I’m new to this. I’ve been sober for a little over a month. I have had absolutely no help and have done it all by myself. I’m sure it’s normal to have a bad day and need a drink but how do you not let yourself? Any advice?
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Welcome Bailey! You’re right that it’s not easy. Getting past that first month, a lot of people have noticed that it takes more than just wanting it. It takes effort & learning & activity of recovery, in support from people who have walked the path too. Do you have some groups you can attend?
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Welcome and congrats on your month+!
Personally, I couldn’t do it by myself for more than a couple weeks at best, so in my book what you’ve done is amazing.
I want my DOC on bad days, good days and in between. I want it to wake up, to fall asleep, to make myself feel better, to congratulate myself. Unfortunately, I put it before everything else. I hurt myself and others.
I realized there’s no shame in needing someone else’s help. And there are people out there who will truly help me and ask for nothing in return because someone did the same for them. So now, I do the same for others as was done for me.
Getting better with others’ help also made it easier. I could draw on their experience, strength and hope. Didn’t make much sense to me to reinvent the wheel when it’s already been done millions of times successfully. Shamelessly copying what someone else’s steps to success is encouraged.
So I sought out successful people, and I did what they did. And I kept finding successful people and stole their steps until I had a nice little box full of ways. Then I committed to being willing to use everything in that box if I had to to stay sober today. Then I did the same thing again the next day. Rinse and repeat.
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No support or groups. I’m not really good with stuff like that!
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Thank you!
You’ve already done it! Keep doing what you’re doing and fight, fight, fight! The urge subsides. You are past the point of physically needing it, so now when you hear that demon voice telling you its alright, one won’t hurt…tell that voice NO WAY. Because you know better.
If you don’t mind me asking, why do you say you’re not good with it?
I’m not good with groups either, but they are still important to my recovery at the moment (which is more focused on mental health than alcohol, but the two are intertwined). I have quite a strong anxiety disorder, yet am going to seven group sessions per week at the moment!
I also have been getting over a phobia of riding in vehicles. I’ve stared many a panic attack in the face, but now I’m nearly at a point where I can have a proper social life and take jobs and do activities outside my direct neighbourhood. The reward was really worth the difficulty.
My point is not “you must do groups”, my point is that if groups are something that would be helpful for you, it may be worth being uncomfortable in order to receive those benefits.
I would recommend not doing this recovery thing completely on your own. Whether that looks like engaging with this community, finding a SMART Recovery or 12 step meeting near you or online, or a combination, or something else, it really helps keep the head straight. People who have solid recovery time, several years or more, are especially good to stay near. They have so much battle-tested wisdom to offer.
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Just about to head out so rather than giving advice I am linking to another post which has some advice grouped together 
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I think it’s because I’m just not good at talking about it and if I do it’ll make me want to drink.
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Thank you.
Thank you!
Hmmm yes talking is intimidating and the narratives of use can sweep us up. It’s important to keep it grounded. I wonder - if there was a meeting & you could just listen, do you think that would work better? And the stories were not detailed using stories, but more a discussion of recovery strategies
Great thread, lots of ideas.
Try a group - not so much for you to talk about yourself as for the chance to identify with other people’s struggles and to hear their solutions.
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