My name is Marie and I’m an addict. My sobriety date is 6/28/22. I live in Maryland with my husband of 26 yrs. We have 3 amazing children that are now all adults and 1 beautiful grandson. My addiction started 19 years ago. With all 3 I had issues with my sciatic nerve. After delivering our first 2 no issues. Once our youngest was born I had issues with my back and the sciatic pain never went away. The prescription drugs started, physical therapy, injections, spinal fusion, nerve stimulator put in (that was useless and removed), I could go on and on. When medical marijuana became available in MD I added that to the opiates, gabapentin, muscle relaxer I was already taking. Here I am 19 years later with nerve damage and worse pain then ever. When I went to my pain management bawling and begging them to give me an injection, I was told you need to make an appointment. Excuse my language but I said are you f***ing kidding me? He sent me out the door with my usual Morphine, Oxycodone and added dilaudid and amitriptyline. Even in the severe pain I was in I said enough is enough and reached out for help. I put myself in detox, and now in IOP. I love not having that crap in my system. My issue is still my sciatic nerve that is worse off now and they still can’t figure out exactly what’s causing it. I don’t know what to do to get this under control but I am not willing to go back on pain meds no matter what. Any advice is appreciated
Welcome to Talking Sober Marie. Just want to wish you all success and say how fantastically brave I think you are for throwing out all that stuff. Sober life is the best life however I’m afraid I don’t have much advice for you. Wishing you all success. Sending you positive thoughts and positive vibes and hope you’ll find healing for your pain.
It’s very addictive. The higher the dose the more your body will crave, just like other drugs. If you’re trying to get off it, it’s not something you want to quit cold turkey. I’ve been on gabapentin for almost 19 years, taking 3600 mg a day. I made them lower my dose a few years ago because it wasn’t making my pain any better. Everyone’s body reacts differently. If you have any questions I’d be more than happy to try my best to answer them
Thank you. Listening to others stories breaks my heart but also gives me inspiration to keep going. Have a great day
Hi I’m Billy. I have to condense my story because I used many different drugs for fifty-three years. I am 70 now. Briefly,started smoking weed at 16 it was a gateway drug for me. Soon I was dropping 'cid regularly until I scared the crap out of myself. At nineteen I was mainlining heroin but got scared when I overdosed and would’ve died if my angel Nita hadn’t brought me back. I was turning blue,yikes. I still did it a few more times and got hepatitis. My drug use continued some crazy stuff and lots of weed,my go to. In my mid forties I got caught up in the opioid epidemic. Lots of pills OxyContin 80’s a favorite to chew up. Then heroin made an encore. At least I wasn’t shooting it but still got strung out. Addicted to OxyContin and heroin at the same time I went cold turkey. Was ok for a brief period but went back to it all. Somehow I managed to keep my job and co-parenting my two kids. I ended up with a legit pain management doctor and was prescribed morphine. Flash forward to 2015 when I had cervical disc fusion. Failed back on morphine. Sorry to be so long winded. My pain doc here,where I had moved to,had to retire and had no options for me. On April 24th I tried to end myself with what remained of my morphine sulfate about 35 thirty mg pills. God intervened. Baker acted at hospital sent to state psych hospital. Severe withdrawals for 5 days. My adult children rallied to me. Found a rehab facility,picked me up and drove me there had to buy me clothes only had clothes on my back. Ready for happy ending? Learned I have a mental illness MDD major depressive disorder and severe p.t.s.d. Psych meds workimg great. Therapist is great no longer suffer with ptsd. Clean for over three months. No urges no depression. Happy! Spiritual. Meditating a lot very helpful. Sorry it took so many words.
Hi my name is Brian, just a little about me. Alcohol was my best friend until 2/01/2022.
So on that day had a Medical problem that put me on my but.
Guess to make a long story short ( and I’m new to this don’t really know what to say)
it was because of drinking. But that didn’t stop me from there it got alot worse. Lost my job
so after that just drank all the time morning, afternoon ,and night . Only time that I didn;t was when I was passed out
So fast forward a little bit. Three weeks ago got out of rehab, living in a sober house form the time that I left the rehab center.
Been looking for a job but really not having any luck with that don’t really know what to do now.
But 4 real I’m ready to give up!!!
So if you have any advice to give please share.
Hi Brian, I’m glad you’re here friend. Together we are strong and the more the stronger we are. Alone this is all too much.
I feel you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. You’re sober, you made it through rehab, you’re living in a sober house. All great stuff and achievements. Stuff you can build on. It’s true the real work starts now. You have to build yourself a new life, a sober life, a better life. How exactly you want to form that life is up to you.
There is however one thing I think we all need and that is the support of our peers. You’r going to any meetings yet? AA or any other type of meetings for people that have problems with alcohol and/or drugs? We all need a support system and this is a great and easy way to start building one. For now that would be my advice.
Finding a job is important too of course. But peer support is paramount. This place is great for that too BTW. Hang with us. Talk. Read. Learn. Support and be supported. Happy to have you aboard Brian! All success to you.
Yes Im going to AA. And yes its very hard out here. I know deep in my heart things will work out or at least hope they will.
P.S THANK YOU
A month and a few days is enough to give advice. Your heart is in the right place.
Really excellent advice @Mno. I feel certain I’d be doomed to failure without my support groups. And I knew that when I finished my 28 day stay at the rehab hotel. TS is a big part of my recovery. Grateful someone told me about it. Have a pleasant evening.
Hi I am Kenny
My addiction and issues have led me to prison and had a lot of consequences. I finally have a sponsor who calls me out on my bull and leads me to work the steps and hold my feet to the fire more. All I want to be is sober but as they say, I am half in and half out
Hello everyone! I’m new here. I’ve been a drinker for close to 20 years now. About 3 years ago the mother of my children died from an overdose and left me with 2 young children (ages 1 & 3 at the time). I had to quit my job to care for my children. It made me angry and I blamed her for everything. With my anger and resentment towards her I started drinking liquor. I had nothing really productive to do so it progressed to me drinking a half of a gallon of rot gut liquor in a matter of hours a day/every day. I put myself 1st in a negative way and let my children down. Got my priorities messed up. I finally accepted responsibility for my own actions and decided it was time to change.
I’m celebrating 100 days sober today and I feel great. The urges are still there, but I have so far successfully dismissed them as stupid thoughts and not acted on them. It’s a daily battle - a battle I’m willing to fight.
Thanks for reading and I’m looking forward to participating in this community.
Congrats on 100 days sober. That’s a huge deal. And welcome to the community. See you around. 
Hey, How are you doing today? I don’t know when you did your post but I think from reading the forums and bloggs all of us are struggling with one thing or another! And god it’s a struggle! I’m an opiate addict, but I do know a friend that had iv H, and he tried so many things and he eventually got methadone and gradually reduced it and eventually came off everything! I just wondered if that was an option for you? I’m tapering down from over 280 mgs of oxycodone a day, I’m down to 30 mgs now twice daily but still on 240 mls of liquid morphine a day, I have just dropped off another 5mgs of the oxy, I still feel naff but slowly getting there, how about you? Xxx
Hey there! I’m Marilyn. I joined to track my journey and maybe chat and get to know others that can relate. I was diagnosed in November with stage four cirrohsis. I ended up passing out into a coma which I was in for about 6 days. I had an upper GI bleed (lost almost all the blood in my body) and lost all my muscle mass causing me to not be able to stand or walk on my own for 6 months… I’ve truly been through hell the last few months. I wish I could tell my younger self to not drink… It’s fun but a life ruiner.
Anyway, I’ve made a great recovery! I’ve really focused on diet and exercise and NOT drinking 
I’m 203 days sober and I have to say it feels nice.
I’m here if anyone wants a friend or someone to talk to.
Hi Robin! Nice to meet you. 
I’m Nastya. Little young adult person, which has a lot of stories behind my back… But now I’m just telling them to others with hope in my heart, that they will not see what I saw.
I was an addicted. I was a lot addicted on alcohol, self-harm. I as well some time was on weed and benzos. Reasons why I started with these shits is that I tried to turn off my pain with which I was used ot live almost whole life.
That pain caused me as well few disorders with which I was unhappy, but now I’m learning to be with them and I just accepted them. I’m schizophrenic with ptsd, depression, anxiety, bulimia and as well personality disorder (schizoid type).
I survived school bullying, toxic relationships were I was abused in any way (sadly as well in sexual way, which affected me a lot), attempts and psych ward. I was alone and I thought I will be alone forever with my shits, which will someday soon or later kill me.
But it was lie.
Because here I am with you all and as well with you, Robin! I have amazing boyfriend and I’m recovering from my shits. Recovery is for me sometimes a lot hard, but it gave me these positive feelings, which I never had before. And it feels fucking amazing!
Hi there!
So my name is Allie, I grew up in a culture and family that very much glorifies drinking as THE way to have fun, and I guess I’m here because even though I’ve always felt like I could control my drinking, I’m finally realizing I’m just not someone who can have a casual drink, I always want to have more. The alcohol has definitely been controlling me.
I’ve taken breaks before and I’ve been lucky in that I always seem “in control” when I drink, so even though I’m blacked out and won’t remember anything the next morning, I always seem like I’m not as drunk as I am.
I’ve got five days sober now, and in the past when I’ve taken breaks (dry January, for example) there has always been a hard stop at the end, this time I’m trying to accept the fact that alcohol has done nothing good to my life, and stop my drinking indefinitely!
Hello my name is Sonja. I have decided to stop drinking so I will feel better and improve focus! I live in WA state its very beautiful here. I am optimistic that I can do this thing!
My name is Cady,
I have been an addict since I was 15, I just turned 34 in September.
I had periods of recovery, the longest being 3 years from 2017-2020. I ended up relapsing November of 2020 on heroin & I was right back on the needle within the first week.
It was all downhill from there & it went downhill FAST. March 2021 my house was raided. I’d never had people at my home for obvious reasons so it was odd to me that they’d kick my door in, ESPECIALLY over hearsay… no proof of any kind that I was doing what they said I was. I was still just using at that point & only was caught with a small amount of meth & heroin.
Someone had alleged that I was transporting large amounts of meth & heroin between different states. They came into my home with 15 gallon totes they were allegedly going to fill with all of the drugs they thought they’d find & they told me I was going to prison for a long time…
Needless to say, I didn’t go to prison. 2 5th degree possession charges don’t land you in prison.
Eventually I got another possession charge, ended up with warrants, lost my license & eventually, at the end of my run, almost lost my life.
I ended up in the hospital with endocarditis, a staff infection in all of my joints, I was septic & I needed open heart surgery. I had destroyed my tricuspid valve from all of the years of IV meth & heroin use & I needed surgery now. All of my organs were failing & I had lost so much muscle mass that I couldn’t even walk anymore.
I made it thru the surgery, now have a pacemaker & have been sober ever since. I was told that for me, to use means to DEFINITELY die now. If I were to overdose, I’d only have a 10% chance of living.
My sobriety date is 10/30/2021. I’m coming up on 2 years and I have worked my ass off to get here.
I got my license back & I now work in a treatment center as a CD tech. I lost my mom in June & have had a hell of a time, but I made it thru it sober. When I couldn’t do it for myself, I did it for her & everyone else who loves me.
Life can be beautiful if you just don’t use, no matter what.
Welcome to Talking Sober and thanks so much for sharing your story Cady! It moves me to read how you got your life back on the road after going so deep into addiction. Lucky me was always so scared of heroin, of needles, of the neighbourhood the dealers hung around that I never went there… But still ended up addicted. I’m working as a RN in a detox now.
So glad you got away from it all. Hard work it is, yet it is a work of love and so worth it right! ODAAT and all that. Happy to have you here with all of us. We’re in this together lady. Here’s to your upcoming two years and many more to come!