Hi there everyone. I stopped drinking 28 days ago after a massive binge drinking day filled with agressive outburst which i don’t remember due to blackouts.
I have always been a party girl but used to control my drinking and remember my nights. I have never been a daily drinker and only did It during weekends. It has never affected my work or other áreas in life.
Couple of years ago, after my dad passed away and pandemic hitted me pretty hard i started having more and more blackouts. I didnt remember my nights and started being nasty to people while drunk.
My partner has been living with me for 2 years as he moved from usa to Spain to be with me, and he decided to quit drinking 2 years ago.
I know i have a problem, but i want to have few drink now and then.
Yesterday we where all day out with Friends and finally i had 3 beers.
Do you think moderation coming from a bad relaionship with alcohol IS possible? Will i end Up abusing and not being able to control It again?
Hi and welcome to the forum! My honest opinion, coming from experience; moderation is not an option… one will always lead you back to more… but stay connected, we’re here to support you!
Welcome to the community, @Pantx89, glad to have you 
What really helped me in my sobriety is to actually turn that thinking around, from “will I able to drink?” to “do I need to drink?”. As soon as I realized that drinking is a burden put upon us by society and one that I can choose to lay down, life became so much easier!
Likewise, you do not need to drink, today or ever again. It doesn’t matter what others think or say about it and your partner is already on the same page with you, what a great start.
Hope that helps 
No moderation is not possible.
Yes you will abuse it and not be able to control it
Derek, straight forward as always! 
I think sometimes it is helpful to be very clear. I wouldn’t want to answer in a way that gives her the idea that maybe it is possible to moderate. I think sobriety is easier when you don’t have those “well maybe I can…” thoughts
Very true! But in early sobriety people rather hear other stuff, that’s why we appreciate having people like you on the forum!
Nope. Moderation was not possible for me. I tried for years to moderate - only on weekends, certain type of drink, certain number of drinks, only drinking in a set time period, only drinking at home, never drinking at home, etc., etc., etc. It all led back to the same place - chaos and misery.
Like others have already mentioned, moderation isnt possible. It certainly wasnt for me also. I spent wayyyy too long trying to control/moderate my using and the end result was always the same… i always, ALWAYS ended up using and drinking just as much (if not more). I think once u cross that invisible line into becoming an addict/alcoholic, its impossible to return to what we once were. And its honestly alot easier to just abstain completely. Bcuz i know, that as soon as i use any substance at all, in any amount, i release my addiction all over again. When i stay free from drugs and alcohol, i can truly become free from the grips of addiction. Dabbling in it here n there, trying to moderate, just gives addiction the opportunity to have a hold on u.
No, not for an alcoholic!!!
This deserves an AMEN from Squid!
And here are some extra 
for @Englishd for not sugar coating the truth.
Alcohol? When it comes to me: NO WAY
I have not known moderation to work for anyone who has tried it.
Have a read back thru the many many many posts on this forum of people coming back to the conclusion that they need to quit completely after attempting to moderate.
Sometimes these moderation attempts can result in the loss of years of life due to being drunk.
Nope. Pure and simple. And there is freedom there.
Once I stopped doing all that exhausting mental math of:
Only beer
Only clear liquors
Only on the weekends, except today was a really hard Tuesday so I’ll only have two…
Okay since I had two yesterday I can have two again today…
Now I will drink everything in the house.
Once you take the desire to moderate out of the equation it becomes really simple. Don’t take that first drink and you can’t end up drunk.
One drink equals all the drinks.
Don’t have one.
I can only go off my own experience, but I’m similar to you in a lot of ways you’ve described, weekend drinker, never affected my week, like to party but a tenancy to drink too much and blackout and be a dick to people. I’ve tried to moderate for years and yes sometimes I can do it, but inevitably at some point I fail and that happens more often than not. Having repeated this cycle and attempts to moderate for so long I now accept I cannot drink. I’m never going to have 100% control over my ability to moderate and it only takes one time to fuck up and destroy relationships or worse. So based on this I would say no, if you’ve haven’t been able to consistently moderate in the past you won’t suddenly gain the ability to do that.
It’s true. Trying to figure out how many you can have, how you will have them, what you will try to do to prevent X from happening is very stressful and ultimately doesn’t work. Once you accept it, it is much easier to just say I don’t drink & not do it. And then you are in control. The moment you say anything else you’ve lost control. That’s what I think anyway and am trying to live by, having spent years doing the opposite much to my detriment.
Me too! Accepting that those days are gone is a hard pill to swallow. It’s impossible to turn a pickle back to a cucumber. But I can promise you that sobriety is a much better way to live.
Just my opinion … I am an alcoholic. I cannot have just one drink. I can not drink at just one event. Even when I was drinking alcohol, my life was not worth living and why I tried although failed many times to end it all. If you can control your drinking and moderate my hat is off to you! For me never would be possible.
Personally, for me, absolutely not!
I always say that one drink is too much, and 1000 would never be enough.
Not worth the impact it’s had on my mental and physical health, my relationships, my job and my life.
Everyone is different, but I’ve never met someone who could moderate their drinking.
Welcome to the forum.
Alcohol moderation didn’t work for me. I tried many times. It only took one bad night. Years of bullshit. Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. I wish you the best with your journey.