Nothing worked for me about moderate drinking. All we need to do is quit. Because after that first sip the game changes.
Also I am in the same position. Alcohol is very available and here they serve home 7/24. Its just a phone call away. I do not see my friends anymore but alcohol is everywhere. My brother his girlfriend they are all moderate drinkers. It triggers of course.
The very effective thing is reading whatever you find about the harms of alcohol.
I must repeat: There is no possibility of being a moderate or a social drinker for an alcoholic. Trust me.
In general if a person even needs to ponder this topic they have passed the point of moderation being an option. I have long believed that moderation only works for people who it comes second nature too…
Its a dangerous mental trap that leads one right back into alcohol abuse or getting addicted to marijuana instead and calling that sobriety, etc.
No….I’m a Brit! tea swilling, pie eating Brit hope to see you around here more @ducksauce88. The folks on here are so supportive and from all walks of life. We all have one thing in common. We all are here because we cannot control our addictions. One thing is for sure though…. Together we are stronger! I hope you find what’s right for you lovely
Hey there, I’m glad you found TS. For me, my life really changed when my thinking about drinking shifted. I too was a social butterfly when I drank. I made a LOT of friends through drinking and socializing, and the thought of quitting always seemed like an impossibility that also meant the death of my social life.
Reading Alan Carr’s Easy Way caused me to realize though that…staying away and being FREE of the need for alcohol was a hell of a lot better than living inside the never ending prison of seeking the elusive, moderate “couple of drinks” that was always followed by over indulgence and regret.
As I got sober, I began to see my “ social drinking with friends” for what it was: a group of deluded addicts sitting with one another and escaping a challenging world by numbing out. When I got sober, the “friends” I used to see regularly weeded themselves out until all that was left were real, genuine, meaningful relationships that were a HELL of a lot more supportive and life affirming than the many drinking buddies I had over the year. And my social butterfly nature was an attention seeking alcoholic with a need to be validated and hidden social anxiety that led me to drink in the first place.
The thought that my addictive personality could moderate was the real prison. I’ve been free of that illusion AND the need to drink, for about 5.5 years at this point…and my life, while still wildly challenging sometimes, is lived with a level of clarity, bravery and appreciation that I never even got CLOSE to while drinking.
I’m glad you found TS as it seems like your inner self may be starting to figure out that something is awry. Even if your brain hasn’t yet and is fighting you. I wish you well on your journey .
My family is very drink-y too. Its a challenge. That said there are many AF beverages out there now that actually taste prettt good. Also, once the novelty wears off everyone will eventually get over it. I totally get it though.
First, we learn to socialize without alcohol. It IS difficult because alcohol is so ingrained in society but it isn’t alcohol or nothing. I was out last night at a gala and I drank a club soda during intermission. No big deal.
Second, if you lose friends because you aren’t drinking then they never were your friends. They may be surprised and ask questions but true friends will support you in whatever challenges you face, not shun you.
And as for your original question….youve already proven to yourself that you cannot moderate, you always drink too much.
Thanks for posting this. I have also tried TSM and naltrexone. For me the anxiety it induces is terrible, but it is helping to kill the cravings. I did it because I wanted to give up, but wanted it to be less hard. Yeah it takes all the joy out of alcohol but that’s the point isn’t it ? I never had the feeling they promote in the movie of being able to continue but it be less fun.
Apologies for the mix up! And thanks for the warm welcome. I am also in the UK and the drinking culture here makes it so hard for those like us who want to quit or even just cut down.
No worries at all! Booze is everywhere in the UK. Even in our local petrol stations . There are some really nice soft drinks coming on the market if late though. I’m a mad fan of J20 spritz watermelon at the mo. Loads of ice in a big bowl glass with a slice of lime it’s too hot in the uk at the min lol.
I appreciate your answer. There seem to be two camps of people:
1.) Nature: Alcoholism is hard wired into us (like DNA). Nothing we do can modify our drinking habits. So the only option if to quit alcohol all together. Moderation is not an option.
2.) Nurture: Our drinking habits are learned behaviours. Our brains compel us to drink excessively because it’s been conditioned by negative external factors.
It’s easy to see which camp you’re in. I’m just learning about this for the first time.
It’s a progressive illness so if you think you are a problem drinker now and cannot stop after 1 it will only get worse. I tried sober living in my 20s had great periods then drank all through my 30s and it only got worse needed it every day. Finally I hit 40 and I no longer even drank beer as it wasn’t strong enough I moved from beer and the on vodka every day litres at least in the end.
I am now 42 alcohol has ruined me physically mentally and now financially as well.
I had great jobs plenty of money and my family.
I’m now single not seen my kids in nearly 5 months.
I am now only 37 days sober and have never felt better in 14 years but I hit rock bottom.
Do not fool yourself it will only get worse and Save yourself from rock bottom.
You sound like an alcoholic to me and unfortunately abstinence is the only way as hard as it took me losing everything to finally admit defeat.
I see sober people now at AA meetings and believe me they are all the proof you need to see you will be much happier without alcohol in your life.
It’s not easy to avoid so I take antiabuse so I can’t drink as I had no will power to stop on my own
Exactly. I got to the point where I couldn’t get ready for work before downing a beer. Towards the last year or so of drinking my body was in such bad shape I couldn’t handle much hard liquor without stomach pains so drank an enormous amount of cheap 5.9% beer. After 36 days sober I’m still having pains that I used to drink away which only made things worse.
The sad thing about this is, even though people hear the stories, they think they’re different. I heard them before both times I hit rock bottom. Even after the first time I stayed in denial, thinking I’d be able to control it eventually. Sometimes that’s what needs to happen in order for people to stop. They have to experience the destruction for themselves.
I’m beginning to think when rock bottom happens, that’s the universe trying to save your life. Whatever powers that turn the wheels are slapping you in the face before you drink yourself into a coma or hit a family head on while drunk.
Perhaps my answer is not what you would like to hear, but, if you do have cravings and can’t make a couple of days without drinking, my guess is that, even if you quit alcohol for a while and then try to be a moderate drinker - after a few months, years or decades - you would get to where you are now.
Most of us here cannot be moderate drinkers, because we already crossed the line (to put it simply).
The choice is obviously yours.
For myself, I didn’t have any program etc., but when I relapsed it was because of the “well, I’ve made it this far, so why not just have a glass or two”. The glasses were never one or two and I find that (even on a sh…. day) I’m far better than after my “a bottle or two” period.
Wish you all the best.
Unfortunately, some people need to hit rock bottom before it clicks. Those of us lucky enough to survive try to prevent these folks from having to learn the hard way. But if they choose to dismiss advice from folks that have been through it, they will experience the pain that comes attempting “moderation”.
I was the same I drank 2 pints of vodka and lemonade before I started working at 9 in the morning. I was working from home due to covid. That’s when I progressed into the worst I had ever been.
Then I couldn’t work so went on the sick eventually quit working completely. My partner put up with me drinking daily for about 18 months til it all eventually fell apart.
Now I’m sober had to be detoxed in a hospital and trying to rebuild everything from scratch.
That includes getting my kids back in my life which was my rock bottom losing them.
Relationships come and go but I need to be sober be a better dad than I was that’s all I focus on and they keep me motivated to stay sober a day at a time
I’ll go a bit against the grain and say this is probably something you’ll have to experiment with. I would recommend going AF for at least 30 days and do some real reflection on what you want your relationship with alcohol to be, if any. This Naked Mind by Annie Grace and the 30 day experiment is a great place to start with this. A lot of this IMO will depend on whether your drinking is a matter of habit or dependency.
Simplified: a habit is something you learn and might be able to unlearn if wanted.
Addiction maybe starts as a habit and becomes your master. You can’t control or contain it. It is a fatal, all consuming disease. If left untreated, it will claim everything and everyone in your life, including yourself.
While you’re still alive, there’s hope for recovery. Don’t wait for your rock bottom - some can only stop when they’re six feet under.
tea swilling, pie eating Brit 
hope to see you around here more 
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. There are some really nice soft drinks coming on the market if late though. I’m a mad fan of J20 spritz watermelon at the mo. Loads of ice in a big bowl glass with a slice of lime 
it’s too hot in the uk at the min lol.