Welcome back to sobriety @Red4 
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5months 20 days now!
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I grew up with a very active alcoholic father and a mother who had been sober since before I was born, so clearly in my genes. My childhood was a traumatic one and I couldnāt wait to be 18 and leave. In HS I drank but not really out of controlā¦ I went to college at 18 and didnāt look back, didnāt even go home for holidays. I tried rebuilding a relationship with my father once he got sober but I was always so angry with him. I suffered a traumatic experience in college and ever since then I have been heavily drinking on and off for 13 years. I also used to use cocaine for a period of time but havenāt touched that in a while. I tried therapy in the past and it worked for 2 years and I somehow found myself back out drinking again. Last April, I decided enough was enough and I started attending AA meetings. I was sober almost 10 months when a fellow AA friend died of a heroin overdose after 2 years of sobriety and I was absolutely devastated. My sponsor was the one who told me, she picked up drinking shortly after our friends death and I wasnāt far behind. Itās at a point now where I know I need to stop and be done for good but itās really scary at the same time. Itās easy to know what you have to do but a lot harder to actually do it so Iām still struggling quite a bit. I also have major anxiety and probably a bit of a depression. Sorry for ranting on and on, thank you for taking the time out to read the brief version of my story.
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Sorry for your loss palš. You know the drillā¦ Keep coming back. Trust in your higher power and no matter what, you donāt have to drink
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I have started and restarted this post a hundred times. I have read everything on here about what you should do instead of giving in to your vice. And I get it, the intelligent side of me knows this, but the addict side of me doesnāt care.
My vice is binge drinking. My problem is the addict in me is verrrry good at justifying why I should go have a few beers. Which for me is never just a few beers but more like 6. Then INSTANTLY the next morning is the huge wave of regret.
sigh
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Hi. Iām Chris. Iām a 20 year old college student. I have been struggling with porn addiction.
My story is a bit long so Iāll just stick with my introduction for now. If anyone has questions regarding my addiction or wanting to know me better feel free to ask. Ill answer them honestly.
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Hi all. My name is Chelsey, new to trying a sobriety group online. Only been sober for two days. Been an alcoholic in and out of relapses for years. Things got pretty dangerous my last binge. I want to be sober, but the struggle is real. #withdrawlsucks
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At first for me it was sporadic drinking, just whenever I felt like it. My drinking life really got started when I joined the Navy. Like I said sporadic, but mostly weekends. When I was in boot camp of course I couldnāt drink, but my company commander noticed something about me I didnāt even know and I didnāt think he was right at first but I kinda do now. He somehow knew I was afraid of failure, how he knew I donāt, but as time when on it became stronger. Now Iāll tell you looking back on my career I wasnāt a screwup. I was the exact opposite . couldnāt see it then though. This is going to be a long story I see. You might wanna bail nowš I said I wasnāt a screwup but now I realize Iām human. Hereās an example. Iāll say this first, I was raised with guns. My Dad taught me early on to respect weapons and how to use them but I never shot a pistol. They told us we could get our first medal if we qualified. OK I thought, really wasnāt interested in medals but OK. I started blowing the middle out of that target. Iām almost positive my CC was watching now, but he wasnāt in charge of this event. The next thing I know thereās a first class petty officer at my elbow. I couldnāt understand what he was saying because of the hearing protection so I turned my head to look at him. That gun didnāt waver more than a couple of inches off the target Iām sure now as I was then. You donāt argue with authority though, not with a gun in your hand especially. He said give me that and took the weapon, put me at parade rest facing away from the line of fire . I was confused but said nothing, I had failed but I could and would stand at parade rest. Chief McDonald, my CC, came over and looked me in the face from about 20 feet. I couldnāt meet his eye. Thatās all he ever did with me, others he would scream, yell and send to punishment. He never said a bad word to me. Iāve never thought anything about that or this incidence until today. 35 years later. Nobody got a medal that day. Chief McDonald near the end of boot camp ran beside me. In a voice that carried but to no one in particular he said " I think someoneās afraid screwing up" I smiled. I almost laughed. I canāt remember exactly what I thought then but It must have not penetrated. Today I realize he was warning me. He told my Dad at my graduation but Dad didnāt tell me until several years after I retired. It didnāt penetrate then either. More later on how drinking and fear go together. Thanks for sticking. Stay sober.
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Hi @NeshKun. Nice to have you here! Thanks @Charlie_C for the heads up. From one PA to another, I know how you feel. Bless you for being so young and taking on this endeavor. Most people wait until they are twice your age before coming to the decision to reach out for support. Sorry it took awhile to respond. Iāve been away for a couple of days. Thanks for sharing.
No clue if Iām doing this rightā¦ but here I go.
My name is Sky and Iām 28. Iāve been sober since May 18th '17. Iāve been struggling with alcohol, cannabis and cocaineā¦ but I took anything that was being offered really.
I grew up in Northern Europe with my alcoholic mother and a dad with a mental problem. I also have six other sisters. If it wasnāt for themā¦ I probably wouldnāt had lived throught my childhood.
I never wanted to drink, I never wanted to be like my mom. But I found something instead, cannabisā¦ my mom never smoked weed so I thought I was golden. I guess you can figure out that everything went downhill after that. I started drinking and doing other drugs.
Iāve tried to be sober few times before, but never bothered working for it and this time something has changedā¦ I admitted I had a problem to everybody I know, and more importantly, I admitted it to myself. Iāve been going on meetings twice a day and I bought the AA book and I read in it every night.
This time sure is different, I feel positive, Iām happy and I believe I have a good thing going here .I actually enjoy doing healthy things, things I couldnāt enjoy before. Itās been a full-time job being sober, I canāt deny it, and itās been hard, but when I look backā¦ being out there was so much harder.
I realize now that this disease I have is predictableā¦ I can stay two steps ahead of it if I do what I have to do, if I donātā¦ itāll catch me and Iām out there again.
Anyway, sorry for the long post. Thank you so much for this community and Iām really happy to be here with all of you.
SkyāØ
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Keep climbing donāt give up
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Hi Iām Antonette, trying to get through day 1 today. I havenāt used a forum before but all the inspirational and relatable posts are giving me hope.
My addiction is alcohol. I canāt believe Iām writing that. Iāve been sticking my head in the sand for too long. Time to tackle this head on. Any tips for me are more than welcomed.
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Thatās really the only u can deal with addiction. Just hit it head on. Donāt feel ashamed to talk about ur addition. If I can talk about my pornography addition then u most certainly can talk about ur addition. Ur addition is not who u are. It is a part of u but it does not define u.
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Youāre in the right place! Lots of support here for you. Especially from the girls. Youāll like them 
Iāll tell you got me thru day 1 and the 116 that followed. It was an AA meeting.
Keep coming back pal! I know u can do this!
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Here we are all about open honesty. If u have a problem or need advice we will happily help u without judging.
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Youāre not alone @Antonette_Tanya, weāve all been there, heads firmly planted in the sand.
Thereās a huge amount of advice available to you on the forum.
All I can tell you is that, depending upon how far down the rabbit hole you are, itās going to take time to pull yourself out of it. And your worst enemyās going to be yourself for some time.
Keep busy, mentally and physically, avoid triggers until youāre strong enough, concentrate on you, be selfish. Thereās no instant gratification, itās just a hard slog for a while.
There are many rewards and they come one by one but the most subtle - something I never thought could happen again - getting through a whole day without any urge to drink. Thatās reward enough for me.
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I went to my first AA meeting yesterday and it was so wonderful to see other people going through the same struggles. I found myself nodding and agreeing with so much of what was being said. I already want to go back.
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Thank you for for the advice. Trying my very best to keep busy. But I find myself having triggers that I didnāt anticipate. Got a promotion today and all I want to do right now is have a drink to celebrate.
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Thatās great to hear!! Early on, I was so suprised that everyoneās story was my story. Not exact, but close.
Iām very happy for youš
I totally understand - and I have been there.
Itās just habit, itās because itās what youāve done, everytime something good or bad happens, or because itās Friday, or a Holiday or after 7pm, and then eventually itās to get you through the day, to sleep and ā¦well, as I said, the rabbit holeās deep.
Just a habit, keep that in mind. And EVERY time you get to the trigger point and DONāT do what habit dictates, you rewire yourself, change the circuit, run the new path.
Believe this - one day you will drive to a bar, gig, club, spend hours with friends, laugh, have fun Sober, enjoy yourself, drive home, get a good nightās sleep and wake up feeling great.
All of the old habits will have been turned on their heads and YOU will be in control of your life.
You do need to put the work in now though @Antonette_Tanya.
Fantastic to hear the AA meeting went well!
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