I am attending a family wedding today, and my wife is the Maid of honor. I have been sober now for 12 days. Last night was hard at the rehearsal dinner, but I did not have alcohol, (which was great because coming home, we ended up going through a DUI checkpoint).
Looking for tips on making it through a wedding and not drinking. The Bride already expects me to be drunk, she said I better be drinking and be out on that dance floor.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
Have to be selfish and take care of you. If you are not at the point where you feel comfortable to say why you cant drinkā¦being on antibioticsā¦always is a good excuse.
There are people on here that will give you the right adviceā¦I am only on 23 days but I really do feel your painā¦ I hope you have a lovely sober dayā¦ stay strong and just try to remember how proud you will be of yourself tomorrow morningā¦
And as far as being on the dance floorā¦I dont know how old you areā¦but at my ageā¦some part of my body always hurtsā¦slept wrong and your neck is killingā¦combined with being on antibioticsā¦pretty strong excuse
Thanks, pretty clever idea.
Thanks. Did feel proud today after making it through the rehearsal dinner.
Thanks, was thinking about drinking Arnold Palmers through the wedding.
Drink lots of fizzy water with a twist or ginger ale. If you get uncomfortable or the urge, take a break and go outsideā¦take a walk, check on here, walk some more. You can also leave if it gets bad and pick up your wife later, she should understand. You can always lie and say you have the runs. Eat lots of food and cake at the wedding. Dance your heart out sober. Take another walk. Most of all, honor YOU your badass self staying sober and rockin it! And congrats on your 12 days and rehearsal dinner sobriety!
In am only on day 7, so I donāt have many good tips for not drinking, however I have worked a lot of weddings and know that brides are in a bit of a whirlwind on their wedding day. Donāt worry about not being drunk on the dance floor. If you get thru her dragging you out there once she will probably get caught up with someone else and you can skip the drinking on the dance floor. Stay strong, you can do it!
Eeash, I donāt like the sound of this. The bride needs to be informed you are quit, I believe. Drink at the kidās table, go outside for breaks a lot, overeat, anything you can do to stay solid. 12 days is really early for attempting an event like this, I would be terrified! Check in on TS if you think you might drink! If you have a sponsor, accountability partner, a sober friend, or even someone on here text them or call them if it gets rough! You Can do this!
Thatās a great idea!
Funny, I hadnāt read your response before I responded and I came up with the exact same things! Even overeating! Lol! Great minds
I pretty much agree with all the advice here. I usually hand the bartender a $20 right when I get there and say āhey Iām soberā¦but if Iām up here with a bunch of people drinking could you just likeā¦toss my seltzer with lime in the vodka club glasses and make it look like Iām drinking?!ā They usually just really appreciate that someone who is essentially drinking water all night is going to tip themā¦making it out on the dance floor with the bride just about once will totally do the trick and then from there? Party out on all the good food! Iām an appetizers gal myself and love gorging on the goodies while everyone gets sloshed. Head outside on your phone and check in on here as much as you can! My favorite though, especially when everyone stays over for the night, is being bright and chipper and healthy the next morning while everyone is in some state of hungover from mild headache to the guy that canāt keep food down. I donāt mean that Iām a mean way by the way! It just helps to remind me and recommit me to the fact that drinking is JUST PLAIN BAD FOR YOU! Life is enjoyable on its own, and you CAN get through this.
Much Love,
Ely
I was in my best friendās wedding when I was around 90 days. It was much harder than I anticipated. Hereās what I did to stay sober:
Hereās what almost got me in trouble: there were folks there who knew me in the past but did not know I had gotten sober. One literally put a glass of champagne in my hand and starts saying, āTime for a speech!ā It would have been so easy to tell myself that one sip wouldnāt matter - but we all know where that would have gotten me. I gave the speech, raised the glass, and went over to hug the happy couple - and no one even batted an eyelash as I subtly put the glass down untouched.
At the reception, an old and very drunk aquaintance kept urging me to do a shot with him. I just kept laughing him off, saying something like, āOh goodness, Iāve got to be up early!ā
It turned out just fine, largely thanks to my friends on this forum. My suggestion is to make a plan for any scenario you think might arise. If you find yourself about to drink, promise yourself that you will reach out for help before you pick up. Twelve days is worth so much! And you will be so proud of yourself when you end the night - and wake up - totally sober. 
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Oh! I meant to sayā¦itās totally up to you what youāre comfortable withā¦but anyone you CAN tell, I WOULD tell. Thereās a lot of conversation on here as to what we do or donāt tell people, or even the way we word it. I simply told my friends āyeah, Iām not drinking anymoreā¦itās not healthyā or some such thing. Theyāve all been really respectfulā¦but I know not everyoneās long time wedding acquaintance type people would be like that. Your wife knows about your sobriety yes?Could your wife and you have a code word? So that if you say it she helps you get out of there quick? Sober allies are super important in these situations, so get as many people on board with you as youāre comfortable with! Fight the good fight today!
Much Love,
Ely
Iāve found that I can make an ass out of myself dancing whether Iām sober or drunk. Itās just that when Iām sober people are laughingāwith me, not at me.
I was in a wedding last weekend! My husband and our daughter was in it too. I did the toast, was her right hand man all night and had a BLAST!!! If you offer to help with whatever arises you will be busy! Staying busy helps a ton. Dance with your beautiful wife on the dance floor most people wonāt remember you dancing cuz they are too drunk anyway they will just remember it was fun not knowing why lol. If you feel uncomfortable go for a walk, call somebody, take a break. If youāre able to bring a separate car and you and your wife have a backup plan if you need to leave thatās ok. Great advice here as well good luck and listen to yourself!
I was going to do the sameš. Hope you are having a grand evening!