Omg girl. This is my fav post of this year. This is also the first time I see a woman actually take the advice given to her in this kinda situation. And it happens regularly that there is this kinda cry for help on here and the advice always sounds similar.
I have massive respect for the honesty and the respect you are showing yourself. Wow. Seriously that’s a big fucking win for you and such a step forward.
I hope you can take this momentum and go with it. Turn it into change, energy, healing and love for yourself.
You’ve done well by you. Thanks for being an example.
It was long over due. And being sober just cleared my mind. I think I drank so much to ease the pain and feel some type of happiness. I then started to feel unattractive, worthless and like I deserved it all and just got stuck.
Thank you so much! All this time I thought it was in my head maybe I was needy or being a whiny baby. But everyone; my friends, this community, therapist and his mom told me what he was doing isn’t right.
Proud of you!! This is the first step in teaching him (or whoever in the future) how to treat you. And please listen to this: you and your kids deserve love and respect.
I followed this thread and hoped you’d make the best choice for you and you have so far. That’s HUGE! Be stoked for yourself. But also don’t lose sight. You have time to worry about yourself instead of him now, read up on boundaries, go to therapy if it’s accessible, and pleaseee look yourself in the mirror every day and remind yourself that you need and deserve love and respect.
Courage my friend, this things happen and we look for a greater support and stability. I found it in God or if you prefer call Him, Higher Power. He never let me down.
I let down others and others let me down.
Courage, Courage…!!! Emotional pain is so hard
My heart goes to you, your story follow up gives me strength today right when I need it as I’m struggling a lot with my own emotions right now.
Send you good vibes for a good life with healthy relationships
Girl, cut of that tumor! That relationship is eating you up inside and you are were self medicating from the injury you have. Cut it off, go to therapy to find your self and grow into the unique goddess you are. Once you find yourself, he won’t trigger you ever again!
Thanks for sharing and doing the next right thing for yourself and not drinking. For me i was the same way with family, friends and gfs and always wondered why the ppl close to me and i loves was the one i felt hurting me the most. I didn’t feel i was a people pleaser at the tome just tbought i was accepting them b/c of who they was and why i could forgive them so easily n accept them back in my life.Today being a part of this fellowship and program i realized i was just that a PEOPLE PLEASER and thst is why accepted what they did n forgave so easy. Today am no longer that person and i can forgive to move on but i do not have to accept them back in my life. For me i have learned some ppl you just have to learn to love tjrm from afar. Wishing you the best on your journey #wedorecover 08-18-18 here
You hit the nail on the head without any professional help and being open to understand your personality disorder nothing will change. Just seperating and doing your own thing doesnt work and never will. I know before i understood what disorder i suffered from i thought i was normal but that was far from the truth. Without knowing what u suffer from u dont know what habits u have to fix. Or how your brain works to see what needs fixing. It took actural therapy from a professional to understand it and the healthy ways to cope when i would have episodes. The thing with narcissist is they dont see a problem and think they dont need any help. They many times believe the lies and exhagerated persona they put off. They have this ego to protect but under it all they are a fragile shell . They thrive off attention and supply. Reading this thread all i see is a disaster and a merry go round thats never gonna stop til someone gets off the ride or gets real help. We also have to be careful with slinging the word narcissist around as only 5% actually have it. It can have lapping in other disorders like bi polar(mania) or BPD. This is why a professional is important for diagnosis
I see a psychologist. Space is exactly what we needed. We aren’t doing our “own thing” just taking a little space to breath and think. And it actually helped this is the first time he has ever taken accountability and we BOTH making changes on how we treat one another. He’s finally opened up that in his head he feels he’s in competition with me. But my accomplishments are his as well. Who cares who makes more money. So that’s something he’s going to work on and I’ll do what I can to get him to see that. He’s also dealing with anger management. I have bipolar depression so I can be very emotional at times. We know the issues we have and are working through that. He is my world and as long as we keep this open communication we can help each other get to a better place.
Also my psychologist is a professional and doesn’t agree with this app nor AA. Because he said most like to project their experience towards others make you out to be a failure like you’re doing something wrong and get judged. I will not lie some have been really helpful but I think it’s time I move on and take a break from here as well. Some people can be aggressive. I’ve had many people message me on how they were scared to post because how crucial some can be this isn’t always an open space and that’s sad.
Best wishes to you. This place can be useful but only if you remember that this is true
Remember that everyone here is in, or attempting recovery and most people try their best to help. I’m not a fan of any professional against recovery groups but that is just my opinion… I’ve always been a fan of take what’s useful and leave the rest. Once again, best wishes to you and he.
Wishing you all the best. You do you and you take care of you. And I’m with what Dan is saying. Over here it’s a bunch of folks trying to recover. IMO it’s more about the togetherness than what exactly is said. Advice is a form of nostalgia.
I’m really happy for you! This is great news and a big step towards working through any problems that may come up in the future. This is amazing ground work
I’m sorry if you felt attacked or like your partner was being attacked. What was said (at least by myself, and I hope others) was only said out of concern for you and your well-being. If a break form this is what is needed, then by all means, take a break. But just remember we are here if you need us. Sending love
