that first one and for that i am truly grateful
Im almost 14 months sober now, wish you well on your journey 
I am sorry about your Dad. 
I am sharing a lengthy post on my process. I tried for years to quit…I think everything I learned along the way helped a lot. Staying active here and reading threads was very helpful for me. Hope you find some of it useful for your journey.
Sorry for your loss. The death of a parent is very difficult. I continued drinking and drugging as a way to cope. Now that I’m sober, I know I wasn’t coping at all and never grieved the loss of both of my parents properly. Thankfully, I’ve been able to do so in sobriety.
For me, i came to the conclusion that trying to do this on my own wasn’t working. I finally had to surrender and ask for help. I went to an intensive outpatient program followed by AA. I have to put the same effort into my sobriety as I did into drinking and drugging. That means every single day I do something recovery related. Putting the hard work in has paid off tenfold.
Here’s a link with tips from some of our long time forum members.
Definitely find yourself the ‘right’ people. My biggest struggle was not allowing the same people i normally attract (active users and enablers) back into my life. Being an empath makes that so easy. Find people that are on the same road as you, that can lift you up and be there for you when you feel yourself slipping. Mostly, remember to breathe. We are only human and things are constantly going to come up. Take a deep breath and remember who and what you are doing this for.
Hi Jen,
What I did for my recovery? I made my own “sober plan”. A practical list with things to do and not do and a kind of deadline. Those tips and tricks I found here by reading ore in the many books I’ve read and recovery podcast I’ve listened. All the time I waisted on drinking I put in my recovery. Here are some things from my list:
Get rid of all the alcohol in my house
Tell my spouse about my sober decision
Avoid liquor store and the alcohol section in the supermarket
Fill my fridge with healthy foods and drinks
Buy sweets as well to use as replacement for when craving kick in
Getting myself a hobby to fill in the extra time
Avoid alcohol related events, friends, places the first 3 months of my recovery
Come here on this app every day to check in sober and reflect my day and talking to others.
Ask for help if needed, never crave alone.
As a extra motivation I said to myself this:
If you aren’t sober after 1 year of trying to beat this addiction by yourself you have to go and find help. You have to go to see doctor ore visit AA.
I walked a lot in my recovery, I still do. I think it keeps me grounded and not so much “stucked in my head”.
I’m 5 years sober and still use my list if needed.
Give it your all, you can do it too! 
You have some great advice here. I personally needed a daily plan in the early days. I started each day with some sobriety activity, and made sure I had things to do during my danger time. I kept close to the forum, cheering on others and being cheered on myself. I really focused on the positive changes I was making, using my non-drunk or hungover time to do esteemable acts, which built my self-esteem, which was on the floor after years of letting myself and my family down. I also unabashedly used the money I saved for things for myself, for the first few months anyway.
Early sobriety get a good network round you you need a good foundation and plenty of phone numbers if going to meetings get a sponsor ,put the work in get results wish you well
Seek outside support for your sobriety on a regular basis.
I found that with sobriety (as is much of life), you get out what you put in. If you put in the work, you will be sober. If you build a sober network and invest in that network, you will be sober. If you work to understand addiction and it’s role in your life, you will be sober. If you work to understand your traumas and work to healing them, you will be sober. If you work towards acceptance of who you are, you will be sober.
Do all these things and you will be sober. Essentially, work a program and you will be sober.
I am only 12 days into my sobriety so I probably don’t have a lot of words of wisdom but I will share what has worked for me.
Switching from booze to buying alcohol free wine/cider. - I know many would be against this, but it has helped curb my cravings each evening. I find after 2 glasses I switch to tea.
Online AA meetings via zoom. I have been attending at least one per day. Yesterday I went to 2.
This forum. I have started my own daily thread to keep myself accountable and I’ve joined in many discussions and I am offering as much support to others as I can.
Good Luxk in your journey. You’ve got this!
@jchavez3 you started very well, don’t get tired of pursue Recovery, I guess is a lifelong journey
Hey what are the 5 stages of change or where can I read about this. I’m fascinated and maybe it will help me understand myself better…
Thanks 
my favorite emoji when I’m feeling a bit embarrassed… for some reason I feel like I should have known that …