Hi everyone, hope you all had / are having a good weekend.
I just feel incredibly lonely at the moment.
I have been a heavy drinker since I was 12, I am 35 now so have been drinking for 23 years. I eventually hit rock bottom a couple of months ago when I had a mental break down and my marriage broke up. The drink used to take away the pain and without it I am so lonely. I was with my wife for 12 years and we spent nearly every day together, I am now on my own, I guess the drink was my friend and without it I am struggling big time emotionally.
I have been going to AA and am 3 weeks sober, which is the longest I can ever remember going without a drink. (I was a daily drinker and couldn’t get past 24 hours before now). I am totally and utterly grateful for this group and the support of you all. I just wish this void would shift. I know it will eventually, but I’m just so sad today. Tomorrow is another day, and one day at a time and all that. But I just want a hug tonight. *:’o(
It sucks that alcohol becomes such a part of us that without it we feel at a loss…especially when it’s such a destructive thing that it helps take away from us the things we most care about sometimes.
I hope you can find something comforting to get you through this moment…maybe a good movie?
Comedies usually help me to get my mind off of things that are bothering me…
@Pod Thanks for sharing Fiona! Sorry things didn’t work out with your wife. I understand feeling lonely, I’ve felt it before in the past. Just know that even though you feel alone your never alone. I’m glad your part of this community! Sending prayers, positive vibes & hugs your way! Smile! I’m really proud of you for your 3 weeks sober, almost to the 1 month milestone! Whooohoooo! This too shall pass & remember emotions can be crazy & temporary. It helps me to take a hot bath & relax with some meditation music to sooth my mind, body & soul! Hope you have a peaceful night! Sending love your way! Blessings to you & Hugs:tulip:
I can feel with you very well. I lost two partnerships because of relapsing again and again. Both of these partners tried to help me, but I did not make it. Actually I am alone and sometimes I feel this lonelyness in a very painful way. Somebody told me about feelings just one sentence “You HAVE a feeling, but you ARE NOT a feeling” - meaning we might suffer from a feeling at the moment, but we need not to give ourselves up to it. And we should trust that the feeling will go away… maybe after some hours, maybe tomorrow, but it will.
Stay strong & stay sober
I mentioned in a post yesterday what I learned in therapy, basically feelings and emotions come and go sometimes good and not so good however taking that moment to take deep breath and focus on positive things does help. There is no need to feel alone!!! as you are not alone here. I keep positing all the time :what doesn’t kill you makes your stronger" (everybody is probably sick of me saying it)(lol) growing to better your self is not easy and can be confronting but at the end of the day the journey we are all on is worth it in the end. Remember to shine shine shine…!!! Try and surround yourself with positive people that is the key. When I am alone and feel lonely I will ring a friend or go for a walk it does wonders for the soul, on occasion I will sit in a coffee shop with a latte and people watch. There are many ways to combat loneliness. You have the right idea (reach for the stars I say)
Hi, thanks for sharing, it couldn’t have been easy to write. Loneliness is a huge part of drug abuse, whether the abuse is a consequence of loneliness or the abuse leads to it. In my case it lead to more abuse, after my divorce. I don’t have a family apart from my own sons, who needs to be able to be that; children. After being an appendage to my wife for 11 years, not having friends or family of my own (I still live in her territory now) the loneliness drove me to full blown alcoholism.
Although it’s lonelier without the drink, I know that it’s not the answer. It would be easier to meet people and make friends over a drink (or 15) but my mental and physical health will thank me later. 3 weeks sober is fantastic after 23 years of drinking, way to go! Like you said, the void will shift and I hope you feel a bit better today. Let’s not kid ourselves, it will be a roller coaster ride. But stay strong and sober!
Thanks Sumatra, you’re absolutely right. I cried most of the night and have felt pretty low today. But I went to an AA meeting last night and 2 today and feel much better. I spoke to a lots of people in AA and did my first night of commitment, which was a good step forward. I also just told a family member that I haven’t drank for over 3 weeks and she was so happy and positive for me. I’m going to go to bed much happier tonight, thanks to this group and its members and the AA fellowship.