My name is Lindsey i live in Utah and started drinking heavily at 25 i am now 32 and have almost reached 7 days sober, the longest ive gone since starting probably…i have known ive needed to stop for a long time…always making bad decisions. I was caught drinking at work 5 years ago luckily was able to keep my job…but continued drinking. Thanksgiving weekend i binged like always but got way outta hand being extremely mean to my husband even screaming i wanted a divorce…which i do not want ever…sick of hurting my husband and beautiful girls…do not want to be this example for them…hoping i can repair the damage and stick to it.
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Hello,
I used to live in the UK but now I live in Thailand. i have 2 kids and second one is just 1 and a half months old. I try to be a good dad. As for drinking I have lost count on how many times I tried quitting. Recetly I cant even get a week of sobriety. I tried meeting and books. Yes I have slowed down and reduced quantity dramatically however I just cant seems to go even 3 days without having at least a few beers. Drank for 3 days and today sober.
This problem has caused a lot of problems in my life and with my health. It also nearly destroyed my relationship.
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Hey I’m Aaron and I’m an alcoholic. I’m 5 days sober and finally accepting that I’m powerless. I’ve been an alcoholic for over a decade and being in my early 30s, I’m really having to deal with some problems. I told my wife last night for the first time and it was terrible. We have been together since we met at 19 and we have always liked drinking together. Talking about our drinking and how this really affects both of us was huge.
This isn’t just about my drinking, but our complete lives. I never thought about it that way. But she has always supported me in everything and I know she is having to take in a lot. I just don’t want to lose another day to drinking!!!
I’ve have lost years to booze and want to have a healthy life with the woman I love…
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Hi, I’m Jessica…
I’m 21 years old and have been doing one particular drug for 3 years pretty much everyday of those three years… I have a little brother whom I love with all my heart, and I have a loving father and mother… I have a great boyfriend who takes care of me in all kinds of ways…
On June 10th 2013 I lost a very close friend, I actually call him my older brother… He was driving home to Vitoria from Alberta after he worked the over night shift at camp, unfortunately he fell asleep at the wheel crossing over the centre line and getting in a head in collision with a semi truck, he didn’t make it… But you see that day I was working at Dairy Queen waiting for my big brother to come to my work on his way home from the ferry to pick up his blizzard… An hour before my shift was over I finally got to have a smoke, so I texted him asking him if he had to catch the later ferry or is he almost at my work… After I sent the text my friend later called me and asked me what I was doing, I told her and then she said to me " can you do me a favour and call me as soon as your off work?, oh and don’t go one ace book Jess I’m begging you. It’s only for a hour." I replied Katie we both know imma hang up the phone and look on Facebook just tell me now it won’t effect my work, she tried to fight it but she gave it because she didn’t want me to find out the horrible news on Facebook… When she told me I went numb, absolutely positively numb. I couldn’t hear, breath, think, or move I will to the ground out side and just cried, my co worker and the owner came outside looking for me… I couldn’t talk Katie was still trying to get me to talk for 5 minutes… I couldn’t do anything. The owner of the store looked at my co worker and said cover for her for her last hour of work she needs to go home. He picked me up and Brooke back into the store. Sat me down and call my boyfriend at the time telling him he needed to come get me now… When my boyfriend got there I still was silent, my boyfriend then picked me up put me in the car and drive me home later the night I said my first words… It wasn’t to my boyfriend or roommate, my friends or family, it was to my drug dealer… I said " I need 200 of Coke, get here fast and can you stop at the liquor store for me I need some jäger…" Almost Every day since then I have done that drug… It has killed most of my relationships, I lost my job at Dairy Queen because of it… And I started dating a man who beat me everyday but I stayed with him because he sold it so I got it for free, I just wanted to forget that day, June 10th 2013… That day was the day my brother died and his innocent little sister Jessica died with him…
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Hello. My name is Kristin, a 29 year old hailing from Colorado. I am at a point in my journey where I am trying to shake off the suffocating grip of alcohol. I started drinking around 14, and mindlessly drank as much as possible to ward off social anxiety and crippling insecurity. It seemed to work - I thought booze was the miracle cure for my awkwardness and finally the way to connect to others. But, of course, it merely served as a shitty bandaid that has worn out over time. I grew up in a family plagued with substance abuse - between alcoholic parents (the moods, the fighting, dealing with their hangovers), drug abuse from my brothers and the ensuing isolation from such a toxic environment. I felt lost growing up. Alone. Unsupported and confused. Sweet whiskey was there to ease my sorrows, offered me a way to finally connect to my family. It sort of worked, until I realized I had just become the new member of the shit show.
I’ve wanted to “cut back” for years, to no avail. Moderation does not seem to be in my vocabulary. The last several years, my drinking and drug use came to a head (and they say marijuana is the gateway drug? Hilarious - fuck you, alcohol). After a slieu of toxic relationships based on partying (those never last, do they?), I had been confronted with my demons. All of a sudden, the party wasn’t fun anymore. I started to become this monster when I drank: cruel, vicious with my words and void of any regard for myself and others. When I wasn’t using or drinking, my life was nothing more than a self depricating, numb existence. I didnt want to be alive, but saw no way out. But something inside of myself screamed to choose better. Choose life. I didn’t know exactly what that looked like, but I knew the lifelong patterns I kept repeating just weren’t working.
While I’ve managed to shake off the cocaine grip, alcohol has been very different. Very challenging. I feel alone, as nearly everyone in my life drinks. And as I used it to connect to people, I don’t know how to do this with no real support system. In my stumbling attempts at sobriety, i have not been met with encouragement and compassion, but rather with misunderstanding, indifference and judgement. It has been a challenge to look past that. Anyways, I’ve loved seeing the encouragement and real stories of others with the same shared struggle in this space. While I can’t have my support needs met with family and friends, I hope to continue gaining inspiration in this place on the interwebz to keep fighting the good fight. Thanks to all & sorry for the novel!
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Don’t be sorry. A very honest account and I’m sure everyone that reads it will be able to recognise aspects of their own tale in what you have said. From what it sounds like to me you’ve come to the end of the road with alcohol. It’s difficult socially to quit because it’s seen as the acceptable drug. We all know a lot different. I went to an allen carr seminars and that really helped support me. The book is also available. Easyway to stop drinking. Support on here is incredible. Worldwide. The one thing we all have in common is that as much perceived pleasure alcohol has given us it doesn’t sit right with us any more. We give up… we may relapse but the days of sobriety waking up fresh and ready for LIFE as you mentioned start to get us thinking. We do it again… feelings resurface that have been suppressed. We stop being a zombie. I spent years drinking not remembering what I’d watched on tv. How pointless to be anaesthetised for the one life we’ve got? Life does get better without this drug. We’ve all had our ups and downs but there’s not one person here who woke up sober this morning wishing they’d had a drink and plenty who will tick off another day and embrace life with positivity. Wishing you and everyone else all the best from this side of the pond in london
I’m sorry! One of those things is a lot and you got a lot of them! I’m sorry! We are all in this together!!!
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This is so beautifully written and sounds so much like my story! 
wow! Truly inspiring! I’m on day two … tomorrow will be three. This post made me feel validated that im going to be okay because I’m not alone anymore, I finally have sober support at my fingertips 
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You do have support from everywhere in the world. Hawaii looks beautiful
Ahh, well said! I think that’s the beautifully tragic part about this struggle: not wanting to be numb anymore. And blacking out on life. It pains me to see how rampant it is though. But the more I dig to find others who want change, I am pleasantly surprised and relieved that there are actually so many out there. Thank you for your kind words!
Thanks, lady! I’m on my day 3 today! I’d read somewhere, which really feels so so relevant this early on, that while this effort/struggle/journey is our own, we can’t do it alone. We got this, because we got each other. Boom. There’s your morning motivation! 
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Hello all! I’m Christy, 38 years old and mother of 4 children. Although I’ve dabbled with many drugs through the years…alcohol is the one that has its chains on me. Since I was 15…I would have episodes of binge drinking, but about 10 years ago I started drinking more regularly. For years I didn’t see a problem with it. My kids were taken care of, never missed any functions (but that’s not to say I didn’t show up a time or two buzzed or hungover), my house was well kept, I never missed work. But about 2 years ago…I realized I was just a high functioning alcoholic. I’ve tried to control it numerous times and do well for awhile. I even went 30 days without a drink last year. But I always seem to fall back in that same dark hole. I’ve been in a verbally/physically abusive marriage for 12 years and I feel like my excuse to drink was to numb the pain from that. This year alone has been super tough. Dealing with my adult son that has his own addiction problems. He has been arrested twice in 4 months…and was looking at felony charges both times. Thank God they were dropped to misdemeanors! But again…a reason i felt I needed a drink. But I realize thats all it is…a excuse. I have to learn to deal with my problems instead of hiding from them.
I am 6 days sober…I am getting sober for myself but also for my kids. They need me be to be fully present and sober. I have went from toxic relationship to another my whole life and its time for me to become healthy physically and emotionally. I need to set a better example. I’m turning 39 on New Years Eve and I’ve decided I’m spending this New Years with my kids and Sober. I have so many birthdays I can’t remember. I’m going to make the last year of my 30’s the best year!!! Thank you all for reading and your support!! I’m so thankful I have found this group!! 
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Boom! Like a hug to my heart that motivation hit me hard! Im on day 3 too! Aloha, all of my love, and have a beautiful and inspiring day!
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Congrats on starting this wonderful journey of sobriety! It is definitely hard at times but woeth the battle. This forum has amazing people and moving stories who will help you through good and bad days. You can do this!! Also, I am from boulder so it is nice to have a local on here😆
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I feel like I won the lottery with coming across this forum! And its definitely nice to know there is someone closeby in our beautiful state! Sometimes I feel like CO is so drenched in booze - its a party state, especially in Boulder! Kudos to you, CO friend! 
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It sure is. I was the buyer for a liquor store in boulder so booze was plentiful. I also lived in Vail for 3 years, another party zone. But now after nunerous attempts at quiting I am 53 days sober and you can do it too.
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I could copy and paste excerpts from almost everyone’s bio or comments and arrange them in a way that describes myself perfectly. So, perhaps I can be described wholely as little bits of yourself. There is probably not much that sets us apart except for maybe drug of choice and the fact that I live in nature. Not like a log cabin nestled in the woods but more like a thin walled canvassed structure in the middle of a tropical farm complete with bugs as big as my hand, dirt, composting toilet, palm tree shower, and lava rock that I’ve fallen face down drunk on multiple times. Living like this has been an adventure- albeit a drunken one.
I hardwired myself at 16 to cope with life by escaping it. The past 4 years though has been an epic fight for sanity, strength, and justice as I fought not for myself but others close to me. The things I went up against were extremely traumatic, after an already traumatic history, and at the end of the day I would burry myself deep within nature, bottle(s), and pills or whatever I could find to numb the realities of a world that I was growing extremely distant from. I call this my “rabbit hole”, a real Wonderland where everything isn’t as what it seems. A world all my own, hardly palatable let alone understood by others. A place where Wonderland meets Neverland on the Dark Side of the Moon where Strawberry Fields seldom last Forever.
A lifetime of loneliness, confusion, absorbing the pain of others, or that which has been inflicted by others, only being able to cope by drinking it all and isolating within the only thing that makes sense… dirt. I figure if I burry myself here, and cultivate the soil of sobriety, I’ll stop wilting from reacting and absorbing everything and everyone else and maybe blossom into an actual person and not just whatever this is.
I want to go from saying “Cheers” with alcohol and pills to cheering my fellow sober peeps on. We all only have so much energy, so much time, so much life, I want to stop wasting mine. Only the good from now on… I hope. =)
sharing my photo journey on instagram via @naturehippyhi
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Its like we all have been living with this insane debt of addiction, won the lottery of support, and freely share to those who need it! There is a great equalizing here! We give and take and are all richer for it! LOVE IT
How’s the timer doing @Naturehippy? I’m 3 hours away from day 6 which is the longest I’ve done since 87 in the summer. Got some non alcoholic wine which is refreshing and I actually am loving drinking it and not getting drunk. Proof it was a habit. One could argue against drinking it but for me it works and I so don’t want another hangover.
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Timer is GREAT! Day 3. And though that may not seem impressive, it seems like I’ve gained an eternity as my thinking is starting to change. Theres hope for me yet =)
Aloha and all of my “cheers” for a day without substance of choice.
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