And I will continue my Meetings online. It’s in the morning and lunchtime. It’s my home group and the people are lovely. Always the same. But I feel ridiculous to go there and drink at night. This has to stop
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Oh sweetheart - big hugs love! Are you able to do any on line meetings?
Im so sorry for your struggle. Are you talking with a therapist? I do hope you can connect with your counselor.
We are here for support but you do need to get some sort of support system irl.
Is it possible to get you distractions for the evenings that would posdibly keep you from giving in to your urges.
Its not easy but somehow starting with day one with one minute at a time we have to fight for our right to live an addiction free life
Here for you love - im sure you are super busy- it may be helpful to be more active on the TS site - i sorta live on here and find it as an anazing support system and a huge distraction.
So much love my friend. You can be stronger than your addiction…sending you strength 
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Have you been open about your drinking in your home group?
Don’t give up. 
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This is the shame and guilt getting in the way. Keep going because without that all you have is the night drinking. Being in your home group daily and being honest atvthese meetings may get you the support to put down the bottle for good.
For me i just didnt know how to unwind without it and thought it was a reward for a full productive day. These were lies and i now know i was rewarding myself with poison which had a very shitty after effect.
Much love friend- you are stronger than your addiction and you desserve a healthy addiction free life (repeat this to yourself)… 
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I reset my counter twice after setting my intention to quit and both times I learned something. What did you learn from this reset? What do you need more of in your recovery? You can do this.
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Day 2 For me and happy to join this thread, had many attempts to keep AF over the years and trusting this will help me be accountable. Thank you for starting this. PM
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I don’t normally share at my meetings since I’m so new I feel so stupid to talk about sobriety when I just drank the night before. There are so many people there that have months, years, decades of sobriety… I feel so ashamed but I might say something today at the meeting.
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I know how frustrated and hopeless it feels. To try so hard and simply not get freedom like others around me. What was I doing wrong?
Well, I was doing a lot wrong. It took a multitude of resets; sessions of acting out that created havoc in my life and in my marriage, in which God slowly led me through each learning pillar. Uncovering the lies that I was holding on to.
Why was this taking so long? Why can’t I “get it” like others around me? Everyone passing me by, and I’m still stuck at another day 1. It certainly wasn’t for lack of trying and effort. Looking back, I understand why. But in the moment, I just had to keep getting back up. I just had to stay true to my desire to never give up. And I just had to figure out the hard question, what is God trying to teach me from all of this?
And I’m so glad I did. After 3 decades of chronic relapsing, learning new pillars along the way, I can say that its worth it. Yes, it is. Don’t lose hope, Julia. God’s not giving up on you so don’t give up on yourself. He’s bigger than all of this.
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You are so so so kind 
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Everybody on here is so kind. Thank you
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I did my noon meeting. All familiar faces there. I shared although I hated it. I told everyone that I’m starting again and looking for a sponsor… They know my face and I felt stupid because I’ve been on this meeting for weeks now and I’m still starting over again. I got lots of messages privately in the meeting and this dear lady asked me to stay after the meeting. So we all exchanged numbers. This was overwhelming and so sweet from all of them. They told me to come back and to do this every day and if the cravings come I should text or call one of them.
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Oh my - sometimes the good of humanity is so overwhelming – i love all of this for you. So glad you made it to the meeting and super proud that you shared.
Do not feel guilt about having to start over – they know you from seeing you attend the meetings and know you are struggling like i’m sure they all have done themselves. This addiction is evil and takes so much to shake (we can not do this on our own). Grateful that you got some numbers and looks like you are on the right path.
What is your plan for the evening? This is when the cravings get stronger. Also - not sure if you already mentioned this before - are you able to get rid of the alcohol at home or if not can you ask your husband to place it out of sight (not easily accessible).
We are here for you on your day 1 my friend - stay strong!!! youve done this before so i know you have it in you to do again (this time you will have more of a backing and support at your finger tips)
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You say it! The good of humanity 
. I’ve gotten rid of anything in the house. I just keep buying it again and I know I shouldn’t but instead of coming here or calling someone I even get out of the house and buy it. Fortunately I don’t have anything at home now. Husband does not buy it anyway. He is too busy and hardly at home. My plan for the night is another meeting when the kids are in bed. And then calling a sober friend. I got to know her here once on TS. She has started 11 days ago too and offered we can have a talk. That’s my plan for tonight.
You are a lifesaver really you are my dear friend
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looks like you have a wonderful plan for today! believe me i’ve thrown out liquor in the morning thinking this is the last time and going to buy more – it is a nasty cycle but i along with so many others are living proof that breaking the cycle is possible. we are not any bit stronger than you — you do also have the strength to overcome this addiction.
I do hope that you do reach out to your sober friend, the ladies you met at the meeting and ofcourse your friends here – we are all here for you !
much love my friend - the beginning is rough so do what you can to keep you busy doing busy work…puzzles, games, knitting, drawing… so many more options - 
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You do a great job of embracing sobriety throughout the week. It’s the weekend where everything starts to break down. I would be interested to know what plan you can devise to help you get past that stumbling block each Friday
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Yes Kevin you are so right. Weekends get me. They are so hard and long. I would really like to go to a f2f meeting on Friday night. Or even Saturday night. I just got off the phone with a lovely sober lady. Kids in bed. Me in bed. No booze in the house. I made it to bed sober. Which is a huge relief for today.
Thank you Kevin. I had to think of your long text from this morning the whole day. It resonates a lot!
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Keeping myself busy is so important. It’s what I have to do now. For me 24 hours are too long sometimes especially at the end of the day. That’s why I’m trying to take it minute by minute even. Cleaning the kitchen. Giving a hug to my kids. Having a shower etc… Now planning my next meeting tomorrow
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Good morning everyone. Just came off my early morning meeting. Great way to start the day. Off to work now. Focusing on the next 24 hours. That’s all we got. Happy Tuesday everyone
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Good morning Sunshine-girl (julia)
Love the post - i can feel your positivity through your words. Yes -we can only worry about the next 24 hrs! Odaat…glad you got yoursel to a meeting.
What else do you have planned for today?
Is the weather nice? Could you get out and enjoy nature?
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Yes I’m in a much better place today. JazzyS how are you? Your are spreading so much positive energy. It’s beautiful. I’m planning to get out with my sons to have a nice ice cream 
. What are your plans?
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