I’ve been 10 days sober. Longest I went was 8 months. Alcohol.
I’m not bad or wreck my life when I drink, it’s just the “social” aspect I want to get out of for health reasons. I want to stop telling myself I’m missing out, when I know I am not.
I want to not have to explain to people why I’m not drinking.
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Hey! Congrats on the double digits!
For me personally, I found reading This Naked Mind by Annie Grace a complete game changer in the way that I viewed alcohol and it took away all those feelings that I was missing out by not drinking.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you’ve quit drinking. Maybe just a ‘I’m taking a break from it for a while’ will suffice?
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Yes Annie Grace gave me my first 8 months. Then somehow how feel back into the “nectar trap”.
I also read Alan Carr. It helped for a few months.
I need to remind myself I am not missing out on anything.
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100% you’re not missing out. I think after time our thinking can get complacent and we soften the edges on our drinking memories…
Have you tried playing the tape through to the end when you feel like you’re missing out? Like, play the scenario through in your head, right up until the next day when you would wake up? I find this is a good reminder for me - I’m happy to be missing out on hangovers, regret and ‘hangxiety’! Puts abit of perspective back into my thoughts.
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Welcome Bradley! 
Drinking and trouble go hand in hand, and if it’s not (always) the booze it’s the people and the places - usually there’s a problem there too 
It sounds like the person you really want to understand this, is yourself.
Why do you want to stop?
I think your correct about our memories becoming complacent over time. I’ve gone so long without a drink I can have a few, then your just trapped in the cycle again.
I need to keep thinking it is no good for me.
I remember a waitress that hadn’t seen me in a long time when I was sober asked if I was OK because I wasn’t drinking, she said my eyes were a lot brighter. I think about that a lot.
Thanks for the support and encouragement 
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Hello and welcome back. I’m only 3 months alcohol free but I’ve got two things that really help me.
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Playing the tape all the way to the end. One drink is never just one for me and that becomes habit and then months go by and I’ve lost my resolve.
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Embracing JOMO (the joy of missing out). If I feel a craving or a desire to go to a social engagement where I know I might have a drink I decline that activity and ride it out at home. Watch a show or twelve
, read a book, cook or order out but get comfortable with yourself. Then when you wake up sober and happy in your own skin it makes declining alcohol or trips to places where you might drink more rewarding. At least it does for me.
I guess a third thing too, just keep trying. If something works once and not again try something else. There are tons of books, meetings and groups and what works today might not work tomorrow. Keep changing it up or find a routine and stick with it but nothing changes if nothing changes. Let sobriety grow with you. All the best to you.
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I think it dulls my life down. Slows my fitness. I consume more and more over time.
I work away 2 weeks at a time (no Alcohol)
I make good money ect, so I tell myself I deserve it, or have a few to relax but I know that’s all bullshit.
I’m bullshitting myself, I need to harden up not give a fuck what people think about me not drinking.
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What great advice thank you 
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Welcome back and great job on your 10 days.
I’ve always felt like if there is something in our life that we can’t stop doing, even though it’s harming our lives in some way, then that qualifies under “addiction”. You don’t have to be naked in a ditch with an empty bottle under your arm. Alcohol does nothing good for your health and you want to stop, but find it hard to do so. That’s simple enough.
One thing that could be useful to you is to get a paper and write a list on one side of “things you feel you miss out on when you don’t drink”. Then, in a column beside the first write a way that you can get that same thing while sober. If nothing comes to mind, try to figure out a way that you can get that thing without drinking. We tend to associate certain things together after repeated actions. It takes a while for the brain to let go of those connections. Coming up with a physical list to look at can help combat those associations.
As for not explaining to people why you’re not drinking, if people are used to you drinking, they’ll ask because it’s different; or some people ask because it’s just something to talk about. If you’d rather not dwell on it with them, find some quick way to address the issue in a way That you can segway onto another topic. I personally enjoy the “ludicrous reason” with humor to get a laugh then hopping on to another topic. Go with whatever works with your personality. Eventually, people will get used to you not drinking alcohol and they won’t say anything.
Good luck.
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Maybe…
But maybe what you really need is to harden up and tell yourself - or more specifically that voice that says “it’s fine, just do it” - that you will do whatever it takes to stay healthy and grounded. (Healthy and grounded = sober. Every human being needs to be healthy and grounded. It just makes sense, and it’s true for all of us.)
You will do whatever it takes, any or all of these things:
- check in here daily Checking in daily to maintain focus #43
- attend groups, multiple times a day if you want to, because it’s a safe alcohol-free space and because you can make real friends www.AA.org or Resources for our recovery or Online meeting resources are good spaces to start
- cut out activities and people from your life that are associated with using; you need to change some things and it starts by having new places and different faces (often we find these in meetings, though it can be at other sober activities)
Ultimately it’s not really about having to justify it to other people. It’s actually about setting boundaries for yourself and sticking to them, one step at a time. 
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Thank you, appreciate you taking the time for me.