Good for you for reaching out!
For me the thing that has made the biggest difference in moments where I’m tense is to reach out to share and for support. I usually come here and share on the checkin thread (Checking in daily to maintain focus #42) or you can make your own thread like you did here.
For me, getting it out in writing is a way to see the idea, see the thought, outside of myself. I get it out - and by doing that I can see it is not me, it is not something that controls me. I still see it, I know it’s there, but for me anyway giving it words helps me see that I control it, and not the other way around.
Another way to get help is to share in a recovery group, like Online meeting resources or Resources for our recovery. There’s a good list of them there.
The important thing is keep reaching out and keep searching for a space to share and get support. You are not alone.