Exhausting. It’s a progress to let go of it and goodness knows I’m not there yet, but in the short time I’ve been working on it, it’s been so freeing! Art was a huge part of my life growing up, but I slowly lost connection to it because I was comparing my work to others and to some “perfect” idea I had in my head. Like, if I couldn’t make it perfect why even do it at all, which of course meant I made nothing. A few weeks ago I decided to paint something using whatever materials I already had on hand, and just rolled with the imperfections, and it’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever made!
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As someone who isn’t an active member of AA, I find a lot of their “memorized sayings” useful because they do work…specifically
Playing the 
forward
One day at a time
Take what you need and leave the rest
Those phrases have literally saved me from relapsing. So while I don’t work the steps and I have my own feelings about why I don’t go to AA, some parts have been helpful!
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Being able to let go and be in the moment is such a gift…sobriety certainly helps make that possible. I am so envious of artists…being able to create, having the guts to put yourself out there…well done on going for it!! 
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I don’t gamble unless I’m drunk lmao 
I enjoyed the length of it funnydad
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I imagine he was! When I first saw him in concert I said, “Man, he IS God”…so that might definitely lead to a bit of egomania…so many people calling you a God. Lol the 70s.
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Did not use today. The forum helped. There are a lot of intelligent and helpful ones. Then there’s those “ you don’t want real talk from me”. Let me tell y’all something. I don’t say or insinuate anything if I as for real talk that’s what I want. Becuase guess what? Real talk is what you’re going to get back. Thank you for your helpful tips and suggestions. I also did NOT. Go to the place I said I was going to last post. No reason, just didn’t. Will try and go tmrw. My journey is continuing towards sobriety. I don’t believe in a “high powe”. I believe in my lord and savior JESUS CHRIST. So keep those door knobs and cigars to yourself. That’s your cliche I speak of. The one day at a time doesn’t bother me because I am a “what’s in front of me” type of person. I was once called with bad news while helping someone build a deck. He asked “ what are you going to do?” I said drive this nail into this 2x4. Again thank you. The updates will come until the last interested person stops responding. Peace and love
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Makes sense to me. It’s something that’s been forming in my mind too… How do we work out who we really are when we have put so much time and energy into getting away from it, and projecting an image of how we want other people to see us…
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Glad to hear you didn’t use today. Building a community (whether that’s here, AA, wherever) is a really helpful part for staying sober. That’s where the hard work comes in. Having people you can reach out to makes a difference.
In your first post you say you can’t stop relapsing… What have you tried to help you stop? If what you’re doing isn’t working, sounds like it’s time to do some things differently.
Things that lots of people find helpful:
- Read on here. A lot. Use the search function and just browse through. Find the stuff you relate to and let it inspire you.
- Exercise, walking, cycling, running, swimming. Whatever it is but something to get your blood pumping and the dopamine release going.
- Time outside, nature is an incredible healer.
- Mindfulness- meditation, doesn’t have to be recovery focused.
- Therapy, uncovering why you were drawn to using and what keeps you in the cycle.
- Recovery literature, there is a lot. Also podcasts and more generally self help (to deal with the why you use in the first place).
- Sleep. Lovely, lovely sleep. There is no rule that says adults have to stay up late. Even on the weekend.
- Deal with being bored. Sobriety isn’t boring, if we’re bored then we are the boring one! Saying that, it’s ok to be bored. Time passes with or without substances.
- Patience. It takes time to find what clicks and you need to remain open to new ideas and ways of thinking. Harder than it sounds!
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Sad to say several hours after I posted that. I relapsed. It was a mindless action like I told someone else on here. I feel I’ve done it for so long it’s become part of my routine. I’ve got to get this “habbit” the routine changed. Thanks for caring enough to reply
Is there a particular time of day you usually make that phone call?
Not really. Just when I complete all me tasks and responsibilities
Find something else to do at that moment. Are you looking at it as a reward?
Find another reward that you would enjoy and get pleasure from.
Here’s some real talk. Don’t. Fucking. Use! That’s how I got sober. And IOP (that outpatient thing you decided not to go to) and accepting that even though I was “highly functional” I was a fucking disaster! And therapy. And a lot of the cliches you don’t want. I mean, A LOT of cliches. And throwing my fucking ego and preconceived notions out the window, then burning it to the ground. I was powerless over addiction until I did. Then I asked for all the help. And I listened to what was suggested. Every. Single. Word.
I never went to AA or NA. It wasn’t suggested until I had a good grasp on very early sobriety, and at that point I was doing the work all day everyday. I will never hesitate to go if I end up back where you are. I won’t hesitate to go if my 3+ years of sobriety and recovery feel like it’s in jeopardy. I will NEVER reject ANY idea if I need help.
Trash the ego like it’s trashing your life, bro. You are not better than us. We’ve talked the talk and most of us have walked the walk. We aren’t full of shit, your addict mind is. Cliches aren’t full of shit, your addict mind is.
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Um … I think you still have a pretty big ego and in denial. I never claimed to be better than anyone but I’m pretty sure with your launguage you’re not on my level even as an addict. Here’s some advise for you. Don’t take your unhappiness out on others. That’s All I have to say to you. You hypocrite
Well with this type of attitude you are probably never going to get sober. But it doesn’t seem like that really bothers you. This whole thread is dripping with you acting like you are better than everyone. Well guess what bud. We are sober. You are not. There’s been a lot of good stuff said on this thread that you seem to be ignoring. Might be time to try someone else’s way since your way will never work.
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And please don’t come at me with. That language in fact don’t engage again. That’s not real talk thats aggressive babbling. Unnecessary.
I appreciate you opinion. Guess I’m in the wrong place. Peace and love.
Could you please explain what you mean by “real talk”?
Do you just want platitudes that are false.
“Oh don’t worry, keep trying, it’s only failing if you give up”.
Or do you want
" Get yourself out of your own head, let Jesus (your Higher Power) lead you to a better life by working hard at your sobriety"
I know which one I prefer.
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This is the right place if you are looking to get sober. Plenty of people use it to vent, however therapy is usually a better option for that.
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