The first card was abit hard to think about for me. But for this one:
I definitly have abandoned myself. As of age 16 I legally changed my name to “Hillary”, changed everything about me and refused to acknowledge me as a person since I despised myself so much growing up. Then with addiction along with all of that, it further added to that abandonment of self. I did legally change my name back to Dana years later but at the same time I developed an alter-ego named “Jody James” which was the name I used while in the sex trade. I never really accepted myself for who I was. I pushed my inner child back bcuz it was too painful to face her for everything I did to myself. In a sense I realized now that I was just trying to protect her (my inner child). If I brought out that vulnerability, it would be very unsafe for me. I HAD no choice but to have the masks on that I did. I am finding myself now that I am clean and sober. I have accepted my name “Dana” and am learning about myself. My inner child is being celebrated and I have gained alot of power back in my life by having recovery and by letting go of the things that hurt me.
WHAT IS A BOUNDARY YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO SET FOR YOURSELF?
Setting and sticking to a self imposed schedule. Particularly around eating, exercise, and journaling.
There’s so many things I want to get done, so I leave my days open, and I end up getting little to nothing done at all.
I think there’s a big part of me avoiding setting this boundary because I’m scared. I have started creating a schedule that helps me reach goals that I’m scared to commit to for fear of failing. Goals that feel bigger and more long term than any goals I have set in the past.
I’m realizing I need to better lay out these goals in smaller pieces with better established ways of assessing and tracking my progress.
This is a beautiful thread that I have only just come across. Thank you so much for what you are giving to people here. It’s really great. I will try and join in and answer the questions when they come up.
The way I approach communication in a toxic environment. I can go with and today practice solid boundaries while remaining authentic to loving deeply w out entanglement-that alone has lifted my environment to one absent of emotional hangovers and something that is straight out wonderful.
I made the mistake of letting someone into my life that I shouldn’t have. My gut was telling me I shouldn’t try to be friends with this person, that it wasn’t worth my time. I don’t have any friends where I am currently living so it felt like I ignored this feeling out of desperation, thinking any friend was better than no friend, and I started slipping into old self loathing thought patterns. I nearly convinced myself this was the best I could do, that I don’t deserve a better friend, and that I will always be treated poorly by my friends.
This taught me to be more selective, to trust myself, and to keep working on this self love journey — knowing I am worthy of healthy friendships and they will come along in time.
Perhaps not exactly self love related but something I came across on IG today that I decided I’d share here. I love the thought of humans all carrying around these beautiful little pieces of each other.
I know for certain people like my great uncle gave me unconditional love, guidance, care and his time and it was for a very brief period but yes, Absolutely I carry pieces of him with me.
WHAT BOUNDARY WOULD BENEFIT ME THE MOST TO SET WITH MYSELF? WHY HAVEN’T I SET IT YET?
I need to set boundaries with myself about how and when I talk to my ex. We have been isolated up in the middle of nowhere without other friends and are used to turning to each other for every little thing. The complaints about every small daily thing, our work, our families, dinner, groceries, bike gear releases & purchases…everything. I need to make a point of processing things on my own or turning to family, other friends by phone or text, or saving big things for therapy.
We have been trying to stay friends/civil/not make it awkward while the situation demands we still live together, but we are acting too much like things are normal. There is a big sense of denial that comes from it. We both have had a fear of moving on and figuring things out on our own now, and the way we communicate is keeping us stuck.
They are indeed hard to answer
but I have really found it worth the time and emotional strain to try and answer them, to get to know myself, and to let go of my own judgements.
The first few prompts I answered before I started the thread were really all over the place trying to find answers and only seeing negativity. They’ve gotten me to open up and be honest with myself.
I hope you will be able to find some answers for yourself in them.
For August 10:
I’ve been homeless way to many times, I’m proud that I’ve held an apartment for an entire year. (In fact, 8/10 was the exact day I signed the lease. Coincidence?)
For August 11:
You’ve faced dozens if not hundreds of challenges in your life and nobody’s beaten you yet. Aren’t you beyond self-doubt by now?
Ummm… I have self doubt in accomplishing certain goals (a healthy body amd healthy lifestyle). So if I tell myself that consistency is key and all I need to do is “show up” and try everyday… then I’ll be heading towards my goal. I didn’t get here in 1 day, so it’ll take more than 1 day to get to where I want to be
