I can only say that is not my experience at all. I have definitely heard very raw shares, in different meetings, talk of cravings, sadness, etc. And then those people have been talked to after the meeting, and got calls or messages.
I just in my last meeting talked about some cravings or thoughts of drinking I was having at a certain time, and another member talked to me afterwards with some suggestions to nip them in the bud. And a couple of weeks ago when a member was currently drinking he messaged on the group and was called by another member.
I am so sorry that that has not been your experience.
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Never! When you are craving is when you need to call. Before you drink or use. That is the purpose. Saying I can’t talk to you because you are feeling weak is against everything I was taught.
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I would tend to agree. Here on the forum I’ll sometimes read a post or comment and think “they don’t want sobriety for themselves. They’re doing it to please someone else. This will likely lead to resentment and relapse”.
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I like what you are saying, but the hard part is balancing that against not dragging another person down with you.
I do not have any answer, so I understand why this is so fraught.
That is why you reach out to someone with strong recovery. My doc was meth. Today I have the capability to even walk into a crack house and drag someone out if they ask me too. It wouldn’t phase me one bit to share recovery with the dealers as I do so lol. Someone still struggling won’t have the same reaction.
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I honestly don’t know as I have never experienced what u have experienced in the rooms. I mean everyone who attends mtgs are not necessarily “well” as we are all addicts or alcoholics and trying to heal, so I suppose ur experiences have not been a good one 
which is really sad honestly bcuz the rooms do help alot of people. Altho there are many ways to recover. Mtgs are not always the best option for everyone. They have helped me alot but others have found long term recovery in other ways too. I have experienced some not good mtgs and some fabulous ones also. But I mean ultimately the choice is urs. If u feel good in ur recovery without mtgs and u were able to get clean without them in the 1st place, then maybe u don’t need them 
like I said not everyone requires mtgs to recover. Congratulations on ur recovery (I forgot to mention that)
It was probably foolish to come back. I do not know anyone in recovery personally, so I think I was hoping to meet some people. But the same things that got in the way all those years ago, mostly are still there.
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I’m sorry u experienced that that sounds very defeating. The mtgs are always around if u need them… but if they are going to do more harm for u than good, then maybe it’s best to not attend. Altho I wouldn’t shut the door completely on them. Maybe there is a diff group that’s more what u need? Not all groups were a fit for me honestly either. I had to try a number of them out until I found my home group. But I truly do think we know what’s best for us in our hearts. We often know the answers inside of us
When you do attend meetings where is your focus? On the differences or the similarities? Did you go back looking for the things that bothered you before or with an open mind trying to find people like you?
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I think the problem is going in with an open mind. It makes stuff like this hurt more.
I think I have been to a lot of meetings in the area–though most are now gone due to the pandemic.
I think it is the program. I just don’t respond well to tough love. I need a bit more warmth than you find in the program.
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And that’s totally okay! We are all individual people and we all have diff needs I personally need the tough love approach and very real and borderline harsh responses sometimes otherwise I don’t learn… and that’s just me. But for alot of people too, they need something not as harsh. Nothing is right or wrong it’s whatever works for you!
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That all makes me shut down.
It was not until I got help from people I had a personal relationship with.
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Did you give your input at the meeting? The program needs you and you need the program. Everyone program is different. This chronic disease doesn’t care about our program. Recovery is worth it, it’s not about being sober. I address my emotions through the program and use healthy coping skills to deal with them. Today I don’t need drugs or alcohol to be Happy and I have the Power and strength to be Sober “Just for Today”
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I was the only person who had not shared so I was asked to speak at the end of the meeting. I told them I was appalled and felt the meeting was about making excuses for cowardice. I left right after I spoke because I felt so disgusted.
Thanks for being honest and open with this forum. I wish I was at that meeting. I understand your point of view. I also think that people will make excuses. I know this illness has no cure and can only be treated. Obviously that meeting wasn’t introducing the solution at the time but maybe it could help someone identify the symptoms and not the solution. Please keep attending, don’t give up , Recovery is the Solution.
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Im talking tonight at a meeting i usually share ,strength and hope as ive more sober time than drinking i try to share my recovery in the program ,if someone approaches me tonight for sponsorship ill have to recline as ive 4 guys working the steps at the moment ill suggest someone else if they want , but im talking tomorow night aswell and id offer to take them with me if they want . we are only human and we have a choice to stay sober or seek another path . some times for me to be truthfull sitting listening to someone 6 months sober sharing a drunk a log i get bored but i dont forget im there same as everyone else even with decades of recovery so only human ,i never forget i was there too and was giving help .
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It will be noticable and you’re always welcome so please don’t make any haste decisions because you may regret it…
Even if it is noticed, it is not likely to matter. I have to admit to feeling free for the last week. I do not have to bite my tongue or be afraid that if I am called on I will say the wrong thing.
I have my friends who are a strong support network. I do not know what I thought I was getting from sitting in meetings.
And to be honest, I really disagree with some basic stuff. I do not think it is up to me to judge motives or likelihood of staying sober. I think that we should be available to help each other. That is the AA I love in the literature, but never see in real life.
To each is own