I’m Marissa. 29 years old. 2 young children and married.
I didn’t start drinking until I was 17 and it went downhill very quickly. It became apparent that I was not going to be able to drink normally. I come from a family with alcoholism on both sides. My mother told me 'she would make a very good alcoholic" and that’s why she chose not to go down that road. A road I would have to travel myself to make that decision as well.
My drinking was very disasterous in my early 20s. Blacking out 2-3x a week. I don’t drive but, getting in cars with friends who also had lots to drink. Meeting up with strangers just so they could get me drunk…you know, all the crazy/manipulative stuff that comes with being an alcoholic.
I had my first child at 24, and it became much more ‘manageable’. I had a reason to not be drunk every day. My drinking has reduced to once a week, not every time is a bad time but every few months, I will go completely sideways and ruin months of trust between my husband and family. Once a week is still too much.
My longest time sober was 3 months last year. And what an amazing, beautiful time it was. I wish I had not started up again.
So, here we are. Day 3.
Who I become with alcohol in me, is not fair to my family and to myself. I’m actually an awesome person, as I’m sure the rest of you are as well!
Looking forward to another day sober! 
My name is Marie and I’m an addict. My sobriety date is 6/28/22. I live in Maryland with my husband of 26 yrs. We have 3 amazing children that are now all adults and 1 beautiful grandson. My addiction started 19 years ago. With all 3 I had issues with my sciatic nerve. After delivering our first 2 no issues. Once our youngest was born I had issues with my back and the sciatic pain never went away. The prescription drugs started, physical therapy, injections, spinal fusion, nerve stimulator put in (that was useless and removed), I could go on and on. When medical marijuana became available in MD I added that to the opiates, gabapentin, muscle relaxer I was already taking. Here I am 19 years later with nerve damage and worse pain then ever. When I went to my pain management bawling and begging them to give me an injection, I was told you need to make an appointment. Excuse my language but I said are you f***ing kidding me? He sent me out the door with my usual Morphine, Oxycodone and added dilaudid and amitriptyline. Even in the severe pain I was in I said enough is enough and reached out for help. I put myself in detox, and now in IOP. I love not having that crap in my system. My issue is still my sciatic nerve that is worse off now and they still can’t figure out exactly what’s causing it. I don’t know what to do to get this under control but I am not willing to go back on pain meds no matter what. Any advice is appreciated
Welcome to Talking Sober Marie. Just want to wish you all success and say how fantastically brave I think you are for throwing out all that stuff. Sober life is the best life however I’m afraid I don’t have much advice for you. Wishing you all success. Sending you positive thoughts and positive vibes and hope you’ll find healing for your pain.
It’s very addictive. The higher the dose the more your body will crave, just like other drugs. If you’re trying to get off it, it’s not something you want to quit cold turkey. I’ve been on gabapentin for almost 19 years, taking 3600 mg a day. I made them lower my dose a few years ago because it wasn’t making my pain any better. Everyone’s body reacts differently. If you have any questions I’d be more than happy to try my best to answer them
Thank you. Listening to others stories breaks my heart but also gives me inspiration to keep going. Have a great day
Hi I’m Billy. I have to condense my story because I used many different drugs for fifty-three years. I am 70 now. Briefly,started smoking weed at 16 it was a gateway drug for me. Soon I was dropping 'cid regularly until I scared the crap out of myself. At nineteen I was mainlining heroin but got scared when I overdosed and would’ve died if my angel Nita hadn’t brought me back. I was turning blue,yikes. I still did it a few more times and got hepatitis. My drug use continued some crazy stuff and lots of weed,my go to. In my mid forties I got caught up in the opioid epidemic. Lots of pills OxyContin 80’s a favorite to chew up. Then heroin made an encore. At least I wasn’t shooting it but still got strung out. Addicted to OxyContin and heroin at the same time I went cold turkey. Was ok for a brief period but went back to it all. Somehow I managed to keep my job and co-parenting my two kids. I ended up with a legit pain management doctor and was prescribed morphine. Flash forward to 2015 when I had cervical disc fusion. Failed back on morphine. Sorry to be so long winded. My pain doc here,where I had moved to,had to retire and had no options for me. On April 24th I tried to end myself with what remained of my morphine sulfate about 35 thirty mg pills. God intervened. Baker acted at hospital sent to state psych hospital. Severe withdrawals for 5 days. My adult children rallied to me. Found a rehab facility,picked me up and drove me there had to buy me clothes only had clothes on my back. Ready for happy ending? Learned I have a mental illness MDD major depressive disorder and severe p.t.s.d. Psych meds workimg great. Therapist is great no longer suffer with ptsd. Clean for over three months. No urges no depression. Happy! Spiritual. Meditating a lot very helpful. Sorry it took so many words.
Hi my name is Brian, just a little about me. Alcohol was my best friend until 2/01/2022.
So on that day had a Medical problem that put me on my but.
Guess to make a long story short ( and I’m new to this don’t really know what to say)
it was because of drinking. But that didn’t stop me from there it got alot worse. Lost my job
so after that just drank all the time morning, afternoon ,and night . Only time that I didn;t was when I was passed out
So fast forward a little bit. Three weeks ago got out of rehab, living in a sober house form the time that I left the rehab center.
Been looking for a job but really not having any luck with that don’t really know what to do now.
But 4 real I’m ready to give up!!!
So if you have any advice to give please share.
Hi Brian, I’m glad you’re here friend. Together we are strong and the more the stronger we are. Alone this is all too much.
I feel you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. You’re sober, you made it through rehab, you’re living in a sober house. All great stuff and achievements. Stuff you can build on. It’s true the real work starts now. You have to build yourself a new life, a sober life, a better life. How exactly you want to form that life is up to you.
There is however one thing I think we all need and that is the support of our peers. You’r going to any meetings yet? AA or any other type of meetings for people that have problems with alcohol and/or drugs? We all need a support system and this is a great and easy way to start building one. For now that would be my advice.
Finding a job is important too of course. But peer support is paramount. This place is great for that too BTW. Hang with us. Talk. Read. Learn. Support and be supported. Happy to have you aboard Brian! All success to you.
Yes Im going to AA. And yes its very hard out here. I know deep in my heart things will work out or at least hope they will.
P.S THANK YOU
A month and a few days is enough to give advice. Your heart is in the right place.
Really excellent advice @Mno. I feel certain I’d be doomed to failure without my support groups. And I knew that when I finished my 28 day stay at the rehab hotel. TS is a big part of my recovery. Grateful someone told me about it. Have a pleasant evening.
Hi I am Kenny
My addiction and issues have led me to prison and had a lot of consequences. I finally have a sponsor who calls me out on my bull and leads me to work the steps and hold my feet to the fire more. All I want to be is sober but as they say, I am half in and half out
Hello everyone! I’m new here. I’ve been a drinker for close to 20 years now. About 3 years ago the mother of my children died from an overdose and left me with 2 young children (ages 1 & 3 at the time). I had to quit my job to care for my children. It made me angry and I blamed her for everything. With my anger and resentment towards her I started drinking liquor. I had nothing really productive to do so it progressed to me drinking a half of a gallon of rot gut liquor in a matter of hours a day/every day. I put myself 1st in a negative way and let my children down. Got my priorities messed up. I finally accepted responsibility for my own actions and decided it was time to change.
I’m celebrating 100 days sober today and I feel great. The urges are still there, but I have so far successfully dismissed them as stupid thoughts and not acted on them. It’s a daily battle - a battle I’m willing to fight.
Thanks for reading and I’m looking forward to participating in this community.
Congrats on 100 days sober. That’s a huge deal. And welcome to the community. See you around. 
Hey, How are you doing today? I don’t know when you did your post but I think from reading the forums and bloggs all of us are struggling with one thing or another! And god it’s a struggle! I’m an opiate addict, but I do know a friend that had iv H, and he tried so many things and he eventually got methadone and gradually reduced it and eventually came off everything! I just wondered if that was an option for you? I’m tapering down from over 280 mgs of oxycodone a day, I’m down to 30 mgs now twice daily but still on 240 mls of liquid morphine a day, I have just dropped off another 5mgs of the oxy, I still feel naff but slowly getting there, how about you? Xxx