I’m stuck. I keep trying and trying. How did you go about getting sober? Did you just put it down one day and said that’s that, did you plan when, did you cut down a little at a time, did you take time off work, did you go to detox? It never seems “right” and I give myself excuse after excuse
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I planned a bunch of times and failed… I cut back a bunch of times and failed… I actually drank my last 2 beers at around 4 a.m. on my 86 mile drive into work. During my 12 hour shift I somehow decided I wasn’t going to stop at the first gas station to buy more when I got off… I passed that one and convinced myself not to stop at the next one either, it was a serious battle but I made it home without stopping. I was very proud of myself, felt like I’d climbed Everest.
I put tons of time into my sobriety after that… hundreds of hours of podcasts, reading, books, videos and of course this place. I kind of figured that I no longer had the luxury of another chance at quitting, I was all in on choosing life.
You’re correct about that… our addicted brain is always going to think of the next occasion to use in order too discourage and weaken or resolve. When’s the last time you smoked and felt good about the choice afterward the high was gone?
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What have you been doing so far?
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Hey babygirl…sorry your struggling so much…hard isnt it…heres what i did almost 2 years ago at the start of my sobriety…
I took time off work with ‘depresssion’
I came off all social media
Apart from work i was honest with every single person close to me about what was going on
For the first week my mother had my car key and my best friend controlled my money
I joined this site and came on here every single day, talked and read as much as i could
After a week i had decided that was it and it was my responsibility and mine only wether i drank or not so i got back my car keys and money
I read allen cars easy way to quit drinking which changed my minset about drinking forever
With the help of people on here i made a plan to not be around any kind of drinking for at least 3 months, i didnt keep it in the house, kept away from anywhere that sold alcohol socially and even kept away from the booze aisle in the supermarket
After 3 months and even now im still only around drinking if its with close family and or supportive friends
I watched the Stutz documentary on Netflix
I study positive psychology and work on my self esteem daily
Il be on this journey for the rest of my life, ive accepted that i can never go back to being a normal drinker, if i have 1 drink it will open up the flood gates, luckily i can control not having that first one and for that i am truly grateful
Hope this helps some xxxxx
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For me, I had to stop thinking that my addiction was the problem. Instead, it was but a symptom of deeper rooted problems within me. And as long as those deeper rooted problems were left unexposed and unaddressed, they were going to keep unconsciously working against me, undermining and sabotaging my conscious efforts to quit.
One such problem of mine was lack of connection. I define connection as other people in my life that know me and are looking out for my personal and spiritual growth. This forum is an example of a connection. But personally, I need more. A 12 step group would be an example of a really good connection. They say that the opposite of addiction is connection. My thoughts are that if one’s life is lacking in that area, then his/her lack of connection is a far greater problem than the relapsing into addiction, which is but a symptom.
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I am only 14 days in and this is not my first attempt but this time I had to literally lock myself in my house for the first three days I gave my phone my car keys and all money in my bank to my cousin so there was absolutely no way I could access alcohol. The benefit was that psychologically I knew that there was no way I could get it so I wasn’t fighting with myself all day trying and not to drink. I’m lucky I had so much support. Its also very important to note that I did not do this alone this was done under the supervision of withdrawal nurse and frequent contact with Dr and medication.
Good luck, it gets easier every time and you are not alone. Once your mindset shifts you will feel more confident.
I found podcasts helpful x
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Your drinking will eventually get you to the same place mine took me. The day of my last drink, I was arrested for the 5th time for DUI. What followed was enforced abstinence for about 3 years.
But what happened during that arrest, a spiritual out of body experience, that made the difference for me. I became convinced that I could stop drinking and everything was gonna be alright. The planning and scheming about how to drink and get away with it stopped at that moment.
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I never went to rehab, AA, or any place for help. Instead, I decided to throw out all my alcohol related stuff. Then I left my drinking “friends” alone. I went to my job at the time and had to ride the wave of whatever came next. Most importantly, I prayed. Whether a higher being exists or not, I prayed and had faith in my sobriety. It was lonely and very difficult, as I didnt really have anyone to help me through that. It was one of the hardest things I chose to do.
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Just went to AA never looked back
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Anyone can stop drinking, it’s staying stopped where the hard work comes in. For me, I went to an intensive outpatient program followed by AA.
I’m in my 5th year of sobriety and I still work on my recovery daily because I know now that I will lose anything I put in front of my sobriety.
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I tried to quit drinking many times, too many to count.
One day, I said enough was enough and quit. I didn’t want to quit, but I had to. I spent the first week on the couch watching quit videos on YouTube. That made it easier I feel, my only commitment was to take care of myself, I’d definitely recommend taking a week or two off if you can.
I also stopped the people, places and things associated with drinking.
I came here a lot, made friends with a few people and we helped each other through those rough first few months.
I also listened and took the advice of people with more sobriety than me. I wanted to be like them, so I did what they did.
And most of all, I took it one day at a time. Today is all we have so let’s make it count.
Remember, motivation can get you there, but it’s discipline and commitment that keeeps you there, and that takes work, every day.
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This post…has helped me quite a bit.
What’s YOUR plan? - Life in Recovery - Talking Sober - Addiction Recovery Forum & Support Group
Also understanding that there are as many ways to recovery as there are individuals…and every one of those ways is valid.
Also…getting to know myself. The things that make me tick. My flaws, my inspirations, getting to know who I am (This is a work in progress)
But my three biggest things…
- Complete and utter honesty with myself and the people around me.
- My desire to stop drinking.
- Meetings. (Community…forums like these. AA meetings. Hearing and listening to people who have done it before me. Their stories, their wins, their loses…how they came back up…)
I hope this helps. xx
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For thirty years, I made numerous attempts to quit. I used some of the best tools to do so, outside of me tools: books, meetings, meditations, etc.
One day I was apparently looped when I had a major accident, in a house I had just moved into. It left me hospitalized for a month. I still don’t remember the accident, or before, or after. When I left the hospital, I continued to drink, even more, because I didn’t want to face what was happening to me.
One day, it became very clear that people were offering it to me, “to help me.” I grabbed hard on “No, thank you.”
I actually use far less in tools today. I stay here, where I have been since 2016, and I still use my online group of The Luckiest Club. Day 212 - the longest I have ever had. Tomorrow is the official seven months on the calendar.
Point is: The decision lives in you. You must decide what is needed in your heart, mind, and body to make it happen.
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That is a great question! Each of our stories is a bit different. For me I had no plan to quit drinking. In 2001, I stopped because I was given an ultimatum by a colleague in the military. That sobriety lasted a frustratingly long year. I finally accepted sobriety on August 1, 2012 because I realized how my drinking was affecting my mental and physical health. It helped that I also watched my 18 year old sister in law struggle with overcoming addiction herself. She inspired me to accept that I had a problem and needed help. From there it was and will always be the support of family, friends, and communities like this that keep me sober.
I went through withdrawal while still working.and have learned to take time for myself. I realize this was a bit self centered, but sometimes hearing what others have done is the best way to learn. That’s why your question is great @Princessbabygirl. I hope this helps.
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It never will seem right. The addiction in us will always convince us to do it another day.
Getting sober is a choice. Its hard in the beginning. For me, it was harder being an active alcoholic.
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I found that asking for advice only works if you come back to read it. Your pattern on here seems to be the opposite.
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That seems really unfair to say because I am here almost daily. I spiral when I relapse and think there is no point to reply because I’ve failed. That everyone gives me amazing advice but I struggle and get ashamed. Like people on here like you will judge me. Thanks for proving it? 
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Oh yes I totally get what you went through. I prayed and didn’t even know what I was praying to, I thought I was going mad and other people would occasionally catch me outside taking deep breaths of air whilst staring up into the sky, they could probably comfirm that I was going mad.
It kept me sober then and it still works today.
The madness we live in today is better than the insanity we lived in before.
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I’m fairly new to this myself. It’s been about a month and a half for me and it took a lot to get here. I’ve used drinking, especially for panic attacks for the last 15 years.
I finally decided to give myself grace, patience and the love I know I deserve and NEED to survive.
My personal suggestions are to give yourself all the grace. If you need to take off work, do it. If you need to cancel plans or a big commitment, do it.
If you need to delete all of your social media and shut your phone off, do it. Guilt free.
This is your journey and YOUR brain. Nobody else can tell you what you can and can’t tolerate or what you’re feeling.
It’s helped me to shift my thinking when it comes to myself. I treat myself as though I’m a young girl I’m taking care of. Only that young girl is me before life happened. Before unhealthy coping mechanisms happened.
You’ve got this 
Keep trying and keep loving yourself even when you slip. You deserve it. 
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Dearest Bella…you are a human being with an addiction…a disease of the body and mind…we all without question find it hard to get sober and to stay that way…those thoughts and feelings of failure and shame will only keep you in your addiction…for me… my healing started with realising that i needed to have some compassion for myself instead of sitting in shame and darkness…mindset is everything …you are worth a life without slowly killing yourself daily…think about how you would treat someone you love if they were going through this and treat yourself the same…nourish your body with good food, hydrate, get some vitamins…tell yourself you deserve a better life than this and treat yourself with kindness…push past any shame by reaching out to us and talk it out if your struggling and engage with us because we are all here for you…you kill that shame and upset by treating yourself with kindness and accepting the kindness of others here…you have to allow yourself to be helped xx
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