You screwed up, you’re not a screw up. Time to get back at it, Be encouraged friend
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This scares me 
Did you do AA and stop doing meetings?
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Hi Darren,
I went to AA meetings but didn’t connect with it. The main stuff I used:
- SMART RECOVERY tools
- this app
- lots of media including books and YouTube content
- mindfulness and meditation
-my faith and attending church - I focused on my health in a big way
- I started new hobbies the main one being American style smoking and BBQ
( family prefer this hobby to my old one being a binge drinking alcoholic arsehole 
)
Ultimately mate I’ve stopped using most of these tools that worked for me. I let the combative angry side of me that lives in his own head come out again. Never really dealt with the stress of the last 12 months and was not mindful of my mental health which is massively connected.
For a time I started having weak shandys telling myself it was fine and it was for about 6 months but then the lines were blurred. On Friday I went to see a Smyths tribute band with my cousin and friends. Truth be told I felt tense the moment I walked in. I started on the shandys then my cousin “accidentally” got me a proper beer. I said one will be fine. Then I went to the bar and bought myself a full larger in the round. The next round someo got rum and cokes and that was me fucking doomed!
They all went home about 1am and I was left out on my own and didn’t get in until 8 am completely broken soul and body
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Seems like you knew where you went wrong then mate! Back on track and hopefully your Mrs will learn to forgive. It takes such a long time to build that trust back up
Moral of the story- NEVER let anybody buy you a drink, I never do just in case!
Chin up and moving forwards 
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That’s it pal. Tbh my wife’s not that bad. I think she genuinely knows I have no intention of starting to drink again.
We have had a good chat and I’ve said that I knew my head wasn’t in a good place and did express bit a few times but it didn’t make it past the rest of the noise going on.
But ye mate forward ye go. Wish I never needed that slip to reset myself but that’s it I’m looking vat it as a blessing
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Oh no cant imagine how you feel but 3 years is a fantastic goal i cant even do 3days stay strong my friend 
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I felt miserable but I feel very positive now Juliet thanks.
Why can you not mange 3 days? What tools do you use to stay sober?
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Well last Saturday morning at this time I was lied in bed completely broken in mind and spirit.
A week on and I feel much better mentally. I thank God that he cloaked me in his love to keep me safe from myself and others.
Im thankful for this lesson and I feel blessed.
I’d like to thank everyone for being with me this week in this community, the support that strangers give you on this site from around the world is invaluable.
God bless you all and thank you 
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One foot in front of the other.
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Thanks for sharing your story, mate. I’ve hit 60 days sober today, and all day long the dark energy has tried to make me fall off the wagon. Your experience brings me vigilance and makes me a bit more humble because without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all. 
" There are many situations which arise out of the phenomenon of craving which causes men to make the supreme sacrifice rather than continue to fight. " - BB The Doctor’s Opinion
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@Quinny251 @Mno @Dazercat @Girlinterrupted @Vsloan Thank you all for your posts. Quinny251 we have all slipped up. We reset and try again ODAAT. That is all we can do. I thought too I had this kicked so many times before. This is my 3rd attempt at being sober. I just passed 100 days. Last time I went 6 months before I relapsed. This time I know I can’t dabble. I will never be able to handle alcohol. Like so many others I thought I was cured and could manage it. That was a lie. Your story and everyone else is helping so many of us. Keep up with the sharing and comments y’all. You have helped so many and I am so lucky to have found this forum. It gives me strength. Quinny251 you got this too. It is just another day ODAAT. Don’t dwell on what was, focus on today and move forward. Good luck to all.
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I’m glad your feeling better!
You owned it and did the work to change it.
It so easy to lose focus on recovery.
We get sober to take our life back. Then life can get so busy that we forget why we got it back.
AA describes it as a daily reprieve.
Its easy to get busy and go days without reminding myself all the reasons why alcohol is not in my best interests.
The pain goes away. The bad memories get further behind me.
The desire to drink like a normal person is still there lurking, waiting for the opportunity.
It only takes a moment to take a drink.
You caught it before it took everything back. I think that’s awesome! 
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It’s that survival technique humans have to be selective about the past history of pain and suffering.
I use a SMART RECOVERY tool to remind me of the pain alcohol has caused and would cause me.
The thing is, for many not every experience and memory with booze is bad so I do a cost benefit analysis. The benefit of no booze always wins 
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That’s the thing about sharing experiences. It helps reminds us.
I’m sure my post after my slip helped some people focus on their sobriety. I know that reading posts on this has helped me over my sobriety.
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You took 1095 steps forward and one step backward. Just keep moving forward and you will keep progressing. YOU ARE STILL SOBER! 1/1095th of the past three years you were not, but the huge majority of that time you were, and the lesson learned from that one step back will stay with you and carry you through the future. You got this! And we have your back!
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Dust off and start again. Nothing you can do about the past except learn from it. Its not that bad. It may be silent but your still in the bed not the couch or worse.
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31 days now and feeling great.
Have to look at a single slip like that for what it was, a lesson!
Why it happened and what needs to be addressed.
What I’ve noticed I have to keep in mind is that little tricking voice saying “you can have a slip every now and again and relieve the stress!” 
Fuck that!
Strangest thing this mental battle with your own mind
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“eventually it will take all of it from me” truth well said.
It is mostly a mind game with yourself. Recognizing that within myself has been a huge strength for me staying focused on my recovery.
It’s always there lurking.
Sometimes it’s obvious, other times it’s subtle. Good days, bad days. It doesn’t matter. My alcoholic thinking is always looking for a way to trick me.
One month! Awesome! Congrats!
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Havnt been to a Smart meeting dont really know how they work or have a program .but its just a blip so get back on that horse wish you well
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