I seriously need to get my ass to a meeting tonight.
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Everything okay?
Full of resentments towards my partner, he’s pushing my boundaries and has gone on vacation with out me, he did ask, I did say yes, but I didn’t think it would affect me this way, but I can feel anger, resentments and fear building in me.
8 hours time difference and he’s been a bit insensitive about a few things and when we talk it’s always brief, there’s been very few issues up until now. Trying to keep it together and need to get out of my head before I do or say something I regret.
Acceptance of others is very hard to grasp. I thought I had me some justified resentment towards my dad the last couple weeks. I kept that shit bottled up and it got worse. Eventually I spilled everything to a video close friend. As soon as I verbalized it I realized how it was my fault. I’m not saying this is your fault, but being at a meeting and sharing about it will definitely help
I was actually really thankful when I found this article through my own research before I went sober. It helped remind me that although we all have the same destination, we’re all on different paths. I don’t like AA, personally, but if it works for someone else, then that’s awesome. I know a lot of people are turned away from the idea of AA, so to give them alternatives puts more options out there on the table for them.
I accept my part in it, I guess I just feel angry as I wouldn’t do the same to him. I’ll get over it.
It’s nice there are alternatives these days. It’s just not a good look to have articles that claim to discredit one particular program. Especially one that has been successful for a long time and has helped millions upon millions of people. I like to keep an open mind and try as many programs as I can, but I always end up back at my home group and that’s where I feel the best
Yeah I hear ya. It still hurts though.
Yeah. AA took me a long me to come around to, also put off when I first approached it. When I read articles like this one it now seems to me like the program is misunderstood by many, but to each their own.
In general articles that lay into any program of recovery I don’t find helpful. I much prefer people share in what ways a program did help them as you do with Refuge Recovery and others with SMART, etc. Those I find more insightful.
Really appreciate how constructive those around this forum are in that regard!
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I mean I don’t think it’s a positive to blindly follow a group just because a bunch of other people do. It may have successes, but that’s also because it was the first group of its kind. Hard to compete with almost a century of meetings haha regardless, I think if someone is comfortable doing an approach that isn’t AA, that’s awesome, but they’re commonly discredited (from what I’ve seen personally and professionally). I think it’s good that people see AA isn’t the only thing out there and that at the end of the day, they’re still responsible for putting the work in to their recovery.
Hugs 
you can’t control him or let him or anyone control your serenity. I don’t know if it’s meant to work out or not…but use the same principles of the program. Attraction vs. promotion. Meaning. Just do you. Stay purposefully busy & productive without him. Sincerely wish him a fun trip. And see what happens. Stay calm, unruffled, peaceful & content vs. angry, bitter resentful. Honey attracts more bees 
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Sure does and if I try talking about it, I’ll be the one who spoiled his holiday so it has to wait 2 weeks.
I told him my uncle has been diagnosed with cancer yesterday and has very little time left, pancreatic and liver cancer, alcoholic with about 15 years sober through AA so there’s a lesson for us all there, he basically said oh no, I’m stuck in traffic, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, that really fucked me off.
Then when he talked to me today, he didn’t mention it.
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I mean I get what you’re saying, but coming from an efficacy and research standpoint there are far better programs out there. I think that was the point of this article as well. Not to downplay the successes that AA has had, but we’re starting to approach addiction differently, which means different recovery processes will come about. And, I’m super excited for that. I want to see more research done so people can continue getting the best help possible.
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I hear you, it’s difficult to change the mindset hence my ass will be on a seat in less than two hours.
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No matter what program you follow you end up blindly following someone. But hey what would a bunch of people with 40 years sober know anyway. I’m an alcoholic. Thinking for myself got me into this mess. I’d be an idiot if I trusted my own thinking to get me out of it. I tried Derek’s Program of recovery. It led to Derek’s Program of relapse pretty damn quick. I drank and used drugs every day for over a decade, and drank and used heavily for the decade previous to that. I could not function as a human being without being twisted. Now I don’t have the urge to even think about a drink or a drug. I’ve used a lot of different programs, all of them on blind Faith. Including SMART, IOP, therapy, inpatient, NA, AA, HA, and DRA. They all have their benefits, and each required following blindly.
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It’s nearly impossible to scientifically study recovery, because it’s almost all self reporting. The population is hard to follow bc they relocate. It’s hard to determine who was in a program to truly recover and who wasn’t. There’s so many variables that pretty much every study comes out as useless.
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Lol, people can get and stay sober without AA though. In fact, in the research I’ve done almost half of newcomers stop showing up after the first few meetings. This is purely anecdotal, but both of my grandpas each had over 35 years of sobriety before passing away, and they didn’t use AA. I’m not knocking it. I’m just saying it would be nice if those that did attend AA didn’t knock others for trying a different method. 
at the end of the day, keep doing whatever it takes to keep ya sober.
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No, AA is challenging to study because it’s anonymous. Therefore data isn’t collected by them. But, then again, if there’s a possibility that they’re not as successful as they claim, why would they want to flaunt that?