Iām sorry about Odin. I too lost a very good friend of 14 years on July 23, 2021. We HAD to put her down. Sheās our 1st baby as kids are 7 and 4. She went through the start of our life with us and never wavered.
Congrats on sobriety!! Everyone has mistakes, lord knows I have more than one can count!
Hang in there please. We do recover!!
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Thanks, Becky. I am really sorry to hear about your loss too! 
Yes, Odin was with us for 10yrs and he was such a loving, beautiful dog that helped me through so much. My heart aches that he is no longer here.
Thank you for the congrats too. I have 24 days since that last drink now and Iām so glad to be building up the days once again 
How is your journey in recovery going? What do you enjoy most about sober life? What helps keep you sober?
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I enjoy being present in my life!
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Iām writing this to reaffirm to myself that alcohol has no place in my life for it is only a guise that lures you in to a false sense of fun and self-confidence, when in fact it will render lost any reverence for life or self-worth. Alcohol delivers the direct opposite of its āassuranceā because it is a poison. Alcohol isnāt meant for the human body, it drains us mentally, physically and spiritually. It drags us down vibrationally and has you acting with fabricated authenticity / truthfulness. In order to be my best self, my most courageous self, I need to live life as I am - without reliance on a substance like alcohol that simply destroys whatās sacred. My best life, a legitimate lifeā¦ my bona fide self come without the dependence on alcohol. It happens when I choose to brave the wilderness and step out into my life and boldly be me, flaws and all and accept that this is who I am, and that is okay. I donāt need to hide, numb or run. I am human, I am not perfect, but I am here, vulnerable and ready to bravely live life to the fullest and Iāll love it and enjoy it best I can.
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Youāre absolutely right E. Thank you!
Thatās your wisdom speaking, thatās your strength and your truth. You are the mountain: strong, stable, grounded in the face of any storm.
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Losing a good buddy or family member like Odin can really knock the pins out from under you. I was 18 months sober when our best dog ever died at the age of 15. When I found his body on the lawn, I became aware of something like his soul hovering above the treeline at the back of the property. I was granted another spiritual insight that night. As good a dog as he was, his best act, for me, was his last - letting me see how the energy of a soul leaves a body and returns to the Source.
You can learn from your relapse without shaming yourself for it. I love that you are back, and badder than ever!
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This list is just awesome, Sassyrocks. Definitely a good reference source for any of us to go to whenever we are facing the temptation of picking up again. Thank you for sharing this.
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Donāt beat yourself up, itās no worse than what the alcohol makes you feel like. Just take the steps to move forward and just start today. Period donāt drag yourself down like you are some horrible person. The time you had isnāt āgoneā YOU have that time and clarity to help you right now at this very moment. Donāt drag it around with you like a shame. Hold your head up. Iām sure you regret it, but now you have an experience you can share with others and a reminder for yourself. Stay strong speak positive into yourself.
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Aw, what a handsome boy Odin was! I like his markings. So sorry for your loss. 
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Thank you he was an AMAZING dog!! So beautiful, inside and out. I feel blessed that he graced my life 
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So sorry for your loss. Odin looks like a big teddy bear. Love his beautiful brindle coloring.
Iāve found dealing with grief is my biggest challenge in sobriety. Sending you big hugs 
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Thanks Lisa I wish life wasnāt so hard.
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I struggle, sometimes, when I hear people I know talk about addiction or people with addictions or alcoholism. The comments are often ignorant and really lacking an understanding or any compassion or empathy. I know itās hard for people to really know or understand what addiction or alcoholism are like if they havenāt lived through it or experienced themselves, but their judgement and remarks can be soo limited, unjust, naive and distorted. They have NO idea what theyāre even saying or talking about. And itās frustrating to hear. People (not suffering the pains of alcoholism or addiction) I hear talk as if it was a well thought out plan by a person to become dependent on a substance; that the decision was made without ārealā thought or consideration of the consequences - as if it was their goal to be a user or an alcoholic despite āknowing better.ā What they donāt understand - they donāt see or hear - is the pain thatās been there causing a deep disconnect and suffering; it is this that makes a numbing substance so appealing, and by the time realisation has set in that the alcohol or drugs are not helping theyāre harming - by then itās usually too late. Addiction is set in. The road to recovery becomes long and arduous (but worth it)! And, people who donāt care to learn or understand cannot grasp this. They do not know of the incredible courage and strength and hard work it takes a person suffering with alcoholism or addiction to choose to get better and live their life in recovery.
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Very well said, no the donāt understand and therefore I wonder why they would even comment at all 
Thatās why my AA and TLC groups are so crucial to me. There are a lot of people out there who do understand and hold others struggling with compassion and understanding.
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You admitted what you did. You admitted that you regretted it. Youāve seen that nothing has changed in your ability to handle alcohol.
(The thought crossed my mind, āIāve been sober for x years. I have it under control. I can ride The Dragon.ā The problem is I have work on being sober every day. The Dragon has nothing to do but sit and wait. I canāt ride him. He and I both know it. If I try, heāll eat me and everything I love.)
Now you start over at Day One. Be Honest with yourself. Donāt beat yourself up, the World is happy to do that for you, but be honest.
I can read your regret and self loathing. You have 24 hours to do that. After that you start grinding again. We canāt wallow bc wallowing leads us back to drinking.
Youāve done 2.5, the new grind is 2.5 plus one day.
Best,
Chandler
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Thanks Chandler, I appreciate that. Definitely trying not to beat myself up too much; just learn from it and move forward, further into sober life with positivity and courage to live my best life, be confident in who I am and to love and respect myself.
I wish you well too.
Cheers! 
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I felt this so deeply reading your words. Itās hard to hear these hurtful words. Especially when they come out of the mouth of a loved one, family or life-long friend. It cuts to the bone.
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I know, very hard to hear 
i just try to listen and understand why it is they think or feel this way and try to learn something new or accept that people have different understandings and experiences. Itās so hard though. Sometimes a real lack of intellect and/or discernment from others 
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I have no idea how i missed this but Iām glad youāre back. Thank you for this post and this thread it will serve everyone well.
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Thanks Dan, I appreciate that. And if my lapse helps others than at least something good came of it! Still wish it hadnāt happened though, but here I am. Learning and growing. Strengthening my resolve, and choosing sobriety again today 
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