now is a great time to make many changes then! this forum is filled with suggestions about getting and staying sober from people who also couldn’t go a night without a drink. read a ton and get involved in your recovery 
here’s a link to a thread with a great deal of material worth looking intohttps://talkingsober.com/t/resources-for-our-recovery/52812
Have you considered the possibility that your an alcoholic and that AA is absolutely full of them, I was totally against it and am still not their biggest fan but why, if we really want to stop, wouldn’t we go to the place that is tryin to help us, a bit embarrassed? shame? pride?. There is no room in recovery for an ego but there is a room for people like us.
I keep reading about other options for recovery groups, but can’t seem to locate them or their meeting information. I’ve tried AA, I just can’t seem to stop digging my heels in against.
I’m looking into what resources my company provides, but I don’t want my management or HR involved.
True, but it was a relief to type those words because I feel like they are the start of me being blatantly honest about why I continue to fail.
It’s just me but so far I 'm recovering without AA meetings. (80 days so far) Therapist and people from this forum are all I need for now I guess. But everybody is diffrent. 
And about nigth without a drink it’s simple. One easy trick : dont drink first drink😅
Here are a variety of resources, including different programs to check into…
Hey I lost my job from drinking also! Took me about a year to start working again. If I would have listened to the people who were telling me to stop…
Sucked being out of work but I had plenty of free time to figure out how to get sober and the wife and kids got to see what a winner I was sitting at home every day.
Don’t go to AA, lose your career. Go to AA, maybe save your career.
The math looks pretty good to me, that AA deserves an honest try.
War is over, if you want it.
Seems like you know what is going to happen if you keep traveling the road your on, lose a job at a minimum and prob worse. You have to honestly ask yourself what are you willing to do? I know you likely have no clue what to do because everything you have tried hasn’t worked. Self will availed me of nothing either. In order to beat alcohol, you are going to have to surrender and that means listening and trusting that what has worked for others, just may work for you.
You can quit just like we all have. If you are willing to go to any lengths to do it.
AA is not required to be sober. I however found it indispensable in my sobriety. When going to meetings focus on the similarities and not the differences between yourself and others.
Also rehab is an option. It may save your life if you cant quit any other way.
Ypu have support here so keep reading, checking in, and asking questions.
I looked at this and flipped your words into a plan
Which shows what could change
I wont lose my career if something changes right now.
I go to AA:or and I do have anybody sober in my life I can turn to for support.
I Am starting to understand why I couldnt even go stupid night without a drink. But now i can
Go for it
Then that’s a very good start. I know how hard it is to come to terms with.
Well done for reaching out.
How are you doing now? You’ve gotten some great insights and suggestions. I’m late to this thread but wanted to check in on you @Amnawtx
Thank you. Im in a good place right now. Today is day 1 and I’m feeling calm and confident.
Yay! Take it one minute at a time today if you have to. Wishing you all the best!
First…I don’t know why you don’t want to go to AA since you didn’t clarify. But I can tell you that sobriety occurs when we go outside of our comfort zone. If you don’t want to go to AA because you are scared then that is exactly the reason why you SHOULD go. I didn’t go for 2 years and I had all the excuses all lined up in a neat little list…but in the end, AA is the reason why I eventually got sober and am still sober today. It was scary as all heck but it is what I needed. If you don’t want to go to AA because of some perceived feeling that it is too religious (it ISN’T but I know a lot of people would prefer something without any reference to God…even my very religious “born again Christian” friend wouldn’t go to AA because she feared it would conflict with her already very strong religous beliefs) there are other groups you can join.
Second…a fellowship recovery group (AA or other) is exactly where you will FIND sober people to be in your life!!! You will either find other people who are going through exactly what you are going through right now and you will find camaraderie in that OR you will find people who have experience in sobriety and you will find wisdom and advice in that!!
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
I 2nd this. I was the same and didnt want to ask for help because it felt like a burden but the best people I’ve met are in the rooms, rehab and recovery. You should try and find a silver lining and use an open mind. Also when you’re willing to do anything you will find it a little easier to ask for help. I battled addiction for 12 years before I decided that my way wasnt working and in January I went to rehab for the 1st time and it literally changed my life. I hope that soon you find that hope you need to survive this lifestyle before it takes your life. Please dont be afraid to reach out and ask for help. It is what will save your life.
Hey Erin; I just wanted to pipe in about AA and not going. I have pretty much a whole boat load of family that got sober with it and I absolutely still didn’t want to go, but I did. I have heard a lot of reasons why not to go, but if you use it for YOUR life and/or situation it’s really a great thing to find. It did take a few times before I felt comfortable but everyone is so nice and happy to see you make it there. 
Sorry to not elaborate for those who have contributed.
I have tried AA off and on for several years and I find the setup doesn’t work for me. People are great. Support system is great. But I more feel like Im in a lion’s club or fraternal order being than I feel like Im in a support group. And I have been to several locations.
Really, its just not my style and its not going to be what gets me sober.
Have you tried smart recovery? 