I’m Ju. That’s not my real name but that doesn’t matter. I’m 20 years old, and I have struggled with substance problems since 15. For the past 5 years I have tried about 20 different drugs, including but not limited to lsd, weed, opiates, benzodiazepines, 25i-nbome, doc, etc. etc. It starts out cool, you think you’re in control (“I won’t end up like in the movies or those freaks you see on the street”), then shit starts to snowball and before you know it you’ve got a bigger problem than you know how to deal with. Depression, anxiety, depersonalization, suicidal thoughts, borderline psychotic episodes, obsessions, racing thoughts, the list goes. I’m scared. I’ve struggled with mental issues since I was only a child, which leads me to believe all this monkey business is a form of self medicating. Whatever, I’m stoned, drunk and zombied on the benz. Sobriety starts tomorrow, wish me luck.