Thank you so much for being so generous with your advice.
Yes the social aspect is a huge conundrum for me. I really do want to be healthier and not engage in binge-drinking. However, I’m honestly pretty concerned about being lonely and having no social life. This is why I’m sincerely asking myself whether I really can have my cake and eat it too (eg not give up alcohol and maintain my social life).
I’m at that age where making new friends is hard. But you’re right, I need to decide what’s right for me, not care what others think and try my best to rejig my friendships around alcohol. Reading the stories of others who have done this is very encouraging.
I’m also trying to focus on the benefits of going dry, even if they’re superficial. I’d love to lose some weight, for my skin to clear up and for a better bank balance.
Thanks for your response. The message is loud and clear!
It sounds like you can’t get rid of all triggers in your life because you have close family members who drink. How do you deal with cravings and fending off pressure to drink?
Thanks. You are right but I can’t say I’m thrilled.
I’m going through a mourning process that I’ll really never be able to enjoy alcohol again, if not having a single drop is the best thing for me to do…
I remember my hangovers. This stops me. Also I accept that I am an alcoholic. This is the key. I read about it. I see a therapist. I also remember the times when I went to ER because of binging
I’m like you with chips and such. If I have one drink, I’ll have 5. In 30 days I’ll be three years sober. I know I’ll never be able to be a social drinker. I’ve accepted that and it’s ok.
You can’t focus on the rest of your life when it cones to sobriety, friend. That’s way too overwhelming, intimidating, & frustrating for us addicts. Only focus on TODAY. That’s it.
As you can see from all the advice, there is no such thing as learning to moderate alcohol if you’re an alcoholic. Your brain on alcohol is nothing more than a little devil sitting on your shoulder. When he tells you you want a drink, then starts the desire. It’s a desire that you can’t control because you have a disease.
Sounds like you’re going to miss your title as party animal, but there’s some things you have to choose if you want your life back.
The clarity of the advice has given me strong resolve to cut alcohol out completely.
I’m now on day 3.
While I feel great, I’m still a bit overwhelmed and processing my new life. But as many of you said, one day at a time. I will set a mini goal of 30 days (11 July).
I’m bracing myself for impact when I go home for Christmas. There are many ‘pressure drinkers’ in my family (whom you can’t get rid of unlike friends…) so I’m thinking of how I will deal with that.
Not to plug my own thread, but this is where I worked out how many times I tried to ‘moderate’ ‘control’ ‘drink normally’. It was a lot. I finally realized I have more chance of pooping chocolate, quite frankly, than being able to drink like a normie. It is ok, I can’t do handstands, speak Swahili either. Alcohol is one kind of beverage. I can drink others. When I miss the “sociality” I remind myself that forgetting conversations, slurring and over-sharing, falling over, etc, damage relationships more than make them closer. I remind myself that trying to control myself after one or two drinks is exponentially harder than saying no to the first drink. And I want an easy life! Sober is easier. And less shameful.
For me (and I’m imagining others too?) there is nothing sad about this revelation. Full acceptance comes with sorrow for all the pain we’ve felt and caused. It also comes with great liberation and calm. Coming to the reality that sober life was my only option was freeing. It was a celebration. I didn’t have to do all the calculations and thinking and justifying. I could devote all that time to being healthy and loving myself for who I am, flaws and all. Friends and family, if they are worth their salt, will respond to healthy changes with love and admiration. You fearing their response and losing their admiration and support is an excuse to just stay in this cycle you already recognize is troubling. So is your sadness about losing a lifestyle that caused you to download this app. Sobriety is a mindset as much as it is a change in lifestyle and routine. There is nothing sad about it. It is bold, difficult, praiseworthy, gutsy, and immeasurably rewarding.
That’s a long, long time away, that’s called future tripping. You’ll have to remain sober 1 day at a time for over 6 months just to be in that scenario. IF you make it there your sobriety will be much stronger so don’t worry about the current version of yourself having to deal with that.
You certainly can get, and remain sober. It takes being all in, %100 committed to living a ODAAT life. Best wishes to you.
Amen, @Starlight14 ! I was just explaining to my hubs how much harder it was for me to moderate. Caused So Much Anxiety to have to wait till a certain hour, try to spread them out, sip rather than drink… be pissed when I came to what I told myself would be the last, beat myself up when it wasn’t… BS! All of it! I LOVE my sober life! I’ll bet you do too. You will too, @ducksauce88. Day 3- Easy does it. You got this! We are right here with you.
I constantly felt pissed off/irritable/on edge/anxious/annoyed when someone would hold my stuff for me. I’d write a note that said when I was allowed to have it & sign it. Could be in 2 weeks or 1 week. I would also constantly argue with the person holding my stuff bc of course I’d be like, “I changed my mind,” daily. I’d even try to manipulate them into giving it to me & I’d search for it. This is obviously a worse way of living than just being sober. What a horrible existence. I’d be counting the days down every day. Yuck.
It’s not day 0 Kimberley. You’re here. You’re not alone and it’s one day at a time for us all. Hang with us. Congrats on making the decision to be sober. x
This is fabulous but pretty please once the 30 days are up have a next plan so as not to think well ive done it now or your cured of drinking and can now moderate since you did 30 days…remain vigilant as that voice will tell you anything to suck you back in
You will too, 
