Hi, I’m 68 years old, have tried to quit drinking several times over the past five years. I need a one to one pen pal to whom I can be accountable. Anyone out there wiling?
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Why have a one to one when you can have the wisdom from many on here?
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Welcome Pattycakes! I am 62 now, finally got sober at 56 after a lifetime. I know it is challenging. Lots of good info and support here. Keep visiting and reading!! Glad you are here. 
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Good point. Thank you. Will do more on this site, I just thought one to one accountability and advice would help. But I realize that is asking a lot from one person, so I’ll take advice from the many
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Thanks, any advice is appreciated.
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This site has some amazing people on it i just think you woud benefit from the wisdom of many…we are all different so then maybe you could work out what is best for you from that… big warm welcome from me Patricia im Kelly and im glad to have you here with us, what have you tried so far to get sober?
I can tell you what i did to get sober…
I took time off work with ‘depresssion’
Apart from work i was honest with every single person close to me about what was going on
For the first week my mother had my car key and my best friend controlled my money
I came on here every single day, talked and read as much as i could
After a week i had decided that was it and it was my responsibility and mine only wether i drank or not so i got back my car keys and money
I read allen cars easy way to quit drinking which changed my minset about drinking forever
With the help of people on here i made a plan to not be around any kind of drinking for at least 3 months, i didnt keep it in the house, kept away from anywhere that sold alcohol socially and even kept away from the booze aisle in the supermarket
After 3 months and even now im still only around drinking if its with close family and or supportive friends
I watched the Stutz documentary on Netflix
I study positive psychology and work on my self esteem daily
Il be on this journey for the rest of my life, ive accepted that i can never go back to being a normal drinker, if i have 1 drink it will open up the flood gates, luckily i can control not having that first one and for that i am truly grateful, i wish you well on your journey xx
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Welcome to TS.
A lot of people check-in in the main checkin thread for a little daily update.
Checking in daily to maintain focus #55
You’ll get some feedback there and get to know some people. It will take some time.
A little more quiet but great is the gratitude thread.
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Thank you for sharing. I first
St quit in 2016 for 4 months on the advice of a therapist, as my doctor out me on Prozac for depression. But I took up drinking again after that period. Tried moderation management with varying semi success. Therapist said honking about drinking and planning when to drink, how much, etc was just part of addiction. So I tried to quit for good . By the. It was around 2018. I tried a Buddhist group called refuge recovery, but the. The leader of my local chapter relapsed and the group fell apart. I struggled on trying to stay sober since then. Good for several months and then some stress or other derails me. In 2019 I saw a psychiatrist who said I didn’t need medication for depression, she said my problem was alcohol use disorder… so I quit the prozac. I saw an AODA counselor for several months then covid hit and we did
Virtual meetings once a month. Eventually insurance ran out and I wasn’t clicking with the counselor that well anyway. Then…
I found out about Belle Robertson, Tired of Thinking about drinking podcast. It was free for a while, but then it started to cost 
more…
I still get her free daily email bits and they are helpful.
Meanwhile, my husband drinks, he has refused to get alcohol out of the house, says all I need is willpower. After all, he quit smoking, and that’s way harder than quitting drinking, and besides, he doesn’t buy into any of the stuff I’ve read about addiction.
Well, my drinking went underground from there. I would sneak a few glasses of wine or a nip of rum or vodka, the. Feel ashamed and guilty and all the rest. Every now and again, I’d overdo it, get drunk and then try to lie my way out of it, ugly scene. Bitter fights, and the aftermath is always the same, I don’t care about him, I’m selfish, there’s something wrong with me, I m crazy, etc.
So we tried this past month allowing me to drink, as long as I didn’t lie about it. I could have one or two glasses of wine, just not every day.
Well, that experiment failed. I got drunk last night, threw a big hissy fit, don’t remember what I said, but he is convinced I don’t really care about him, I only care about myself. He is hurt and angry and it’s all my fault.
And that is a long story about why I am here. I need more sober supports in my toolbox . I don’t want any more day ones!
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So sorry about the typos in my post!
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Thats ok Patricia, immediately when i saw the word moderation i thought noooo ha, youl find alot of threads on here about moderating if you read around…i tried it and actually i think its more difficult than quitting. Its harder when your husband refuses to not have drink in the house and around you, the allen carr book is also really good for changing your mindset about drinking id highly recommend it
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I will check that book out, thanks!
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It is a really good book, helped me start shifting my mindset. I also really liked Annie Grace’s, This Naked Mind.
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Hi 
I am new to this app and I am on day one for what feels like the millionth time as well.
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Welcome @Pattycake and @BJonns !! I’m semi new, just recently promoted out of the Basic user status 
haha and I can tell you that this community has given me so much encouragement and support that I spent much more time here reading threads and copying ideas to deal with cravings and so much more than I actually do in any other social media app!
You’re not alone, there’s so much info in this community and so many members ready to listen and give you ideas! Happy to have you here
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Thank you so much. I have been reading some threads and I love how everyone is ao supportive of one another.
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This community is a big part of my recovery, but I have many other communities and tools I use to stay sober. Welcome to TS! Have you tried AA? Local support from other sober people seems like something that would help, especially with your husband still drinking.
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Hi, I totally agree. It is easier to quit all together than even trying to attempt to moderate.
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Hey there, just curious what quitting steps you have tried on other attempts? Not to sober-splain.
Sharing from my perspective, I had many day ones before making multi-tiered changes to my life and recovery. I found I’ve needed a million things to keep me sober. Resisted that for a long time. Having a pen pal, sponsor, ally is an awesome thing to add to your approach, especially for support and accountability.
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Thanks all for kind words, encouragement and support! Has anyone heard of Craig Beck? He has a podcast called Happy Sober Podcast, that I stumbled on a few weeks ago. He had a free pdf offer of his book, Alcohol Lied To Me. I downloaded that and have been reading it. Compelling evidence for the Why of quitting, the HOW to quit is the
sticky wicket, right? Which is why we’re all here. So, cheers to all! I’m in it for the long haul!
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What I tried in the past:
Made a list of reasons why I don’t want to drink and had it on my Nightstand to look at whenever the urge hit.
Subscribed to Belle Robertsons podcast, Tired of Thinking About Drinking.
Worked with an AODA counselor using cognitive behavioral therapy
Journaling
Starting each day with a yoga and meditation routine
Read a few excellent books on sobriety.
Installed a meditation app, with a reminder bell that goes off every fifteen minutes to remind me to breathe, and do a quick scan, how am I? What am I doing? Where is my mind going?
Kept a bag of gummy bears in the cupboard to grab one or two or five whenever the urge to drink came up.
Not a bad list of things for a sober toolbox, right? My chief problem is I do pretty well for several weeks or so then get complacent, (lazy?) stop using the tools I have at hand and give up. I’m tired of giving up, today is day two. I know that the first week is the hardest, it it will get a little better each week after that and that if I stick with it long enough, the voice of addiction, the “Wolfie Voice” will get weaker and weaker.
But what I have learned now is that I will always need to use those tools, I can’t ever be complacent about self care , ever again.
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