Some thoughts please because I really find my inner self struggling with this one.
I’m so glad you’re still sober, especially since I recently had a close call where I was going to both use porn and and masturbation. Hadn’t felt that way in a long time. And I felt so miserable, I had a headache and stuff and I’m like if I get my high I’ll feel bad after,but I’ll feel great in the moment. Then I was like what’s so great about the moment when I’m going to have to start all over again? Plus I’d come on here and admit my fall and I know there may be some who probably figure it was bound to happen, but I didn’t want em to get satisfaction either lol. So I thank God that I didn’t give in. With God all things are possible.
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Welcome back @Victorious. Its good to hear from you. Thank you.
And I really wanted to act out today.
Glad I didn’t. I was going to post about my craving, and there you are! Awesome. Your presence gives me strength to carry on. Hope to hear from you more often.
I was honesty getting concerned for you.
Yes, sober is better. Currently at 196 days. don’t know how, because I’ve been craving for about 120 of those days. Lol. Getting lots of practice fighting the cravings this time around.
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To-Do list
Prayer 1
Bible 1
Worship
Floss Teeth 1
Clean
Exercise
Family
Forum 1
Outreach 1
Job Search
App
Wife 1
Love Challenge
Tell wife I love her 1
Give compliment 1
Avoid negative 1
Unexpected kind 1
Call from work 1
Special greet 1
Pray w/ her
To-do list points 6
Love challenge points 6
The CR meeting last night really convicted me to have a daily quiet time with God established; a time to spend in prayer, reading the Bible, worship, and self reflection on my actions, words, and thoughts.
Came clean to my group that I only read my Bible once this past week. Chose to share my To-do list with them to hold myself accountable next week.
Did a bunch of behaviors after the meeting before bed. Yesterday, you all know that my thoughts were not in the right place. I know for a fact that this structure helps me to redirect my mind in a better direction. For me, this is my recovery. It’s time that I be a lot more consistent with this process.
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To-Do list
Prayer 1
Bible 1
Worship
Floss Teeth 2
Clean
Exercise
Family
Forum 1
Outreach 1
Job Search
App
Wife
Love Challenge
Tell wife I love her 1
Give compliment
Avoid negative 1
Unexpected kind
Call from work 1
Special greet
Pray w/ her
To-do list points 6
Love challenge points 3
Okay, this is actually from Wednesday. I haven’t tracked this since. And this needs to improve.
Id prefer to just be alone and go with the flow. But much of my sickness is the result of my emotional and social anorexia.
I’m more comfortable in isolation than with relationship and companionship. It’s uncomfortable for me to show love to my wife, to pray, to call a friend, to go to church or a meeting, to practice selflove. But the alternative is going back to what I’ve always known. Which is getting high off of physical sex.
After no cravings for 3 days, I’ve had a couple moments today and yesterday where I’ve entertained sexual fantasies. I’m broken. I’ve got a long way to go. I understand that the key for me is not just stopping my porn and addictive behavior, but also embracing a new life of connection with others. And that scares me.
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To-Do list
Prayer 1
Bible 1
Worship
Floss Teeth 2
Clean
Exercise
Family
Forum 1
Outreach 1
Job Search
App
Wife
Love Challenge
Tell wife I love her 1
Give compliment
Avoid negative 1
Unexpected kind
Call from work 1
Special greet
Pray w/ her
To-do list points 5
Love Challenge points 3
Just have to start putting it out there. Went to CR again last night. Promised my group that I would get more consistant with my quiet times with God and my outreach attempts. I don’t want to be a broken record each week. I will do better at this.
Wanted to share some thoughts after reading This Naked Mind. Note that I stopped posting about it.
I liked that it descibed much of my choices being made by my unconscious. And when I choose to stop acting out, I oftentimes have an internal battle between my conscious and my unconscious.
I didn’t like the promise that she dangled throughout most of the book; promising that once done reading, the unconscious will no longer desire to drink. Thus, sobriety will be easy even when alcohol is all around you.
I didn’t like the middle 10 chapters where she uses logic and reasoning to convince my unconscious self that alcohol is bad. As she mentioned before, my unconscious is emotional and not logical. So why are you using logic to convince my unconscious? Its like reasoning with a 4 year old. During these chapters, I felt like I was being taught recovery by a rookie.
This book primarily discusses alcohol addiction. It won’t be as applicable to other addictions such as porn.
I didn’t like that she takes a jab at AA. She describes members of AA like a group of white knucklers constantly feeling deprived of their DOC. She dedicates a chapter to what she descibes as spontaneous sobriety which is another term for going it alone cold turkey.
I like that she comes back to reality and explains that some may need rehab if they cannot get sober on their own.
I like that she warns that a recovering alcoholic is still prone to receiving messages that will be received by the unconscious and will need to stay vigilant.
I like that she makes a compelling case against moderation; that under no circumstances, is it safe to just have only one drink.
I like thay she describes the addicts brain pathways to be permanently set. Although, it’s not to difficult to stay sober after a lengthy period of sobriety, after 1 relapse, the pathway is reopened in the brain. And the alcoholic with years of sobriety instantly drinks out of control once he starts again.
I thinks the book has some good points, but I’ve read better.
For someone struggling with alcoholism, I would recommend reading the Big Book and the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.
For sex and porn addiction, I would recommend the following.
Out of the Shadows
Don’t Call it Love
Hope and Recovery
the SLAA big book
the SA white book
the SAA green book
1 Like
To-Do list
Prayer
Bible
Worship
Floss Teeth
Clean
Exercise
Family 1
Forum 1
Outreach 1
Job Search
App
Wife
Love Challenge
Tell wife I love her 1
Give compliment
Avoid negative 1
Unexpected kind
Call from work
Special greet
Pray w/ her
To-do list points 3
Love Challenge points 2
Made a promise to my CR group last night that I would work on getting my daily quiet time with God for this week.
I admitted that I really don’t want to. But I shouldn’t knock it until I’ve tried it. This was yesterday’s results. Results for today will look much better. I’ll post them tomorrow.
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You ok Kevin? Just that, you’ve not posted for a while and your points seem low!
Hi Geoff,
I’m doing better now. Thanks. Here’s yesterday’s completed To-Do List.
To-Do list
Prayer 1
Bible 1
Worship
Floss Teeth 1
Clean
Exercise
Family
Forum 1
Outreach 1
Job Search
App
Wife
Love Challenge
Tell wife I love her 1
Give compliment 1
Avoid negative 1
Unexpected kind
Call from work 1
Special greet
Pray w/ her 1
To-Do List Points 5
Love Challenge Points 5
Woke up late today. It’s going to take some work to get to 6 points, but I want to do it.
2 Likes
I love this list. Well, the idea behind it. I may have to make one for myself. Regarding the quiet time it helped me to find a really short devotion book that I could use each day. It has a general theme for the day, then related scriptures (that I look up and read) and a short prayer at the end. I can send you the Amazon link if you’d like. It was a good starting point for me to get back in the habit. I’m not doing Bible study, I’m just setting my intention for the day by starting with scripture. I also have a “journal” a friend gave me that has 4 “prompts” per day that I answer after reading the devo. First is Today’s Verse (which I usually get from the devo. Second is “Lord teach me to…” Third is “I am thankful for…” Fourth is “Prayer Requests”. All of that fits on one page so it forces me to focus on what I’m thinking and praying about. Doing that pretty much every morning for the last year has been great. Especially when I can flip back through the pages and see answers to prayers. Keep going to CR, keep trying and keep fighting the good fight!
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Thanks Cristel.
You’re such a great encourager.
You deserve a shout out.
Ok, it’s been awhile since I posted my To-Do list. Here are the previous 3 days worth.
To-Do list Thur 10/31
Prayer 1
Bible 1
Worship
Floss Teeth
Clean
Exercise
Family 1
Forum 1
Outreach
Job Search
App
Wife
Love Challenge
Tell wife I love her 1
Give compliment 1
Avoid negative 1
Unexpected kind
Call from work
Special greet 1
Pray w/ her 1
To-Do List Points 4
Love Challenge Points 5
To-Do list Fri 11/1
Prayer 1
Bible 1
Worship
Floss Teeth
Clean
Exercise
Family 1
Forum 1
Outreach
Job Search
App
Wife
Love Challenge
Tell wife I love her 1
Give compliment
Avoid negative 1
Unexpected kind
Call from work
Special greet
Pray w/ her 1
To-Do List Points 4
Love challenge Points 3
To-Do list Sat 11/2
Prayer
Bible
Worship
Floss Teeth 1
Clean
Exercise
Family
Forum 1
Outreach 1
Job Search
App
Wife
Love Challenge
Tell wife I love her 1
Give compliment
Avoid negative 1
Unexpected kind
Call from work 1
Special greet 1
Pray w/ her
To-Do List Points 3
Love Challenge Points 4
Not quite where I should be. Honestly wondering if my regular cravings are due to this. I tend to sexualize a lot of my needs.
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I think you’re on to something… There’s probably a correlation between low numbers on your list and high instances of cravings. What’s keeping you from doing the things on your list? Anything you need to cut out?
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Yeah, less time on TS. 
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How ya doing? Cutting out some TS time? Haven’t seen you around the last few days. Just checking.
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Thanks for checking up on me @crystalclear. Back from my relapse.
Let’s get some To-Do Lists posted.
To-Do list Wed 11/13
Prayer 1
Bible 1
Worship
Floss Teeth 2
Clean
Exercise
Family
Forum 1
Outreach
Job Search
App
Wife
Love Challenge
Tell wife I love her 1
Give compliment
Avoid negative 1
Unexpected kind
Call from work 1
Special greet
Pray w/ her
To-Do List Points 5
Love Challenge Points 3
My behaviors have been significantly more consistent over the past week or so. Just need to start logging them. Haven’t made an outreach call this week. Promised some people that I would. Also, I look forward to getting out my guitar real soon.
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Glad you’re back. 
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To-Do list Fri 11/15
Prayer 1
Bible 1
Worship
Floss Teeth 2
Clean
Exercise
Family
Forum 1
Outreach 1
Job Search
App
Wife
Love Challenge
Tell wife I love her 1
Give compliment
Avoid negative 1
Unexpected kind
Call from work
Special greet
Pray w/ her 1
To-Do List Points 6
Love Challenge Points 3
Glad I finally made an outreach call yesterday. Time to get the Love Challenge to 6.
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How are you Kevin? Settling down again I hope?
Hi Geoff,
I’m really enjoying the ride this time. Still haven’t craved since my last relapse 11 days ago. I’ll take it.
Thanks for asking.
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