I think it’s great you were able to get almost a month sober in prior to relapsing! Look at that as a accomplishment you’ve achieved. You can always start over and get pass the 25 days and excel and exceed beyond that. I remember I had two weeks of no porn and masturbation. Than I wind up relapsing hardcore. Try activities that channel your energy more constructively like sports, making art, journaling etc. Meditation/Yoga if you’re into those activities.
2 Likes
I don’t know how many days you guys had been sober in the past years but I want to emphasize that it was my longest strike that I had been sober for fifteen days but as I remember that was about two years ago, want to trust in myself whenever I start a new process but the result is always disappointing. The categories that I viewed over the years made me think that if I have a more heavier addiction than the others. Someone told me that I was misinterpreting my addiction. The point is that, according to that someone my personality is a bit depressed, I mean my soul. I have thought about this and maybe she was right with what she said. On the one hand, as I was interested in philosophy, I was Overthinking about someting that could be simple for someone to pass on. I was running into a contradiction so simply whenever I investigate some cases. And this was/is making me feel the contradiction deeply. That is why I am always back to hell. I think I need to distinguish the real me the fake one…
2 Likes
I don’t have much time sober. As far as my addictions I’m struggling with currently. Everyday it’s a constant struggle. I’m attempting my absolute best to get back to my genuine self. Some people might think I’m a fake phony facade of a person, or some major contradiction. I installed this app, because I don’t have much in real life going for me. I want to be around people that are sober/positive. Also to gain some support and encouragement to live a sober contented life. As well as share the message through my experience.
3 Likes
We know the results but it is not enough. It is tricky. The greatest industry of America. Someone knows how this makes a big impact on human’s brain and it just serves their purpose. When I am free of this shit., I will say fuck the system!!
2 Likes
Don’t worry, we are here for each other.
1 Like
Sorry, I haven’t been on the forum. I agree. The blockers weren’t too much help for me. I always found a way around. We have to retrain out brains so we view porn for what it is - garbage. We need to have reasons for fighting it as well as correct the false notions which keep us chained to this vice, because as long as they remain un-countered, we will always give ourselves reasons to go back.
2 Likes
@Pirate Do you mind any S.A. meeting?
Today is my 5 day sober. After a hard day full of activity and social events. Tomorrow the same.
Stress high levels are dangerous for me. Always I look for something to comfort me?
Do you practice healthy self-care? How do you do it?
From my experience as a person who didn’t abide by the rules, regulations, and violations of contemporary society. The moral of the story is follow the rules. Don’t disobey when I did I paid the hard way js. Porn is definitely a difficult addiction to get over as well as auto eroticism. Take it one day at a time/moment to moment at a time. Engage in hobbies/activities that channel those energies more constructively and utilize time wisely.
1 Like
I will tell you that you are right with all you’ve said. But it is not enough. The main point is just taking action as soon as possible. I don’t know if you believe in god, but as a matter of fact, I am scared too much with my sins. I am not scared of going hell, it is first the shame of that the lord will judge me showing me what I have done throughout my life. That is such a shame. That is enough to get away from this shit. I lost all the respect in myself. I damaged all the pure systems of what I have been given. That is enough. For the sake of god, let’s keep up supporting each other!!!
1 Like
@Bomdhil I attend SLAA meetings, I found a good for me sponsor and worked the steps, I work out regularly. The main thing I did early in my sobriety was what ever it took. If i had to skip a social event because it was triggering I did, if I had to get out of the house, just what ever it took!
3 Likes
A relapse is just an opportunity to learn. I see the word Shame a lot in this post and it makes me cringe. Shame is the driving force behind sex addiction. Kill shame (the belief that I am a bad person) and the cycle can stop. We have a saying in our group “progress, not perfection”. I feel shame when I’m not perfect, yet who is? When I set unrealistic goals (perfection) I set myself up for failure. Then the addict rolls in with the shame shame shame and I’m back to acting out. When I accepted that I am human, fallible, imperfect and I fall short of the mark on a regular basis I can shed some of that shame and start to heal.
6 Likes
SLAA is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. Yes I’m fallible and a imperfect person. We all are fallible human beings. I’ve done the whole asceticism route. It failed terribly every time. Progress not perfection is key. I hear some people telltale their higher power being a loving/nurturing one not a punishing/relentless one. I love that concept of a higher power. I can only achieve progress not perfection a day at a time. We all have our shortcomings, character defects etc. In a imperfect world we fit in perfectly.
1 Like
Hey friend, sounds like you’re going through something many of us have been through. I have felt like I must be worse than everyone else because of the types of porn I’ve watched or specific things I’ve done. That is a lie that your addiction is telling you. It’s a trap to make you feel isolated. I promise you, you are not worse than us. There are one or two guys in my program that walked in the door because they got busted for watching child pornography.
The last time I committed adultery, my wife was visiting her dying grandmother. So yeah, I know a lot about shame and self loathing. We’re in this together. And there’s hope.
5 Likes
Thanks for stepping in and sharing, Mike! I always appreciate your advice.
We can’t compare our addictions either. I haven’t cheated on my wife with another woman, but I’m fairly certain I’ve come across child porn before. I feel fortunate that I hadn’t progressed in the addiction far enough to be hooked on that. Anytime I came across it, I would redirect immediately. To different porn. It didn’t ‘wake’ me up or anything.
So pissed at the addiction. So amazed at the sobriety I’ve achieved and relieved that I’m free of the grip and the shame and guilt.
3 Likes
I can relate to the majority of commentary thats been said on this topic. I use to watch porn that was freaky, kinky, and sinister. Afterwards I’d feel remorseful, repulsed, and humiliated by my actions/behaviors. Porn/auto eroticism took me to a place of deep abyss. It was terrible, excruciating, and unbearable. I’ve committed a ton adultery and engaged in debauchery so I’m just as guilty. Knowing I’m not alone, not unique, and distinctive. Some people have engaged/been apart of that lifestyle to. It makes me feel a sense of belonging. Knowing there is hope and light at end of the dark tunnel.
2 Likes
@Albus thanks for your reply and your honesty. Today I reach the week of sobriety and I eel tempted. Only writing here , praying and connecting is saving my day.
I am developing too a problem with food. I am clearly overweight but I can not stop eating out of anxiety.
1 Like
@Bomdhil I struggle with eating to. I try not to consumed too much food because I’ll feel that physiological pain. I’ll commence to get stomach cramps. A week sober that’s awesome! Keep it up! I try to space out my eating times.It’s good to treat yourself to one appealing food item sporadically. Just attempt not to over do it. Porn can be very difficult, because it’s psychologically/physiologically stimulating simultaneously. It’s the new tobacco apparently from a YouTube video Ted Talks videos good stuff.
2 Likes
@Cgty04 I want to recommend to you a book that brought me tons of hope. It is an old one but only transmit hope to me. It is called “Out of the Shadows” of Patrick Carnes. Check it out!
1 Like
I have just relapsed. That was my mistake. I will check it out, thank you.
2 Likes