New title: Checking in here when I need to vent or need advice

No, it really doesn’t.
Yeah. It is. But I’m not actually racing cause I hurt my back.
Yeah, Saturday should be ok. Idk. We’ll see.

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Well I think it does or I wouldn’t be posting here :blush:

What did you do to your back? It will be nice to cheer them on after they helped you out I bet?

Ur funny.
I pulled a muscle in my back a few weeks ago. Yeah. They’re awesome and yeah.

Well I like to think I am… :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Shame that you pulled your muscle, hope it heals quickly. Although not so bad to have an excuse to sit out the race I guess if that makes you anxious. I think being the one cheering people on is one of the most important jobs anyway.

Lol
Yeah. Been three weeks, so we’ll see. I’m going to an orthopedist if it’s not better in another week. Yeah, it does make me anxious. So it is kinda nice to have an excuse, thought you don’t really have to race, so I told him even before that I didn’t want to. Lol yeah. Cheering good. And helping set up.

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I just feel completely worthless rn. I barely have any friends. None who will talk to me. And it’s almost 1 am and my mom braged in, waking me up, to make me take another medicine, which makes me feel like I’mma throw up, which I did, and she said it was to keep me healthy but whatever. Now it’s not in me anyways. Who cares. Not me. I’m fine.

Umph 1am is late! Definitely get your Prana app on mate and try and relax even if you can’t sleep. Being tired definitely won’t help you feel any better! And also you need to be well rested so you can be a good cheer squad on Sunday :rofl:

I was able to fall asleep. Now the key is staying awake. Ughhh.

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So the whole kavanaugh thing is really messing g me up rn. The hearing doctor Ford talk about it specifically. Its so important to hear. But it really triggers me. But I still wanna hear and be informed, so idk. I’m having a lot of memories rn and I feel bad for not calling them out or whatever. Idk.

What do you mean by calling out your memories?

Do you do any journalling or anything like that while you’re waiting for your next therapy session?

No calling out who did shit to me.
I sometimes write down stuff that I wanna bring up, but that’s about it. I don’t have the patience to write every day lol

Haha I don’t have the patience for a daily diary either! That’s good that you keep a track of stuff you want to talk about though. Sometimes I find writing things down helps make some kind of sense of them.

Do you feel like you want to speak to someone about what happened to you? Is your therapist aware?

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I’ve been writing during physics cause my teacher pisses me off and I legitimately think about whether I’d rather die or deal with that class again. So I write. A lot.
My therapist knows. I’ve vaguely talked about it. It’s just gotten worse recently.

Ok. Update. I wanted to try going to a church tomorrow, but I’m scared. I know some churches are super anti LGBT and if I go to one, I’ll end up more messed up rather than less.

I’m fairly certain most churches don’t lock the doors from the inside. If you feel uncomfortable you can leave. best case scenario you get something good from it, worst case you tried and didn’t like it.

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@Kakimime1
Try Unitarian or Unity.

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Yes! I went to a unitarian church about a year ago and loved it. The pastor or whatever is a black lesbian woman and she was awesome. Highly recommend…

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Hey sorry I thought I had replied to this. How’s it going? Glad it’s something your therapist knows about and I hope they are giving you the support you need if you feel like it is something you want to call out. Not so glad to hear how much your phsyics teacher pisses you off :see_no_evil:

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I need to cut so bad. I’m just so worthless and needy and messed up. I just need to cut

I was Unitarian. But I believe in God and they call it the spirit that some people call God. So I felt like they weren’t ok with me believing in God lol.