Hello everyone. I’m new and find power in writing and want to share my story and hope it inspires others or you can feel some sort of relateability. If it helps just one person, I am grateful. This is by no means meant to boster any accomplishments, but to show that you never know what a person is going through. I only say these things because to me, it “justified” my addiction. I had terrible self-esteem, anxiety, depression, fear and no self-worth.
I started my journey with alcohol and drugs when I was 15 in high school. It was my choice, even though I liked to have thought it was from my accident. I had been shot twice when I was 14 and should have died.By the grace of god I didn’t. I was able to have a job from 15, to my age now of 28. I graduated highschool, received all A’s, played baseball, basketball, lacrosse, volleyball, football and track during my H.S career. During all this, I drank every morning concealed in my coffee and smoked. I went on to college to play baseball, where I ultimately got kicked off for smoking and drinking. This didn’t stop me in one bit, rather I had found an excuse to party more. Being the genius that I was (not) I joined a frat to keep the party going. Now, being the party animal meant being treated like a king. This only fueled my issues more and more. Rather then looking in the mirror, I ran everyday from myself. It turns out, no matter who you push away, or person, place or things you run from, you will always know inside. That shame and guilt only intensified the more I pushed it down, until I would burst. This led to me doing anything, and I mean anything, anywhere, anytime to escape myself. This was and is insanity. Somehow, I still met all my obligations and recieved dean’s list throughout my collegiate career and graduated with my bachelor’s. After graduating, I had trouble finding a better job then the one I was in. One more career oriented. This made me spiral into depression. I thought if I only had this, or that, or my “dream job” I would be happy. Well, I eventually got my dream job and more than I could ever have asked for. I recieved my masters degree with high marks and I justified my addiction with this. “Well, how could I do all this if I was an addict or alcoholic?” I was conditioned to it. I self medicated. If I was tired, I did something to wake me up. If I was too awake, I did something to slow me down. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It wasn’t until I hit my own rock bottom that I realized it. Almost dying and seeing my friends die wasn’t enough. I needed my justifications to be gone.
Today, I am only 1 month and 6 days sober. This is the hardest and most rewarding thing I have done and accomplished thus far. I needed, and still need, rehab, a physchiatrist, self-help books, meditating, working out, praying and going to meetings to help. My perception is changing. I only fixated on negatives. Now I try to be humble, show,gratitude and thank god everyday while living in the moment. I pray for the courage and strength to keep this going.
Ghandi once said, “You can be mad that a rose has thorns, or grateful thorns have roses”. I hope this helps you as it has helped me. Thank you for reading.
Hi Im new here. Ive been clean for a little over 2 years after a 38 year run on meth and 4 and a half years of using roxies during the end of that run. I went to an inpatient treatment facility and after that I was in a sober living home for 1 year. Its been about a year since i left there. I was a functioning addict.
As i mother hooked on meth, when my 2 sons grew up they became heroin addicts. I was high so i couldnt tell them not to use. And even if i did they wouldnt have stopped. Our house was completely out of control towards the end and was eventually raided. I just realized right now that tomorrow marks 3 years since the raid!!! And 3 years since i last used opiates!!!
So My oldest was so bad he nearly lost his arms due to a horrible MRSA infection.
Eventually he and i went into treatment Nov 2 2015. And a few days later his little brother was arrested and came out of jail clean 45 days later.
Fastforward to present day. We are all still clean. My oldest works in a drug detox. My other son is an iron worker. All got our licenses back.
Im keeping myself busy working and building a car in my spare time. Ive distanced myself from all my old contacts and get to NA and AA meetings when i can. I realized in trmt that the drugs and alcohol were only a symptom of what was going on inside. I tried to dump as much of that out and forgive myself. I feel we have been given a second chance at life. All i know is i want a simple life with no drama. Seems to be working so far. One day at a time!
Hi, my name is Anita, and I am an alcoholic.
I grew up in a home with a father who was an alcoholic and a mother who was addicted to codeine. I was painfully shy and let fear dictate every aspect of my life. I had my first taste of vodka when i was 16. And for the first time in my life felt “normal” . I was sexually abused as a child and then sexually assaulted as a young adult. I drank off an on for many years. I could stay sober for months or years… so i didn’t feel like i had a problem. I found myself in one shitty relationship after another. 7 years ago i ended up in my last relationship. I thought this would be forever… but instead, i found myself in a relationship with someone who is bipolar. Now my “controlled” drinking turned into binge drinking, which turned into every day drinking. I felt like i was still functioning, and had control over the situation. But the last year the alcohol started controlling me instead. By the end I was drinking 1 bottle of vodka a day. I was drinking all day at work and continued until i passed out at night. I was so tired of waking up alive the next morning!!! My friend/boss sent me to a self-improvement seminar mid november, and we were not allowed any alcohol during the 5 day program… let me tell you… going through withdrawal and dealing with heavy emotional stuff at the same time sucks!!! The 4th day of the seminar, the offered an AA and Alanon meeting for anyone who felt they could benefit… i decided to go that morning… and it changed my life!!! So here i am 59 days later… embarking on a new journey. One of self improvement and sobriety, learning to live one day at a time!
I’m exactly in the same condition…try AA or/and NA , it s very helpfull for me ! And say goodby to your "cocaine " friends , it is definitely crucial. Stay strong
Hi I’m rich fifteen days into my recovery its easier now but with twenty years fighting either heroin or crack feels like a massive hill to climb
I’m 33 years old, happily married with several kiddos. I just recently became an assistant bakery manager and love it.
I’m here tho not to brag but to seek help from others in my shoes because I’m an alcoholic. I feel like I’m about to lose everything. I’m here to get better and heal.
How are you doing ?
Having this Great app is very helpfull to me , er all here with same reason , the chance of gain a better life in every way 
hope u are ok
Welcome, Cris 
! I’m 33 too and have many fur kiddos. Glad you’re here.
Hello everyone I’m Linda from Kentucky and I’m ready to lose the booze I’ve stopped a nasty cigarette habit and haven’t had a cigarette in 12 days the alcohol gonna be the worst though
No booze in 24 hrs
Way to go, one step at a time.
That is what bothered me to day as I have a friend that knows I’m trying to quite drinking. Every day he ask me to drink 
. I had to tell him that he had a problem to try to get me to drink.
Hang in there just say nooo
Thanks for your concern.
Hello everyone! I am 28 years old woman from Finland. I have serious gambling problem. I have struggled with gambling for a while. It almost ruined my whole life. It has been so bad that I almost committed suicide. I also have diagnosed ADHD so I am very likely to get addiction. Now I have been one week “sober”, without gambling. And I think I can do it! I want my life back. I use naltrexone, which is used to treat alcohol and drug use disorders, but it can be also useful in my case. My addiction is very bad. Wish the best for you all!
Best of luck to you please don’t give up on yourself u can do it , do things to advert yourself from your addiction that’s what I’ve been trying to do Good bless you on this glorious day😇
Hi, I prey for you for the better stay strong ! God loves you
Congrats on your decision to do something about your problem !! Don’t dwell on the past just look to the future it will be so much better with a clear head !!! Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need help you are not alone!!!
My mom was a gambler and she was good at it to a point, she had games on for 3 days 24hr non stop ( rotating players). Her gambling cost or family 3 house that she lost and caused lot of problem in between my father and her. At the end of her life she said the majority of people are never ahead of the game unless your in the 1 percent thats making a killing or the 8 present making a living and the rest are losers. I hope nothing but the best recovery.