Thank you. Appreciate the kind words.
U are so welcome , i do really mean that. im paying it forward as the program do for me. And thank u for helping me as well by sharing is helping without a doubt . Im wishing u a great day im off to meeting 
.
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Thereās an 18 year old that is a regular at my AA meetings, so donāt feel silly about being 21. Addiction does not discriminate! Just be glad you are catching it now when you have a full life of opportunities ahead of you. In hindsight I was an addict at 21 but I really just thought it was"typical" behavior for that age. I could have been arrested, injured, killed so many times itās ridiculous now that I look back. Welcome and I wish you the best on your journey!
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What up sober peeps!? Im Matt, a 29 year old opiate addict for 10 or so years. Like most, started with prescription pain meds. Well those eventually led me to the harder stuff. Never thought Iād be that guy. Between my labor intensive job I kept using to numb the pain. I thought at the time with using Iād work faster, longer, and make more income. I may have but the every day grind of seeking out more became too much. Now my body is beat up from numbing all this time. Iām currently living in a sober living house as of 8 months ago. They extended a hand and gave me a chance. Iām very greatfull for the people in my life and this forum especially. So thanks to all yous guys for sharing experiences. One day At a time
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So, I am back again. Alcohol and cocaine are my demons. I never do cocaine without alcohol. So guess that the alcohol is what I need to work on. Every weekend I drink till Iām blackout drunk, make a twat of myself and become the most selfish person. Then comes the cocaine. Stay awake till stupid o clock in the morning, sometimes days. Then Iām good for nothing the following day. Constantly letting down my 2 children. Itās normal for them to see me hungover. How sad is that. It breaks my heart. I try over and over to stay sober. Donāt normally get past 2 weeks. It affects me mentally and physically. Iāve thought about suicide several times. My Dad passed away 6 years ago because of alcohol. I was sexually abused as a child by alcoholic step dad. I have to make this work. Before my children grow up and time runs out.
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Hello,
Iām Ty 27 Years old, I have an addiction issue that seems to always find a way to show itās ugly head.
Primarily alchohol.
This is my first time doing day 1
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Hey , I can relate. Iām not well enough equipped to give any advice myself yet.
I just wanted to ask if you knew about the 12 step programme.
I myself am not a religious person and therefore found the Russell brand book ārecoveryā which is just the 12 steps without the preachy God stuff very useful.
I hope you feel better soon.
Hello,we are on same page.to get through day without drinking is no issue at all.but its evening almost and thats my timeā¦keep strong and lets win day 1.
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Hi everyone my name is Jane and Iām 44 recently divorced (not my choice) Ironically I used to never take any opiate based drug for pain as they would make me feel woosy and I didnāt like the feeling. Fast forward 5 years and I injure my back and Iām put on tramadol, codeine 30mg and dihydrocodeine 30mg. At first wow they really helped with the pain and it was all fun and games until I realised I was taking them on the days I didnāt have pain or finding a pain somewhere to use as an excuse. I grew up in the UK in the 80ās where we had this scare you Ā£&#+less as campaign about heroin that made you never even want to look at the stuff. Little did I realise my drug of choice was in the same family.
Fast forward 6 years and Iām taking them for emotional pain in a difficult marriage. Now Iām divorced I feel like a weight lifted (even though itās been the hardest 12 months of my life after 16 years married) I now want to get clean for me and my son, instead of the recommended dose of 60mg 4x a day, I was taking 4x that or more. My GP keeps handing them out like sweets as many repeat prescriptions as I need, but as long as itās lining the pockets of big pharmaceutical he doesnt care. So here I am, day 3 and Iām tapering off and so far all ok.
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I have always found that the things I hide are the thibgs I need to work on the most. I once told my therapist that and now she asks me point blank- what are you hiding? What are you too ashamed about to talk to me about? What can you not bring yourself to say out loud?
Whatās the worse that can happen if you talk about it? You might as well try since hiding it hasnāt seemed to work
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Hi @NewMe84 . I can totally relate. It always starts with alcohol for me. Then after a few rounds I had to make sure i get my bag of coke - use to call it my reset button. Then i would keep drinking sometimes for 3 days without sleeping, without eatingā¦ just coke and booze. Crazy! This started affecting my job, my family. It would take me 2 days i bed to recover and be fully functional. So i was basically intoxicated 3 days a week then recovering for 2 daysā¦ there goes my week ; sucha waste of my life, so selfdestructive.
I realized - thank god before losing everything - thay I needed help and thatās when i walked in my 1st AA meeting. There i found the support to help keep sober. Walking the 12steps has been life changing for me. I would suggest giving it a tryā¦
Thereās also this forum that i think is a great tool; accessible to us all to help maintain focus, share our stories and find support. Checking dailyā¦ we will be glad to have you join us in this journey. Welcome!
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So I started drinking at a work function. My first drink was a tequilla and i threw up all over myself. After that i would drink and smoke with the receptionist at work. My supervisor would say stop smoking and i would lie and say i dont. I didnt realise how strong the smell was. I started to crave the tipsy sensation and smoking more and more. I went into relationships with people with whom i could feed my desire with the facade of its the other person who somehow enables me. I started living on my own and it got worse. I would buy bottles (often several times through the night) and packets of cigarettes. I would lie to shops and say its for my bf even tho i had no reason to. I was of legal age to buy. I didnt want to accept i was doing something i was ashamed of. I would hide away in my apartment and get very drunk. Sometimes id throw up and then continue. Sometimes id wake up and have a sip of wine, or just start drinking for the day, continuing into the night until i fell asleep. I lost my family during the time as i didnt want to live with them. I liked my space (they didnt know about my drinking or smoking). The people i dated were terribly bad influence but id stay in those relationships feeling sorry for myself and in some way in my head punishing my dad for treating mum badly. Anyway, several drunken smoking nights.
It wained off over the last yr, i got quite sick. I had a major scare as was sent to cancer clinic for some tests. I avoided drinking or smoking but sometimes temptation took over. I have not been like i was couole years ago for several months.
Yesterday the temptation struck. I went and bohght pkt of cigarettes (hadnt in atleast 6 months or so), drank 2.5 bottles of wine. I couldnt get through even half a cigarette. I tried three then stopped.
I dont want to drink alone and i want to quit smoking completely. Thatās my goal.
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So, I am on day 25 and I am really proud of myself. I initially decided to give up alcohol up for the Lent season but I am thinking, why would I start again after April 1st???
I havenāt had withdrawals or any nagging cravings? Is this normal? I used to drink about 5 days a week and for more than 20 years but I am tired of how it I feel the next day, the lack of control and how much it is in my everyday life.
I love how I have gained the control back, this is the longest I have ever quit drinking, the most has been 10 days. Life is different for sure and I feel like I am trying to relearn how to do things again without alcohol. I realized I had never been intimate with my partner(4 years) without alcohol, so this is taking some adjusting.
I question myself am I fun anymore? Ive always been the life of the party and hosted most pre parties or sporting events at my house, cooking and providing the Alcohol. Some friends still come over and they know I am giving up booze for lent and are supportive but I question will I be strong after April 1st.
I have always had good will power but I am afraid what will happen after the lent season is over as that was the purpose. How do I motivate myself to just keep going? I know the benefits of giving up the drink, alcoholism runs in my family and I need to repair my liver. I also know that if I have one drink on easter to end the fast, I will continue to drink.
I want to continue to being sober, I need another goal set, I am a goal orientated person so does anyone have any advice.
I want this sober life, its like a new me and Ive lost so many years that have been induced with alcohol and I want it back or want the next 20 years to be clear.
I signed up on this a while back and I guess I just didnāt take this seriously and I am ready to make that commitment. I have read so many great stories but I am worried that this " Rock Bottom" has not hit me or maybe it has and I just havenāt realized it. I will log on daily for inspiration from all of you with your amazing stories, I am in awe and so proud of you all.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated and thank you in advance.
Lavina
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Iām a heroin addict! 
Hi all! Iām Emily. Iām 24 years old and originally from New Jersey but have since moved to Flagstaff, Arizona. It never occurred to me that I was an alcoholic until my boyfriend broke up with me because I stole alcohol from his parents liquor cabinet. That was almost a year ago and now my life has taken a different turn.
I started going to meetings in December after I had a relapse. And while itās definitely been up and down, itās great to know that with this forum and the people Iāve met, Iām not alone.
I never saw a problem with my drinking because I had nothing to really base it off of. My sister, brother, ex boyfriend and some friends of mine all drink to excess. So why couldnāt I? It was only until I met my current boyfriend that I started to see a problem. And honestly Iām so happy I met him. He showed me a different way. A clean healthy lifestyle. He had problems with drinking and cocaine but quit and never went back. I want to be like that. I feel like this could be my chance at something great. I want to go back to school and get my degree. Maybe not in classical opera like my original plan but psychology would be fun!
Also I feel like I actually have hope for the first time in my life. Iām capable of doing something right. Its a great feeling and its because of everyone Iāve met and communicated with. Thanks everyone.
Sorry that became than I expected!! 
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Iām Wes. 34 y/o. Canāt stop drinking and itās killing my health. I feel terrible everyday. Not sure what to do. Drinking just to make myself feel better. I get to the point where Iām ok but then go overboard and itās a big repeating process everyday.
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Iām not really sure where to start. Iāve never really been a social talker, but Iāve got questions at this point. My name is Nick and Iām 23. Iāve been drinking noticeable amounts of liquor daily for a while now, probably a couple years. Iāve gotten used to going home and pouring a drink. Normally itās just a straight rum in a glass to sip on. Sometimes I feel like Iām not addicted and I could just stop, but I donāt. Which is why Iām here. The bottle seems to be running out faster every time I buy it. I donāt get hungover. I donāt drink until I pass out. I donāt believe I get aggressive. I believe the term would be āfunctioning alcoholicā. I just drink about 2-3 glasses every day after work. Iāve quit at times like this when I notice Iām going through a large amount in a short time just to cut myself back, though it a struggle. I normally will stop for a month or so and figure I can handle it again because my tolerance is back down. However, every time Iāve gone back it just ends up going back to 2-3 every day. This time seems harder to say no. I see there is a pattern, I just havenāt figured out what to do at this point. Should I just stop? I think Iām addicted, but I see people that are struggling way more than I am. Iāve read itās bad to compare because everyone is different. Iām just kinda confused on what the next step should be. I downloaded the app a few days ago and I love the motivation of seeing how long since my last drink. I was 3 hours short of 48 hours and my head decided āitās not that bad. You donāt drink that much. 1 drink is okayā. Iāve heard ānever have the first drinkā, but I did. I had to reset my time and at this point Iām just curious to know what people think of my situation. This post alone is a big step for me. Please donāt recommend AA or talking to a therapist. Iām not comfortable enough for that yet, though Iāve only heard good things about AA. I just need some slight guidance and motivation at this point. I want to quit because in the end I know everything will be better.
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I could have written that exact post a year ago. But in the last year, itās gone from 2-3 a night to 4-6 a night, and way more on weekends. I should emphasize that I donāt black out or pass out, and I donāt get hangovers, and I havenāt gotten a DUI, or lost my job, or gotten aggressive, or distant, or hurt my relationships. What spurred me to go through recovery is my liver. Drinking everyday, even 2-3, is really hard on your liver. I went to a recovery place when I found out my liver enzymes were elevated (indicating liver damage), and they diagnosed me with severe alcoholism. I was shocked, because I donāt think of myself as a āsevereā alcoholic. I am a very high functioning alcoholic. I have a BS, an MS, and a PhD. I teach college biology. I have many publications, and have won fellowships. And I drank daily through all of it. When I found out about my liver 6 months ago, I cut went to a recovery center, and have been seeing a counselor once a week since September. I cut back on drinking (one each weeknight, 2 each weekend night, never before 5:00). Those were my goals. I didnāt always stick to them. I went some days without drinking (but could never go more than two days in a row), but some days I drank 8-10. Again, never blacking out or passing out, never missing work, never drunk at work, and never driving.
Last week, we found out that a little girl we care about very much is becoming adoptable. We are licensed adoptive and foster parents, although we donāt have any placements or kids right now. She wouldnāt be adoptable for many months, but we want to throw our hats in the ring. I realized that, for her sake, it would be best if I have been sober for months by the time she would come to our home. So thatās my current strongest motivation, which spurred me to quit drinking all together. This is my 6th day not drinking. I havenāt gone six days without drinking for decades, which says something in itself. It actually hasnāt been too bad so far.
I think what Iām saying to you, Nick, is that if youāre drinking daily, and have a hard time not drinking, you might start really considering whether you have a problem, that needs to be solved before things get worse. I am so grateful that Iām getting help before really having anything horrible happen. I know you said not to suggest AA or a therapist, but Iām just telling you that your story sounds like mine a year ago, and I think itās really helped me to get help. I donāt know that my advice holds the most weight, given that this is only my sixth day sober, but if it scares you or makes you uncomfortable, or sad to think of going a week without drinking, you may have an issue to address. You have to be ready though.
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Thank u for sharing : only you can decide to quit the drinking. You are the most important in your life . U say functional alcoholic ok. So the drinking does not ruin your work, your social life , the ones that are closest to you ? What about your body , organs ok . ? Im just asking , dont want u to be offended if so im sorry . Anyway im glad u are here and welcome . Im aware there are many
Thank you for your response. Honestly just knowing someone else has ābeen thereā makes a difference. Thinking about it, 6 days without a drink would definitely bother me. The thought alone does. So Congratulations on your accomplishment so far. I definitely feel like this is an issue to address before it becomes the 4-6 a night as you said. Again thank you for your input.
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