Yes it is 
Your share reminds me of my gradual emerging awareness of how self-centred I was in my active addiction and how I still walk that landscape of self-obsession in my recovery. Every I did I assessed it in terms of how it would make me feel, what it would give me, etc etc. For me that was my addiction keeping me in the hole of addiction, where I am alone and the only person I can be with is myself.
(Edit to add: the selfishness is not rooted in me as a person. Instead it originates from how addiction is about using people. Addiction uses me like an all-consuming parasite, isolating me and using my body to sustain itself, and when I’m in my addiction I use my relationships and my resources to cater to me and my wants, which ultimately feeds back to the addiction.)
It is a lonely place.
In my growing recovery I have found ways to be of service in my recovery community and that has helped me to find meaning and fulfillment. I have made true friends in my recovery group that have depth my relationships of the past never had. (There’s a list of recovery groups here: Resources for our recovery; there’s also the Grumpy A-holes (quitting cigarettes/ nicotine products) (Part 2) thread for recovering from nicotine addiction.)
You are not alone - there are millions who have walked the path before you and you are learning from their experience. It is possible with a humble attitude of learning and taking it one day at a time.
Welcome back to Talking Sober! I remember you from a couple years ago.