Yes, by functional alcoholic I mean that it doesn’t seem to be effecting my day to day responsibilities. The health is the big reason I’d like to stop. The occasional pain and the effect it’s having on my teeth doesn’t seem worth it. But when I get the urges, that stuff doesn’t matter. It’s like a self destruction that doesn’t bother me when I want to drink, though I know it’s a problem.
You’re welcome, Nick. I hope you figure this out. I spent quite a few years “joking” that I was an alcoholic. Even now, it is hard for me to accept that there is really a problem, other than my liver. Part of me knows there’s a problem, but part of me thinks if I can just get my liver numbers down by cutting down on drinking, the problem is solved. But it’s really bigger than that. I can’t tell you that quitting is the right thing for you. It will probably take time for you to really accept that there’s a problem, and even more time that you need help to fix it. I’m here for you. I’d like to keep hearing how you’re doing. Please stay on this forum, and keep us updated. Definitely no judgement from me, no matter how you proceed.
1 Like
Hello!
My sober date is 3/27/2017. Tomorrow will be 1 year sober and I cannot believe I made it to 1 year especially since I don’t have a sponsor, haven’t worked the steps a d have not attended meetings weekly.
Anyway, my journey to get sober started 1 year ago when I had called a treatment center to check myself in. I had gotten to the point of drinking every day and not going more than 2 days without alcohol. My desire to get go the blackout stage was greater than anything else. The cycle of my behavior was horrible and I began to loath myself, lie to everyone around me and isolate myself. All I could think about was when I get to have my next drink. The worst part of it all was how it affected my kids. I was drinking so much I craved it every second of the day. On 3/27/2017 I walked into detox and my entire life changed. I still struggle with acceptance of my past, the wreckage and damaged I caused. Instead of running from it, I sit in meditation, welcome it and release it. I am forever grateful to the treatment center I went to. I never think for 1 second that I got this. I wake up every morning grateful to be sober. Recovery is a lifelong process that I acknowledge and remind myself slow, and steady, one day and often one minute at a time. It’s not a race its a lifestyle.
Thank you for allowing me to share my story.
4 Likes
Addictions are more prevalent since the internet and fastpace world we live in. Impatient and instant gratification is the main poblem for addicts . It’s like an impulse buy when shoppig… Prayers for patience and clarity and consideration for others is my main focus!!!
Greetings from Cleveland, OH! I first got sober from alcohol seven years ago. My drinking negatively impacted my marriage (we divorced), my mental health, my self-esteem and my weight. I was sober for five years, relapsed after a failed relationship and have been drnking on and off again for the past year. I recently reconnected with my substance use counselor and have been participating in Refuge Recovery, a recovery program based on mindfulness, meditation and Buddhist principles. My name is Don and I am a 48 year old gay man who has a great job, a new BF and a lot of reasons to stay healthy and sober yet I have been struggling with my motivation to not drink. Finding this app and forum is.well timed and I love that there are people here from all over the world. I really don’t want to keep resetting my sobriety clock and am working with my therapist to prevent that from happening. And I know connecting with other people is an important part of that.
5 Likes
It’s now been over seventy days clean I’m seven weeks off getting my kifs home with me the serenity prayer has helped me so much and an amazing support network consisting of f.d.a.c team family drugs and alcohol court in Leeds uk. And pauline Murphy my counsellor at East Riding Partnership I now see my children unsupervised three times a week and I’m looking for a home for myself and boys roll on 17th of may
3 Likes
Hi. My name is Paige. I am from North Carolina and I just reached my 80 day sober today. I lost everything on January 10, 2018 when my husband had to go to jail. We we’re both addicted to pain killers. Our pill of choice was methadone. When I lost him for 108 days, I knew it was time to stop. I feel amazing and I take it one day at a time. That is the only way to take it. I am glad I found this app. I also have turned to God. The verse I live by is Phillipians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I am here if anyone needs someone to talk to. Thank you.
3 Likes
Hello. My name is Nicholas Bain. I am a disabled veteran who struggles woth severe PTSD and i have resorted to Gambling as my primary addiction. I thought i was never doing any harm to anyone but found out that was the furthest thing from being true. I lost 1 wife a whole family, two vehicles, self respect, my home and now am starting from scratch at the age of 28 years old. I am 22 days sober and am happy to be taking the right steps in my sobriety. I am always willing to take advice from others and learn but at the same time am willing to listen to others and help out as much as i can in everyones recovery as well. We are all in this together regardless of addictions we have. Much Love to all of you.
3 Likes
Hello Volatile…
I have nearly the same story but my drug of choice was meth amphetamine and also tried and used anything and everything. My story is long.
I have been sober from drugs and alcohol for 13 years. I am still coming higher (sanctification) and am part of this group to help me overcome a different addiction. Anger is one of them. So, although I am “sober”, I am still recovering from many other addictions I am finding as well as self pity.
Anyway, I wanted to encourage you that God is your best friend. God is reliable and has the best advice. Sometimes God will use others to speak to us… Sometimes He is quiet and often seems that He doesn’t hear or care at all. This is the time it requires faith that He is there and you must press on. He is the only One who cares for you really because our fellow man sucks at it ultimately.
As far as finding your direction, especially as it pertains to work and all… for me, God required me to be diligent for many years. I had no idea of the path that I was on but I know He asked me to trust in Him. He may have never even approved of your major… He may have something better for you or, as far as natural eyes perceive things, if you are one who is looking for riches, He may have something worse for you. Some people are addicted to making money. See, that’s what we tend to do is switch from one addiction to the next. I’m not saying that you are addicted to money… I’m just suggesting that you look for what God is doing. Remember, there is, as it should be, a reaping what we have sewn. There are rewards, good or bad, for our behavior and like a good friend, God doesn’t rescue us but asks us to get off of our duffs, seek Him first and do the work. Weather you are a Christian or not, (I am), I think it does everyone good to consider the book and person of Job in the Bible. You probably know the story. We dont deserve anything, even if all we do or have done is good in our lives. Another book in the Bible I’d recommend is the book of Esther. It, I think has a good example of Gods grace and in the way that the king deals with and loves Esther… well it’s a beautiful relationship. God is never even mentioned in all of its writings but it is the relationship between 3 people that is interesting… Esther, the king, and Esther’s uncle. Very good. Then, there is also the Devil in it who seeks to destroy.
Anyway, Gods hand is not short. He wants to work in every mans/ womans life. The self willed and self promoting ones, the arrogant ones, the self loving ones, He is far away from… Actually, they choose to be far away from him.
God has led me down a long road. I have had my own business now for nearly 4 years. My wife and I are pushing forward and are pursuing a way in which how to start a non profit in the Philippines to help women get out of prostitution. For them, it is a way to make money so they can support their families. How to combat it… I am not sure but I am trusting that God is in it and so we are seeking Him by prayer to have Him work out the details. My life, ever since getting sober which involved confessing my life had become unmanageable, has been a roller coaster ride. With its ups and downs, Its 3 steps forward and 2 steps back… Sometimes I felt like giving up but the alternative was not an option and where could I go? I trusted that I was seeking the One who could move mountains on my behalf, and He has. His only requirement is that I accept His Son in being the Great Sacrifice for my sin. We all like sheep have gone astray. The past 13 years have been, as I look back from here, a beautiful journey and has had with it it’s time of terrible and even horrible trials. But as I have pressed on… I am not the same man as I once was. I hope this is an encouragement to you. As we are celebrating this Good Friday and resurrection weekend, May God bless you as you move through this life. Getting sober from drugs is the best thing you will have done or could ever do for yourself. If you are able to see clearly now, you will see that … You are loved with Everlasting Love
1
Loved with everlasting love,
Led by grace that love to know;
Spirit, breathing from above,
Thou hast taught me it is so.
Oh, this full and perfect peace!
Oh, this transport all divine!
In a love which cannot cease,
I am His, and He is mine.
2
Heaven above is softer blue,
Earth around is sweeter green;
Something lives in every hue
Christless eyes have never seen:
Birds with gladder songs o’erflow,
Flow’rs with deeper beauties shine,
Since I know, as now I know,
I am His, and He is mine.
3
Things that once were wild alarms
Cannot now disturb my rest;
Closed in everlasting arms,
Pillowed on the loving breast.
Oh, to lie forever here,
Doubt and care and self resign,
While He whispers in my ear,
I am His, and He is mine.
4
His forever, only His:
Who the Lord and me shall part?
Ah, with what a rest of bliss
Christ can fill the loving heart.
Heaven and earth may fade and flee,
Firstborn light in gloom decline;
But, while God and I shall be,
I am His, and He is mine.
Hi… I’m also trying to stop drinking. Has this community helped?
1 Like
My name is Phillip I’m 45 single dad. Have began a drinking habit and want to stop. I live in Oklahoma
Hi… I’ve done time in prison due to meth. But I did my time and have been meth free for over 13 yrs… I was fortunate to have a job to get out to. Was able to get on my feet and have 2 daughter’s on my own. Now im fighting alcohol addiction. Im here for support. To not do this alone and also to help and share advice and wisdom.
I’m having the same struggle
Welcome. Disabled Vet here, no PTSD, just really hard of hearing. First Gulf War. Alcohol was my DOC. 120 days since the last drink I will ever take. Any questions, just ask. Lots of wisdom on this forum.
2 Likes
My name is ngareta but my friends call me peach. Im from New Zealand. I have had a multitude of addictions my first was codeine which started when i was 12 and was prescribed it for a slipped disc in my back. From there i went on to any painkiller or opiate/opioid i could get my hands on. I also started drinking at around the same time bourbon was my drink of choice and i binge drank for years before it got to the point where my boyfriend, my friend my brother and i would drink everyday from the time we woke up( have a few before work) to the time we went to sleep or passed out more accuratley. I struggled with booze the most but im the last 6 months have been trying to take control over my drinking. I started smoking amphetimines and using alot of mdma to stop myself drinking when out which worked for a bit until i got hooked in amphetimines and started drinking again. Not a good look. 2 of My close friends basicly intervened and took me to a Dr. The Dr wants me to go to inpatient rehab but i dont want that. Im trying on my own. Im sober 15days now. Ive had 2 resets since joining the app but im still going strong and feeling good. Thanks for letting me share with you all 
3 Likes
Thank you for that Nikki78. Good luck with your journey.x.
Hello my name is Melanie I’m 25 years old and I’m an addict. I have been struggling with addiction since I was 15 years old I used from 2009 to Feb of 2011 when I found out I was preg with my oldest daughter, she saved my life, she will be 7 in october. I was clean until July 7 ,2013 when I went through my first real heart break. I relapsed and used until October 27 2013 the day my divorce was finalized and my grandfather passed … I sat it down and didn’t touch it until October 31, 2016. And then the real struggle with addiction truly began:
Well we will start at the beginning back in Feb of 2015 I met Devin the father of my son at the time I didn’t know but I had met my worst nightmare … I had an ectopic pregnancy witch was devastating due to the fact that he was told by doc that he would never be able to have kids bc he had a double hernia surgery at age 6 and 11 so we stopped trying In December I found out I was pregnant with our son but it was at a time where our relationship was super rocky and he was going to leave me but didn’t bc he thought he was obligated to stay with me bc I was preg so obviously right there red flag
He got a job offer in Casper Wyoming making 100,000+ a year so we packed up everything and moved we lived there from Feb 2016 to Oct 2016 during witch time Devin started cheating on me controlling me abusing me mentally physically and emotionally but at the time obviously I didn’t see it … I just thought somwthijng was wrong with me He wouldn’t come come until super late super drunk Money starred disappearing ( he was stealing money from our savings account blowing it on this female that he was having an affair with or whatever … when I found out and confronted him about it Of course he blames me said it was all my fault bc why he didn’t have an answer to that I did everything o cooked I cleaned did laundry waited on him hand and foot basically put his happiness before mine and his worth before my self worth… I was so far away from home I called my mom and dad and asked for their advice but they told me to stay with him… Like I was completely lost like why would they want their daughter to stay in a relationship that they could clearly see was destroying her … I did get it but I took their advice I stayed with him 2 years longer then I wanted But anyways I thought hey maybe things will change once our son gets here … oh boy was I wrong and that took a turn for the worst …On August 26 2016 I went into labor at 1:50 am and I waited to long to go to the hospital so by the time I got to the hospital I was dropping to my knees like literally every 2 steps … they prob shouldn’t of given me an epidural but they did and as I was swinging my legs back on the bed it was time for me to push …
Unfortunately my son was facing Sunnyside up and kept getting stuck on my pelvis So the doc decided to suction him out and this is where it all went bad but I’ didn’t find this out until 24 hours later … but anyways they stuck a suction cup to his head and pulled so hard it ripped off his head leaving his head bloody and then they did it again but this time he came out … But just like a diver they have to come up to the surface slowly as not to build pressure in their lungs … a baby needs to come out naturally so that the liquid can be squeezed out of the babies lungs and so they can fill with oxygen but unfortunately bc he was pulled out so quickly his lungs did not fill up with oxygen they filled up with pressure and a lot of it 
Obviously at this point no one knew what was happening to my baby boy inside his little body… I was awoken on the 27th at 6 am before I could even wake up the doc started talking telling me that my son was not a nursery baby bc it was no longer safe for his life to not be monitored 24/7 … so of course me being me I’m freaking out… they explain to me that they don’t know what exactly is going on but my son’s oxygen levels were in the low low 60% he was dying and there’s nothing I could do about it … my son was now on oxygen and pulsex meaters and ivs… and heart rate monitors and was having an ultra sound done on his heart and lungs every couple of hours … I was devasted … like he was perfect inside of me … over the next two days they tried to lower his oxygen level on his tank to see if he could come home but he progressively got worse … so the doc asked us to come in and we were told that Matthias was going to be airlifted to Denver’s children’s hospital… we beat the flight for life witch takes 45 min from there to Denver and it’s a 5 hour drive… from there to Denver… Let me tell you i ha e never in my life felt the pain I have seeing my 3 day old son in a plastic box with ivs coming out of his head and all these tubes and wires and oxygen hooked up to him … So over the next 32 days I stayed at my son’s bed side more scared then I have ever been in my life and feeling so hopeless I got down on my knees and prayed and prayed and prayed … So finally after 10 days a doc came in and started give me answeres on what was going on with my son. He now had persistent neonatal pulmonary hypertension and congenital hear disease… the blood pressure in his lungs had gone so high (when baby is born they are suppose to start pumping their blood the opposite direction bc Inside the womb I pumb it the opposite way) that 1. That his blood had only partially started the neonatal flow and bc of the pressure coming from both sides towards his heart and his heart trying to work sok hard his heart blew up like a balloon and caused one of his three valves to blow out … narrowing in the main aorta … the high blood pressure in his lungs also caused a hole to open up in his lungs that his body was using as a natural scape goat for it to filter the blood out of but bc of this his lungs where sending unoxgyNted blood to his body witch was causing his body to shut down and by the time the blood got to his brain there was not oxygen left his blood … Also bc of everything that was going on it made is liver enzymes skyrocket into the hundreds of thousands mind you his enzymes should have been in the single digits My son is on oxygen 24/7 He can not live without it he is also on compounded Viagra witch he takes three times a day for whay reason idk bc it does not lower his blood pressure levels in his llkkungs … and then there is another medication called triclear that I have tok wear a face mask and gloves to cut and 8 pills cost 5000 … Anyways it’s suppose to help with his heart and lower his blood pressure but the side effect is liver failure 
we were told we would see liver failure by the age of 20 unfortunately he started seeing liver failure before the age of 1… He is on the doner lost for a new heart lungs and liver of he doesn’t get at least a heart he will not make it past the age of 4 without a mechanical valve and multiply open surgerys a year and if he gets this valve he and do so much as a jumping Jack… He went through his first open heart surgery Sep 22 2017 he did so good … but everyday is a battle for him he has a 50/50 chance of surviving each and every second of every day 
So now that you know that I fell into a very very bad drug habit at my ex keep me going I begged him to help me stop and when I would try and go sober he would just inject me when I was sleeping … So my mom called dhs and had my babies removed from my home and care … then I did not realize but I am so thankful that she did bc I was not taking care of my kids properly … I was killing myself my mom even moved thousands of miles away bc she didn’t want to see her daughter kill herself… I went from 250lbs right after I had my son to 100 lbs in less then a year I literally lost everything except for my life … I don’t know what made me want to try or see what was keeping Devin frfrokm me but I did and for 12 long months I was addicted to herrion u too Devin went to jail Feb… my friends saw what I was going through and that I was hurting and they helped me get off heroin and I’ve been clean ever sence… haven’t lookk back and I don’t want it …
I am now in an intensive outpatient rehab that I started back in Feb… and I have 16 months left… This is not something I’m proud of and imn sorry it was a book but I thought u sho up a no Hell ya amen to surviving and keepin i
On keepin on I realize after these last couple of weeks I did play victim a lot and felt sorry for myself but then I got to a point where I was like umm hello Melanie you are making yourself a victim … So I picked up my pieces got sober and now my life is going in the right diricteii n I REALIZE I PUG MYSELF IN THE SITUATIONS THAT WHERE MAKING MY LIFE SHIT AND IF I CON TINUED TO DO SO MY LIFE WAS GOING TOI CONTINUE TO BE SHIT BUT now it’s pretty great just got approved for non supervised visits with my kids too and they come home in 39 days after being taken back on August 11 2017.
My addiction and it’s affeccts:
~ 8.26.16: my son was born. 250 pounds
(3 years sober)
~ 10.31.16: relapsed by smoking methamphetamines 230 pounds
~ 1.7.17: tried heroin for the first time bc I wanted to know why my significant other had become so distant and what was so great about his drug of choice (the start of my downward spiral to rock bottoms basement) 170 pounds
~4.5.16: a year ago today
~8•11•17: my kids where literally ripped from my arms as I sat sobbing on my hand and knees in the middle of my yard 145 pounds
~8•24•17: the first time I got to see my kids in 13 days 100 pounds a double zero was too big for me. I literally lost everything I had including my self respect the only thing I had left was my life and I saw that becoming fainter and fainter with every shot …
Hello 
everyone .
I’m Honesty and today is my first day being sober… My life sucks cause it seems i can only go a little at a time without Coke:gun:… Yep thats my addiction… Until 6 days ago [when my children on their dad side called cps] I didnt know I was addicted … Bit since they have been gone [I have 2]… Ive been hitting hard… All forms crack soft… Overload in pills and alcohol oh and weed to go sleep… But I only sleep 1 to 2 hours at a time when I sleep… I see my kids… In the mid night 
or 
light when I sleep I wake up screaming … Agony of being apart 
1 Like
Hi my name is Samantha. I have been an addict for almost 10 years. I started using in 2008 when I met my husband. He was already using before we got together. I mean I did smoke weed daily but that was it. I remember wanting to try pills for the first time, My husband begged me not too but i did it anyway & here we are 10 years later, both of us ( My husband & I ) are in a Methadone clinic where we have been going for the last 4 years. Now i can say we have gone from using on a daily basis maybe 4-5 times a day to using a few times a week, Does that make it better of course not… But it is progress, We have started going to meetings at the clinic we go to and we are both at the point where we want more in life, but we can not seem to kick this once in a while bs which is slowly killing us inside. We both have great jobs make great money & have amzing family, But we are struggling with walking away from the only life we know for good !!! So im trying new things,like this & I pray this works for us.
3 Likes
Hi I’m new to this, I’m 37 I have a drink problem, I drink about twice a week and it’s a minimum of 2 bottles of wine each time, my last episode has left me with cuncusion and a pretty bruised up face, I have tried getting help from doctors and agencies but I’m not seen as needing the help. I’m married and my husband is not a drinker and has to endure so much. We have two young children and I love them very much, I’m ruining the relationship I have with them and many a time I wanted to be dead than living through this hell of alcohol abuse
2 Likes