I never thought I had a drinking problem tbh I’m not entirely convinced that I do, just thought it was drinking culture where I am and socialising with friends.
But the more I think about the more the signs were there… drinking to change moods and when I’m trying to change my moods I dont seem to be able to stop drinking, I blackout sometimes and I change into a completely different person. There are times when I can have one and stop and a lot of the time I dont even feel like a drink but I think I have a problem with binge drinking.
I went sober yesterday, on friday I blacked out and said some horrible untrue things to my boyfriend and I just dont recognise the person who would do that, i certainly wouldnt and i hate that i did it and I just want to take it back but I cant. He understandably broke up with me, I’m not sure whether I can convince him to give me another chance I probably cant. But I cant keep using alcohol as a crutch especially when stuff like this happens.
Even though I havent been drinking everyday the second I decided to stop it’s literally all I can think about. A few times i thought about stopping or reducing my drinking habits and the same thing happened. I dont want to drink I never want to drink again but all i can think about is the next drink.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and if anyone has any ideas on how to make amends, I know it might be too late to save the relationship but I just hate that I hurt him.